'The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1' Review (2011)
Marriage, sex, pregnancy, baby, boredom
Photo: Summit Entertainment
I can't judge the Twilight movies the same way I judge other movies any longer. There is just no way I can give them that kind of respect. They are not movies and this, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1, is even less than half of a movie. This first part of the final chapter in the Twilight Saga is an idea for, at most, 30 minutes of a film. Never before have I seen a movie in which the editing process was ignored to the point we get a dramatic closing of a trash can lid as this sleeping exercise lasts almost two hours.
The cast includes Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner, Ashley Greene, Kellan Lutz, Peter Facinelli, Jackson Rathbone, Nikki Reed, Billy Burke, Elizabeth Reaser, Maggie Grace, Lee Pace, Angela Sarafyan and Justin Chon. For more information on this film including pictures, trailers and a detailed synopsis choose from the following menu.
Review
"The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1" is a Summit Entertainment release, directed by Bill Condon and is rated PG-13 for disturbing images, violence, sexuality/partial nudity and some thematic elements. The running time is 1 hour 55 minutes.
In this fourth installment we begin as Edward the vampire (Robert Pattinson) and Bella the human (Kristen Stewart) are preparing to walk down the aisle. Upon hearing the news, Jacob the werewolf (Taylor Lautner) does as anyone would do in such a situation, he runs out into the pouring rain in a huff, rips off his shirt, transforms into a CG wolf and runs off to the wilds of Canada. Don't worry, he'll come back, they always do.
Meanwhile, the wedding must go on. The honeymoon must happen. And the sexual tension is at an all-time high as Edward must ravish his beautiful bride as the ice cold vampire appears to have enough warm blood left in him to get the job done in a headboard smashing sex scene that actually turns out to be far tamer than the rather gruesome finale that is to come. You see, Edward may be a cold-blooded, dead vampire, but his demon seed swims on and Bella is now preggers.
What? How can this be? Carlisle can this even be possible? The answer is yes, and after Edward's clenched moments of perceived constipation and Googling of "vampire baby", the final 90 or so minutes of this nearly two hour film have us watch as whatever is growing inside Bella begins to eat at her from the inside. News of the baby isn't taken too kindly in the wolf pack however, as Jake's clan have every intention of killing the baby before it can be born. I'm not exactly sure I understood why they wanted to kill the baby, but my guess it's because nothing else was happening so that little plot development was tossed in for fun as a counter to the endless emo rock songs that dominate the canvas.
Boil it all down and Edward and Bella get married, Bella gets pregnant and Bella has a baby. This is to say, what may take up 15 minutes in a normal film now dominates 115 minutes in The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1.
There are, however, moments of sheer screenwriting brilliance (I'm being sarcastic now) such as when Bella describes her thought process when naming the baby, be it a boy or a girl. If it's a boy, she'll name it E.J. "For Edward and Jacob," (duh!) but if it's a girl, she tells us as she looks longingly into Edward's golden eyes, "I've been playing with our mothers' names. Renee and Esme… I came up with Renesmee." Gasp and shudder! That's brilliant! You have been "playing" with names. It's not as if you just put the two names together, you moved the second "e" around. Clever girl, no one will ever get a jump on you.
This "film" is a mess of epic proportions, but it all begins with the story. I have only read the first of Meyer's "Twilight" books so I have no idea how bad things got as the series continued, but to suggest what I watched on screen should be considered and respected as a movie is laughable. Then again, that's what my audience did the majority of the time. They laughed. They laughed at Bella's name game, they laughed at Edward and Bella's awkward moonlight skinny-dipping and they laughed as the members of Jacob's wolf pack attempted to act, particularly Booboo Stewart and Julia Jones, though Stewart and Jones can at least boast far more lines than Jackson Rathbone whose performance got a big chuckle as he got the first of the three words he speaks as the vampire Jasper over an hour into the film.
I wonder what it must be like to read through a script, see you are in several scenes and once you finally have dialogue all you have to say is, "Possibly!" Rathbone's second and final line is two times better, because it's two words, "We're outnumbered!" They couldn't even give him four total, one of the words had to be a contraction. You just have to feel sorry for him at that point.
To give the film a little credit, the effects done on Bella as she slowly withers away into nothing, as the demon spawn in her belly eats away at her, rival the effects done in Captain America when they gave Chris Evans the body of a ten-year-old boy. Although, Bella not only looks like she weighs 45 pounds, her appearance is no better as her cheekbones become visible, her lips crack and her eyes sink back into her skull. It's quality, gruesome work by the effects team.
Otherwise, my praise ends there. More than any of the previous Twilight films, Breaking Dawn – Part 1 was an outright bore. Laughing at uninspired dialogue and cliched marriage quotes such as, "They always say the first year is the hardest," (hardy har har) isn't even enough fun to get you through. If there was ever a film you were meant to talk through entirely this is the one. Audiences should be urged to poke fun at what they see on screen to make the passing time more enjoyable.
Watching Bella and Edward play chess isn't entertaining and laughing as he avoids her because he's scared of hurting her whilst in the throes of sexual passion is only funny for so long. It's one thing to be a bad film, but to be this boring at the same time is just insulting.
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I was bored witless by the first movie never saw any of the rest. but your review is infinitely more fun to read than to sit through this nonsense which you have so aptly described as the biigest con-job in movie making cause that is what it is . and whats worse is that talentless hacks like pattinson are getting work that a more talented bunch deserve.
one more thing though – shouldnt it be throes of passion?
Yes, you're right. Thanks for the heads up, glad you caught it early.
This review is probably one of your funniest. You do enjoy bashing "Twilight", don't you Brad? (Don't worry. I'm up there with you. Although, I AM a bit impressed with the beautiful women they get to star in these movies. I mean, Anna Kendrick. She's HOT. Also, how much screentime does Maggie Grace get?? She's BEAUTIFUL.)
Maggie Grace may have about 60 seconds… maybe.
Yes! Yes! Yes! OMG it’s almost here! Breaking Dawn – Part 1 is going to be huge! I can’t wait!!! I’ll be going on opening night with all my girls! Woooo! :)
ugh
I second that ugh.
Awww Brad i have waiting three long years for a review like this for this series, thank you for finally being the critic that delivered it and thank you for making me laugh with it. From the very beginning I've said the whole series was absurdly idiotic and now the critics are seeing it too.
This review made my day.
this review is epic, i laughed. hard. im glad that even the twilighters laughed, maybe they're finally realizing how ridiculous this entire thing is
For the record, these films do the books justice… If we can call those "books". More like softcore sexual fantasies of a middle-aged housewife…
Brad, you said you don't even consider it a film. So why the D-? Is it because of the effects? I know you don't take the grades that seriously, but you gave When in Rome an F so why not this?
This review was almost as funny as the entire previous film. And let me tell you, that's saying a lot.
Anyone with some sense should know to avoid their local cinemas this weekend. It'll be crawling with girls who use "OMG" & "Wooo" to express how they really feel (see above: Natalie Lancaster). Unfortunately this movie is going to make bank, and that's all the studios care about.
Brad, this review made my day.
"Twilight" is the biggest abomination to filmmaking EVER. It has made media-sensations out of its "actors" (if you can even call them that), "K-Stew", "R-Patz", and Taylor Lautner. The ONLY ONE who has ANY POTENTIAL is Kristen Stewart, who is surprisingly good in the short time (like 15 minutes) in "Into The Wild". I anticipate seeing how she is as the "fairest of them all" in "Snow White and the Huntsman". That looks KICKASS. As for Robert has SOME potential (see "Water for Elephants"), however, Taylor Lautner has proven that he can NOT make a film outside of "Twilight" (see "Abduction").
Straight out to say, "Breaking Dawn" the book was a disaster to the whole franchise. The ridicoulous sex scene, 100 pages of anti-abortion (remove the baby-Bella lives-it's that simple), Jake being stupid and disrupting a wedding, the baby who grows wierdly…this is totally not what should've "ended" the book franchise.
This story obviously should've been about Bella being wild and uncontrollable after being turned. Quess what, she is fine when turned later. Lazy writing at it's worst, and I loved the first three books.
So can't expect a good movie from a bad book. Somehow it went from the first to "Eclipse," which translated as the best of three on screen, and was a great book, to total garbage.
You loved the first three books, and yet you call the fourth one "lazy writing"?
Pot, meet Kettle. By the way, you're both black.
This review was really entertaining. Thanks for that!
I can tell you that things do get REALLY bad as the story progresses in the books. Breaking Dawn was really frustrating to read and I really struggled to get to the massively disappointing finale. Many, many times I almost gave up but somehow managed to get to the end. It'll be interesting to see how they will end the movie because if the ending is the same as in the book it'll be a huge mistake.
Brad,why do you even bother reviewing movies that you know your not gonna like? Why do you encourage others who will not like it to take friends and make fun of it! Just don't go! These movies are not for people like you.
Yes,I saw the movie. Yes I am a fan of the books and even the movies. As a fan I will say that this installment is the best of the four movies! Bill Condon kicked this in the ass!
Go back to your oh so typical bashing!
He can't go back to his "oh so typical bashing", he's already done.
Probably one of the best reviews I've read in a while. Thanks Brad, you made my day.
Hilda, I agree, this movie has been made for the fans and the fans appear to love it. Transformers and the like aren't my movies of choice but I don't spend my time on multiple websites wetting myself with glee at bad reviews. You don't have to watch Breaking Dawn, nobody is holding a gun to your heads forcing you to hand money over, so why are the reviews so full of nastiness? It is tantamount to bullying IMO and I just don't understand why it matters so much to you.
His job is to review movies. He reviewed this one and found it to be seriously lacking. You say the Twilight movies are made for the fans, yet in the review he notes that at the screening he attended even the target audience seemed to be laughing at it. While they would still probably say that they enjoyed the movie, it's clear that even "the fans" recognize that this is a bad movie. They just don't care. Which is fine, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't deserve an objective and honest assessment, as a piece of film making, from the reviewer.
On another note; amazing review. Well done.
Boil it all down and Edward and Bella get married, Bella gets pregnant and Bella has a baby. This is to say, what may take up 15 minutes in a normal film now dominates 115 minutes in The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1.
This is why you'll never be able to view this movie objectively, to the fans these parts are the most important and many fan reviews have said that they wished the wedding and honeymoon could have been longer.
Laughing at uninspired dialogue and cliched marriage quotes such as, "They always say the first year is the hardest,"
This actually foreshadows Edward and Bella's first turbulent months, so for those in the know it would be funny.
As for the wolves, well the least said about them the better, as I skipped those parts in the book.
The wedding, honeymoon and birth are really all that matter.
Whether or not a movie is made for the fans is beside the point. Brad's job is to review films, and as a film, the "Twilight" series is seriously lacking in all forms. Fangirls will love it and people may find enjoyment in the silliness, but that doesn't stop it from being a poorly executed film.
And trust me, I have plenty of friends who are obsessed with these films, and I've had this same conversation with them. They spend hours reading the books, going to all the fan websites, buying t-shirts and magazines, and even THEY will admit that they're not well made films.
This review has epic written all over it
Excellent review, probably the funniest I've read since Sex and the City 2.
I haven't seen it yet, but this has me real worried. The thing with this movie was it DID NOT need to be broken into two parts like HP did. It was a long book, but it wasn't filled with much. At least not enough to warrant breaking it into two, two hour movies. Harry Potter needed it, this was clearly just a money move. I think that half of the problems of this movie would be solved if they had just made it one movie.
Hey brad, just out curiosity, what kept it from getting an F?
He did say that the effects were really good when she is pregnant and dying and stuff. That's the only thing I can think of it being lol
Someone said this above and id like to know as well. If you don't consider this a movie why give it a grade? Awesome review as usual Brad. Im assuming the reason you gave it a D- is because of the "entertainment value" and by that I mean the enjoyment of laughing at this movie's pathetic dialogue and the lack of acting that is taking place.
i'm not a TWILIGHT fan but my little niece is fan so i saw the movie this afternoon with her: it's like the other TWIIGHT movies (as awful in my opinion:story,directing,score,acting)
i just am too old
I thought the movie did movie rather slowly, and i wished the wedding and honeymoon was longer, but there's just too much in the book to fit in these two movies. This movies was awesome, just like all the other ones. i love love stories and that is basically what this is. Love between a mortal and a vampire with all kinds of fighting and discontent going on all throughout the movies. i loved the movie, and i am going to see it again. i'm just a little disappointed because i don't think they got across that rosalie was taking care of bella because she wanted bella to die so she could keep her baby since rosalie couldn't have any. if you didn't read the book, you wouldn't know that. Hurrah for this Twilight movie and i can't wait to see the end of it, i'll be heartbroken when they're finished and there's no more, i'm just sick of people giving rotten reviews to the movies when they are great. i haven't talked to anyone yet who doesn't like it. go to another movie instead and rip that one up.
No man will ever like these movies because no man never likes romantic fantasy movies.
There are not a lot out there.
its funny when i read review to this movies like how the acting was or the lines they have & how long it is but in the end what matter what yall say they are making movies & lots of money! they have lots of fans so what matter what yall say to speak bad about this movie it doesnt matter
twilight rocks!!!
But its still a shit movie. Its fan base is horny young teens and single soccer moms looking for love.
The writing is strictly based on the books, and it is the fans own fault that Summit was forced to stay so loyal to the books that the films lack depth, character development and meaningful dialogue. They had no choice if they wanted to keep their audience and revenues. Books will never work on screen when so literally translated. That's a fact! Now, come on…Twilight is fantasy and, of course, will not make sense if you expect it to…Truth is, Twilight does not need any of the stuff you mentioned in your crappy review. All it needs is Pattinson. And he does not need to speak…or act…or really do anything. Eat your heart out!!!