What the World Needs Now Is Not a 'Boondock Saints' Sequel
But it's getting one...
Troy Duffy once punched me in the crotch. It was a ferocious blow, worthy of the Hall of Fame of Great Cock Knocks. But, I should have seen it coming. The wind-up was long (yet the punch was swift and solid). I still cough up blood when thinking about it from time to time. I have never been the same since suffering through the dick-mangling wrath of Duffy's The Boondock Saints. Nor has Willem Dafoe, who has been known to take long, treacherous journeys into the most uninhabited regions of Earth to reconcile with God about costarring in The Boondock Saints.
My attitude towards conflicting movie opinions is a tad hippie in its approach. To each their own, man. However, Boondock Saints provides the exception. And I must thank Duffy. The film whittled my world view to a simple philosophy that has served me well: If you love Boondock Saints, I cannot love you.
But enough with The Boondock Saints. I have ranted on that experience in the past. It is time to look to the future and buy stock in nut cups because Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day (whoo, so serious sounding) is actually filming at this very moment, in the deepest pit of hell (or Boston or Vancouver or something, I don't know, as long as it's not in my backyard). The dorm-room poster industry is surely joyous over the news.
The movie will be like a groovy time-warp. A glorious trip back to the late '90s, when ripping off Quentin Tarantino was the sort of cool thing to do — Troy Duffy: hackneyed douche or victim of peer pressure? But who knows? Maybe Duffy has some new stolen tricks up his sleeve. After all, he has had a decade-long break between his first and previous film, The Boondock Saints, and The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day (you see , the title is a play on… oh, who gives a shit?) to watch plenty of movies and figure out how to poorly imitate their best moments. So I guess we can expect some bullet-time effects for this outing. As the kids say, that is so off the hook (if we were still living in the year 2000).
I don't kid, I don't kid. Duffy is the derivative of the derivative of dumb. Yet, I will give the man credit. He is tenacious. Boondock fans (if there are any that will claim the moniker) clamored for a sequel for years — their dorm-room posters were getting sun-faded and they were in need of fresh movie quotes detailing previously unimagined ways to overload sentences with the words "fuck," "fucking" and "fucker." And he has delivered on the promise of a sequel, despite burning every bridge imaginable by being one of the most arrogant, obnoxious assholes to ever get a lucky break in Hollywood (see the fascinating documentary on Duffy's rise and fall called Overnight). I believe they call that moxy in Hollywood.
So yaaay, people who hate good cinema and who would probably kick a baby penguin if they could finally get their Boondock Saints sequel. That is one for the mouth-breathers. Yippee.
As much as I despise the first film, I cannot deny it has a large cult following. Assuming the sequel receives decent distribution and is not opened against Avatar, could it suck in a pile of mighty millions at the box office? At what point does a fanatical following bleed into mainstream appeal? This is the same conversation currently revolving around Twilight. Will it be big? Or will it be huge?
For All Saints Day, the question is more like will it be meh or will it be big? While thousands of fans will drag their knuckles into theaters across the country to get cock-punched by Duffy, I doubt the sequel will grab the attention of the average moviegoer. The cult of the Boondock Saints is similar to the cult of Kevin Smith's "Jay and Silent Bob" films. If you walk onto a college campus and mention the films, everyone can tell you their favorite bits. But if you reference the films at your local mall, most people will just look at you real stupid-like and back away. Even at the height of Smith's popularity, films such asDogma or Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back remained minor blips on the box-office radar — and those films were stacked with legitimate stars. However, they made enough dollars for Smith to keep cranking them out. And since All Saints Day probably cost a few nickels and a couple of rental late-fees at Blockbuster, I am positive it will make enough to recoup its budget.
So yes, Duffy will inflict some below-the-belt pain on humanity with the creation of All Saints Day. Oh how I wish it were not so. Yet, I find hope in the likelihood that it will come and quickly go, and perhaps with a little bit of luck, and faith in your typical fanboy behavior, the cult will hate the living shit out of it and run Duffy out of the film business on a rail.
By the way, if you don't know what Boondock Saints is and have been lost througout this entire cranky rant:
- Good for you, you're a real trooper to read all that.
- Consider yourself lucky.
Of course, if you feel the need to be in the know, here are a few links to get you started:
- Production videos for Boondock Saints
- Boondock Saints on MySpace
- The Official Website (which is still pubbing the old movie)
Links from Other Sites You May Like
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Hahaha
Sorry Dave but I enjoyed Boondock Saints.
I'll never say it's great but it's sure entertaining and might I even suggest funny?
I allso enjoy Smith's films so there you go.
Ah well, to each his own right.
Yeah the irish do overuse the word fuck. Their cursing dictionary is somewhat limited.
Then again in my language there are more curse words than in any other. (not sure whether thats a good thing)
I can imagine your ….er… reluctance about a sequel. I'm not sure that's really needed either.
Sometime you should just leave things be.
Maybe a good one for Brad, a top ten of sequels that the world could've done without.
Yeeeeaah….I like Boondock Saints. Its not a great movie. Hell, its not even really a GOOD movie, but damn it if it isnt a FUN movie. And great for drinking games. :)
I actually just signed up for this stupid website just so I can comment on how much I dislike you. I love Boondock Saints, and I am glad that you do not love me, because I could never love someone as intellectually devoid as yourself. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean you should trivialize the intelligence of those that do. The movie was entertaining. I find it insulting that you have to define me as a mouth breathing, knuckle-dragging mongoloid. Have fun writing a column on an obscure website that I never heard of before today. Only reason I am here is because of a google news search for Boondock Saints.
Ha! You google news searched Boondock Saints. Now that's just plain silly.
"Ha! You google news searched Boondock Saints. Now that's just plain silly"
It's not silly if you are trying to verify if the Boondock Saints sequel is really filming or if its just a rumor. Your pathetic attempt at humor makes me sad
Lighten up ishotthedoor.
I don't agree with David either but to whine about ho much you dislike him based on one thing he wrote that happens to be different from your opinion is a bit much.
We had enough of that sadness with the whole twilight thing.
Hey you revisited this "stupid," "obscure" website that you only came by because you were google news searching Boondock Saints just to see if I responded. That warms my heart. You're a goofy, little troll. I think I like you, despite your affinity to crap movies.
RaTTleR_NL, I dislike him because he called all people who like Boondock Saints morons, including you. I don't really care what he thinks about the movie, but to insult someone's intelligence for liking a movie that he doesn't like is just rude, so I called him out on it.
davidfrank, I revisit all sites I make comments on to see if people reply to my comments. I didn't really mean to insult you or anything, its just that I hate it when people call others stupid for stupid reasons. Its a movie, nothing to insult people on. Now people that liked Disaster Movie and the like, those are the morons.
ishotthedoor, I think if you click on the "Shallow End" link and read more of David's articles you will see they are all written in a tongue-in-cheek nature. Basically, it's his style.
You got a little too insulted a little too quick.
All I can think of when the word Boondock Saints are said is Dafoe in drag, and many miserable nights when my friends made me watch this. I hate that movie so much. Anyone want to throw down ten bucks that I get dragged to this sequel? I say the only way this could be good is if Palin and Mccain dress up in drag and decide to take up vigillante work after they lose the election tuesday.
HAHA, if that happens it's my treat. I'll get popcorn and everything.
I loved the movie and seeing Dafoe in drag was hilarious…Just so you know, I am a baby boomer…I finished college years ago…
Ahhh….wasps….Dear david I submit that any movie celebrating a given ethnicity is trivial and off putting to you….Being a wasp you consider yourself an american..nothing more…your heritage is as inconsequential to you as the brand of ketchup you put on your franks. It must be disconcerting that the only two nee factors in life that define you are your skin color and citizenship. I suggest you research your background whether german or english(most likely) and embrace the good with the bad. It may give you insight into who you are and less resentful of those who know….love and kisses Herr Chandler…
Okay im just about finished with the shit that boondock saints and troy duffy get from immature, narrow minded children like david 'wank' frank.
The only reason why you posted this is because troy nailed you in your pathetic little dick and you seek revenge by dissing him and his brilliant movie behind his back.
Im a fan of this movie VERY much so, along with other favourites such as Goodfellas, donnie brasco, Casablanca, Oceans eleven (original and remake), the godfather, casino, and many more great
you see the piont im making is that I personally think this film is equal to these in my opinion
now please do not get me wrong, it is NOT anywhere near as good as these, but i like it just as much. and in my mind its Willem Dafoe's greatest performance.
I cant wait until the sequel completely bends you over you whiney little bitch
stop posting shit columns just to get people to quarrel about it for more hits on a lame-ass website
Greetings from england :)
While I believe to each their own in regards to movie preference what bothers me most about this post is ….you never gave us any concrete criticism or pointed out any specific things that makes this movie distasteful for you David. When critiquing a film you should use specific examples. How can anyone take you critique of the film seriously when all you do is rant on and on like a bulletin board troll with droll uses of inaccurate analogies to crotch mutilation for your dislike of the film. Honestly, I have seen much, much worse. Never is there mention of the theme of the film; vigilantes that are faith based to enact some kind of justice upon criminals that always seem to get off scott free by the judicial system. It is a valid concern of today's society and we see it happening so often these days. Celebrities that are treated above the law because of their money and status. Rapists and child molesters that are 'treated' in a controlled environment and released only to get better at what they do and become harder to catch the next time when they do it. What is it that you do not like? The religious overtones? The Irish characters? Disappointed that you didn't get to see Ron Jeremy's python? (My suggestion….rent some porn.) Are you related to Mafia and do not like the violence against criminals? What is your idea of a 'good' movie? Are you one of those film snobs that like to think that you are so above films that do not star classically trained actors or are based on the literary works of Shakespeare or Jane Austin? Clearly you see yourself as above others in intellect and those that do not agree with you are knuckle dragging mouth breathers. Such disdain for others simply shows a lack of broadmindedness and low mental capacity. One must be able to step outside themselves and see things through other's perspectives to get a complete picture of the world in which they live. I would appear that you have not quite managed to master this technique. So enlighten us and give us specific examples as opposed to how much you dislike the writer/director as a person.
I don't know what is more amusing: David's attempt at witticism, or the fact that he really doesn't have enough to do in life but freak out over whether or not a sequel gets made. Truly, is it THAT life shattering? So there is a popular movie that you don't happen to like… Big deal. And who exactly died and made David the king-high poobah of movie critics? Some people loved Boondock Saints, some people hated it. I, personally loved it. It was funny. I happen to like campy films. I find them amusing. If this makes me a mongoloid, well so be it. Better than than an angry, pubescent idiot that spends his days fuming about the cinematic efforts of others, rather than finding other constructive things to do with his time. I read this article, because, well I got a link from imdb.com when I was just looking to see if the BS sequel was even still in the works. It had been a long time since I'd heard any mention of it so I looked it up. What's sad is that I, a fan of the original movie hadn't really taken any effort to pay attention to this before now, but my complete (and I assure you David, you are my COMPLETE opposite) opposite spends his days worried about it. Hmmm.. That's funny in itself.
David, David, David… it almost sounds as if you've been personally spurned by Duffy and/or any of the actors in this film. You don't like the film, that's cool. I still don't (and never will) understand the appeal of, say, a Die Hard. No big deal. Let it go, man.
Peace…
I was searching for upcoming movies and saw the name boondock saints 2 and figured there was already a boondock saints film. 2009/02/26, i just watched the movie a few hours ago, and i personally think its funny and entertaining. I would just like you to know that i think you are one of the most narrow minded person i've came across. The world does not revolve around you and your ideas.
Well David….It looks like you need to admit you made a mistake and eat crow.
@jendar: What an interesting statement. You are insinuating David has made a mistake on his own opinion? Am I understanding this correctly? This means David doesn't know what he thinks?
@Haydn Leslie: hahahaha – I couldn't have put it better myself.
@FlickChick: wow, very nice :) couldn't have said it better
Wow, I do agree everyone is entitled to their opinion, as long as those opinions aren't stated as facts. I feel the same way about the movie Frailty, and numerous others. However, when i state my opinion, i keep it that, my OPINION. I also back it up by stating why i have this opinion about said film. If you don't, you run the risk of sounding like a pretentious, dull minded, bored individual who has nothing better to do than to write narrow minded colums, insulting people because they don't like the same things that you do. Now, if you stated reasons why you felt this way instead of just a pathetic display of jealousy and ignorance, more people probably might have agreed with you. You really can't just go casting aspersions on other people's characters, whom you don't even know, because you think everyone should know and bend to your tumescent, deluded OPINION. So, that being said, I do think you are right in saying what you feel-you know, 1st ammendment yada yada yada, just do yourself a favor, so you don't look like a deuche bag: 1. Don't state your opinion as a fact.Because as stated above, it makes you look like a narrow minded, biggoted, bored and deluded jack ass. 2. Don't insult the general public just because they might like something YOU don't – heaven forbid. (Yes,for some retarded reason, people do get offended by complete strangers' slander and libel because they feel that because you are on the internet, that you must have some authority in the matter over whether what you call them is congruent to their characters – god bless stupid people, or the general world population. Same thing) 3. If you are really going to rant about why you really REALLY don't like something enough to go as far as insult the general fan base of whatever it is YOU don't like, then be sure to include exactly WHY, so people can at least present a good argument as to why they agree or disagree with you. If not, then you run the risk of yet again, sounding like a wanna be pretentious facist, and starting a kindergarten like 'not uh'/'uh huh' argument.
Then again, i guess people need this kind of frivolous and meaningless stuff to feel like they've won something. *shrug* Whatever. I do have to say, that the movie you are saying you dislike has a star-wars like cult following. I do hope the second one will be good, as not to destroy the being of the first movie. I have a feeling it will either be awesome, or totally be over done and stupid. And though i agree with your opinion of Troy, i Do Not with your opinion of the movie. Well directed, produced, and written. Sorry. I guess that makes me a 'mongoloid mouthbreather' or whatever. Oh no, whatever shall i do about this aspersion you have cast on my character??? Oh yea, that's right, NOT GIVE A SHIT because you are probably miles away from where i am, only existing on this electronic device you probably use as your 'golden calf.' Be careful, apparently God doesn't like that sort of thing. He might come down and cancel your WOW subscription. Gee, i hope my comment doesn't get a negative reply, or they might delete it!!
also, i guess if i don't like the movie, then you love me and i'm like you – which i have no interest in being. Yet, if i don't like it, then i'm a mongoloid mouth breather whom you love?? I don't have an interest in being that either. Wow, i'm screwed according to you huh? Crap, guess I'll just have to navigate away from this page :)
Correction, "….I'm a mongoloid mouth breather whom you DON'T love…"
The movie was great! I don't understand why some people either love it or hate HIM. Who cares about Duffy. Judge the film on the film. It's entertaining and very funny. Anyone I show this movie to is instantly in love with it and would watch it again. That's what makes it a cult classic. And who cares if everyone at the mall knows of it? That's not because they wouldn't like it, it is because it didn't get publicity.
& Like you were wondering about 'Twilight' you can see how huge it got and it was a steaming pile of crap! I loved the book, but it was horrible and the acting made me want to vomit. And I still love the book. So if All Saints Day is even half of the first, I will be happy. I doubt any sequal to ever be as good as the first, but I would love to see what happens with all 3 of them together now.
AND… why does everyone say the mouth-breather thing? It's so over-used and stupid.