What Do YOU Consider the Worst Movie Ever?
I just can't put my finger on mine...
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As I was trying to think of a top ten for this week I was drawing blanks. Then, I watched Death Wish for the first time. After all, if Sylvester Stallone wanted to remake it I felt it must be decent right? I had forgotten all about the comparisons made between last year's The Brave One, which unfortunately dealt me the death blow.
Death Wish is a travesty of a film. It is so bad I didn't even finish watching it. It pained me. I felt it was made to punish the audience as opposed to the baddies in the film. However, it's not a film I would call the worst ever, not by a long shot. After all, at home it is always easier to stop a film before watching the entire thing. However, how often do you leave the theater before the film is over? Especially now days with ticket prices what they are?
The only film I ever paid for and walked out was the 1991 Steve Martin flick L.A. Story. I was with three friends and we collectively agreed it was time to leave as soon as Martin's character started talking to a billboard. Is it the worst film I have ever "seen"? Does it qualify if I didn't technically watch the entire thing? Hmmmm…
Following L.A. Story, the majority of films I paid for in theaters I enjoyed, but then again I didn't go to a ton of movies until I started RopeofSilicon.com. I did the meat of my movie watching at home, where I felt I wasn't wasting my money and my friends and I would go to the theater for the blockbusters, which weren't always great, but the odds were normally better.
Since starting RopeofSilicon I have seen plenty of bad movies, and I sat through all but one of them, believing it was my job and my duty to the readers to suffer so they could live better lives.
The one movie I walked out of was 2004's The Bridge of San Luis Rey. It took only a matter of five minutes for me to know this was going to be one of the worst movies I had ever seen and there were 115 minutes left. There were only a handful of us in the theater and I felt it would be rude to leave. Then it happened, an older critical couple stood up and left. I quickly followed and prayed for the well-being of that couple. They had saved me from certain doom and I only had to withstand 15 minutes. Again, since I didn't watch the whole thing is it the worst film I have ever seen? It could have gotten much better, but based on the fact that there is only one positive review for the film I am sure I could get away with it. But I still am not sold.
Picking the worst movie you have ever seen is not easy. At least not for me. The trouble is that in the right situation even the worst movies can be entertaining. Take for example 88 Minutes. I slapped that flick with an "F", but you give me a six pack and some friends and you can have a lot of fun with that flick. Hitman is awful, but same deal goes for that one.
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Recent terrible films that I considered were Stealth and Over Her Dead Body. These are films that include no redeeming value. You can't make fun of them they are so bad. Stealth actually almost made me quit this site (18 people gave that a positive review, 18 people I will never ask for a movie opinion).
I don't watch a lot of spoof films so I can't speak to their quality, but I can say Scary Movie and Scary Movie 3 were shit, but I dug the opening to the third one and chuckled a couple times in the first one so they don't count. Jenny McCarthy's Dirty Love involves Jenny running around a grocery store looking for tampons while dripping and slipping in her own blood… that one was pretty bad.
The Star Wars prequels are bad, but far, far away from the worst movie I have ever seen. Same goes for the much loathed Catwoman. Then you have the films people love to hate: Plan 9 from Outer Space, Showgirls and anything by Uwe Boll (I tried not to mention him, trust me), but the passionate hatred for these flicks only seems to make them more enjoyable.
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I have seen a lot of really, REALLY bad movies, but my pick would be Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever. Just a waste of time. I worked at a video stored when it came out and saw it free and I still feel ripped off! I did my best to talk every customer who treid to rent or buy it out of it.
Ecks vs. Sever was definitely the most pointless movie Ive ever seen, but Ive recently watched a SciFi channel movie called Sands of Oblivion starring Morena Baccarin and Adam Baldwin(of Serenity "fame") …most definitely the worst movie Ive ever seen. I couldn't ever get through the whole thing…I stopped with Id guess 10 minutes left… just couldn't do it. And Im huge fan of bad horror/scifi movies, and a big Serenity/ Firely fan.
And Bio-Dome is freakin hilarious…
Rest Stop, Kingdom Of Heaven. Only movie I ever walked out on is Hide and Seek.
Hide and Seek is very bad and so is Godsend if you want even more bad De Niro horror flicks. However, while I didn't really care for Kingdom of Heaven in theaters, the Director's Cut on DVD is outstanding.
I think the worst movie I've seen is Plan 9 from Outer Space. It makes you think that such movies like Hide and Seek, Ballistic, etc. are actually good.
Jeez Brad, you couldn't have picked easier question? what the meaning of life or what the unified field theory is?
When many b-films can provide some sort of entertainment it's hard to decide. Allso cause you try to block the memory or you where smart enough to stay away.
Allright how about The Funeral, especially with that cast it still has a cut-me-own-throat quality about it.
Bloodrayne doesn't even get the b-movie attraction, Battlefield Earth is a grade-A stinker and so is The Devils Own and The Da Vinci Code
I've never seen Glitter, Gigli or The Hottie and the Nottie but I could understand the nominations in this category none the less.
A move is made worse when it creates bigger expectations than it can deliver be it by actors or hype for instance.
Leonard Part 6 with Bill Cosby back in 1987-88 I think.
Good question brad and thanks for stnaind up for kingdom of heaven. but there are so many out there so im gonna break the rules and give you more than one. all the spider-mans (trash) and Batman and Robin might be on many peoples list personally i just pretend that movie never happened. There are others but i hated those spider-man movies because i felt bad for myself for seeing such poor acting and boring stuff. Im sorry to people who liked it im glad you did but me personally hated them
Ziemer, I am not sure if you have read my rants on Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2 (right here), but I am with you on those and am ashamed I ever liked the second one.
Batman and Robin was definitely bad, and even Batman Forever was not to be desired. Ghost Rider was an equally bad comic book movie and Elektra was right up there with the worst. At least in my book. :)
As for Kingdom of Heaven, the folks that haven't seen the director's cut are really missing out, it is almost like a new film. I will agree with the theatrical release though, I didn't much care for that version at all either.
Master of Disquise. My vote for the worst movie ever. Not fun, not interesting…completely painful to sit through.
WOWi cant belive i ever rented MR. Woodcock and thought it would be good. That movie is the most boring piece of shit comedy i have ever seen. Billy bob thorton is the same person in ever friggin movie hes in , he never changes. Im pretty sure they just picked Sean William Scott because he was in american pie and thought theyd win ppl over that… hes a softy in this movie … its so bland …. i only watched about 15 mintues of it. Waste of my time
Brad i just did and i am very glad someone agrees with me on this because many people hate me for hating the spider-man movies. Kingdom of heaven DC is an amazing film and your right it is like a new film and to be honest with you i dont remember much of the normal cut but yes Batman forever was not as great either and the other comic book films you mentioned were not good either. I enjoyed Daredevil DC (same story with kingdom of heaven) nothing really to write home about though but it was not bad.
I will give you five off the top of my head that definitely could vie for the top spot (or bottom, however you look at it).
Saw IV
The Covenant
Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows
Rob Zombie's Halloween Remake
The Hills Have Eyes
I LOVED Kingdom of Heaven in theatres so obviously I absolutely go ga-ga over the Director's Cut. Also, Daredevil is one of my favorite comic book films. I thought it was really good visually and I really liked Ben Affleck in the role.
Easily, without a doubt…"Nukie."
Okay, maybe I need to watch this Daredevil director's cut. I really didn't have much of an opinion one way or another on the original film.
Oh, and I agree, the SAW films have ventured into awful. I enjoyed the first one, was okay with the second and loathed the third and will never watch one again.
I can't believe no one has mentioned Club Dread. Am I the only one who was tortured by that movie? Although, the Broken Lizard guys kind of redeemed themselves with Beerfest.
My worst list includes the following:
Three Stallone flicks lead the way…
1. Stop! or My Mom Will Shoott>
2. Oscart>
3. Rambo III [for some reason, I have never made it past the first 5 minutes]L-)
Also on the list…
Bloodrayne [and I generally like anything regarding Vampires]
And quite often, anything the SciFi channel produces are worse than the worst "B" flicks.:-&
In The Name of the King (just watched this one, bought because I love Jason Statham, and boy does it suck!!)
Well, just to name a few!
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. There was no plot, it was completely awkward, and I am glad that we only paid a dollar at the budget..but even my dollar was not worth it.
I can not believe I forgot that one. Super Troopers was funny, not really a good movie, but funny. (Brian Cox Drunk-"I'm gonna kick your ass." =Priceless) That being said Club Dread was an absolute travesty. I need to watch Beerfest to see how that stacks up for me in the Broken Lizard repertoire. Good call on Club Dread though. Ha, what a very fitting title.
I love Bruce Willis, he is one of my absolute favorites. However, Perfect Stranger was junk. Just junk. (Although none of it was Mr. Willis' fault).
I'll throw Gothika in there too while Im on a Halle Berry kick (yea, she is gorgeous but I just don't think she is a versatile actress at all, i.e. Monster's Ball was COMPLETELY overrated and the only award that should have come from it was for Heath Ledger's performance). Gothika was decent visually, and it had the little bonus of Robert Downey Jr., but the plot was ridiculous.
See, there are so many bad ones out there I think it is just as impossible to say what movie you hated the most as much as it is to say which one is your absolute favorite. Perfect Stranger is another great call, that movie had nothing to enjoy.