Ugh, Will You Go See 'Scary Movie 5'?

Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan in Scary Movie 5
Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan in Scary Movie 5
Photo: Dimension Films

Dimension Films sent over the following two TV spots for Scary Movie 5, which hits theaters on April 12 and comes with a PG-13 rating, which has become a rating trend following Scary Movie 2. Considering I couldn't muster up the self hate to watch anything beyond the first one and the third one (which I reviewed back in 2003 before I knew any better) I haven't seen Scary Movie 2 or 4.

This fifth installment is directed by Malcolm D. Lee (Soul Men) and features a fleet of second rate talent including Ashley Tisdale, Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Snoop Dogg, Katt Williams, Molly Shannon, Terry Crews, Simon Rex, Jerry O'Connell, Sarah Hyland, Katrina Bowden, Tyler Posey, Shad Moss aka Bow Wow, Kate Walsh, Heather Locklear, Mac Miller and Mike Tyson.

The film spoofs films such as Paranormal Activity, Mama, Sinister, Black Swan and Evil Dead and even finds a way to toss a little Inception parody in there.

Depending on your own level of self-hatred I invite you to watch the two trailers below and let me know if you have the nerve to actually spend your money on this trash. Anyone out there up for defending films like this being made when this money could be spent on something better?

I'm not talking about the defense that you may find this mildly humorous considering you could say that about any other bad movie out there with nut-crushing jokes. Or even a defense this just might make the studio money... I'm talking about legitimate interest in what you see here in terms that you would rather see Scary Movie 5 or films such as InAPPropriate Comedy or Movie 43 over nearly anything else.

It's easy enough to look on and say, "Eh, doesn't look that bad. I would probably watch it as a rental." If you wonder why people contemplate the death of cinema, it's because of movies like this where not even the throwaway phrase "mindless entertainment" is adequate. The word is "trash".

  • Bradley Robinson

    i may go see it with friends, but it will most likely just be a rental. I liked Sheen and Rex in the 3rd, but I hate that they are playing different characters. Not to mention this looks awful, especially the Honey Boo Boo Joke. I was hoping it was R, and that most of the jokes were too inappropriate to put in the trailer.

  • SmartFilm

    Easy answer: no

  • Nate

    Yes, I will.

  • G-Man

    I'll probably see it - but I have MoviePass, so it doesn't really have a financial impact on me. Honestly, even though I'm not really anticipating Scary Movie 5, it does intrigue me more than a lot of what we got in January / February (I skipped the likes of Identity Thief, Safe Haven, and even Gangster Squad). Maybe it's just out of habit since I've seen the other ones, or because I love the horror genre and am curious to see how they spoof it, even if silly.

    I'll take this one further - does this make me a "bad" movie fan? The truth is that I don't really support studios making new dumb movies like this, even if I'm mildly interested in them and will likely take the time to give some a watch. I'm sort of encouraging bad movies to be made by going to see them, even though I probably won't be very entertained. Maybe this is something you guys can discuss on the podcast.

  • connor420

    NO! I am sick of spoof movies. They are idiotic and without humor.

  • Ryguy815

    I liked the first one, thought the second one was alright, thought the third one was awful, and I thought the fourth one was alright. This honestly looks really bad though, so I will not be wasting my money on this crap and I don't see how anyone else could either.

  • Michael Somers


    • Ryguy815

      Are you being legitimately serious or are you just trolling? Because no offence if your being serious, but it really seems like your trolling.

  • Thornsy

    I don't need to watch the trailer to answer that question. I'll give you a hint, it rhymes with "go".

    • Ryguy815

      Haha, that's funnier than anything that will be in this movie!

  • Michael

    I probably will but the trailers looks so terrible but most trailers are like that and the movies itself turns out to be good for me (some examples: Superbad, Bridesmaids, The Hangover, most Pixar movies) I love the first one & liked the second one (both Wayans Bros flicks), third one was ok and 4th one was pretty good to me. I don't know, man.

  • m1

    Maybe if Lindsay Lohan had gone to jail in the first place and learned from her mistakes, she wouldn't have to star in movies like this.

    • Ryguy815

      Again, that's funnier than any jokes that will be in this piece of crap.

  • Travis

    No. The only thing that made me chuckle were Katt Williams and Charlie Sheen's line, and they were very small chuckles. I liked these movies when I was about 8, but that's it. There were some moments of the first I liked, the second was terrible except one scene, the third I had loved but I saw recently and it was shit (although I liked Simon Rex) and the fourth was terrible period

  • andyluvsfilms

    never, ever, ever will i see this low rate garbage but if you like this sort of thing, i ain't judgin', we's all different

  • Ron Oneal Fresh

    of course not.

    1) It's a sequel to a purposely unfunny franchise.

    2) It "stars" people making fun of themselves when the jokes about them aren't even relevant anymore.

  • Anna

    Brad , to answer your question : NO.
    This trailer looks awful and I wouldn't be surprised if they used the "best" scenes...

  • Criterion10

    It will be a cold day in hell before I ever watch a movie like this...

  • Winchester

    I won't see it in cinemas. I can't promise I'll NEVER watch it if it's on TV down the line and nothing else is on....................

  • Dustin Boland

    I will more than likely go see it. I want to see Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen's scene together more than anything. Hopefully this will be a launching pad to better work for Lindsay. I watch these films for their cameos