Movie Review: Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (2009)
I didn't know they made trailers this long
Photo: Universal Pictures
Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant is based on the popular young adult fantasy novels written by Darren Shan, and while I'm not sure how rewarding the books are, the filmed adaptation is an insult to audiences everywhere. In lifeless fashion this film doesn't attempt to tell a worthwhile story and instead acts as a precursor to a franchise that will never exist due to the first film's failings. In short, The Vampire's Assistant is a one hour and 48 minute long commercial for The Vampire's Assistant: Part II. They better dust off the shelves at the abandoned franchise library as this one is destined to rest alongside other busted franchise starters such as Eragon and The Golden Compass.
The cast includes John C. Reilly, Salma Hayek, Ken Watanabe, Willem Dafoe, Josh Hutcherson, Chris Massoglia, Patrick Fugit, Orlando Jones, Frankie Faison, Colleen Camp, Don McManus and Ray Stevenson. For more information on this film including pictures, trailers and a detailed synopsis choose from the following menu.
Review
"Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant" is a Universal Pictures release, directed by Paul Weitz and is rated PG-13 for sequences of intense supernatural violence and action, disturbing images, thematic elements and some language. The running time is 1 hour 48 minutes.
Darren becomes the assistant to a vampire played by John C. Reilly who looks about as bored as I felt, and who can blame him? For what it's worth nothing more happens outside of a CGI blob fight in an abandoned theater, Salma Hayek with a beard and a girl with a monkey tail. It's an exercise of excess without substance. To say anything ever happens in this film would be to insinuate we've never seen someone become a vampire on film before. It's territory that continues to be tread with hardly a beat skipped as each rendition tweaks the legend ever so slightly in an attempt to become unique. "True Blood" does more in 15 minutes than this film does in 108. I would even prefer to endure Twilight a second time before being bored stiff by this mess again.
Director Paul Weitz has some considerable hits under his belt with the likes of American Pie and About a Boy and even In Good Company — while suffering from the lack of a final payoff — was at least entertaining along the way. This film features good vampires, bad vampires, a wolfman and a snake boy and never once entertains outside of a couple of mild chuckles provided by Ken Watanabe as Mr. Tall.
At all costs avoid this lazy film that hopes to cash in on the current vampire craze without even trying in hopes it will propel itself high enough to warrant a sequel, which will most likely never happen even though it probably holds the meat of the story that should have been told here.
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oh no! Patrick Fugit got dragged into this? sad times.
Having not read the books, I just rented the movie and loved it. The acting was dead on, dialogue great, set and costumes gorgeous. People need to get over their fave books being changed in the movie versions. I've read Twilight, HP, His Dark Materials, Stardust and have been happy with the movies with the exception of the horrible direction and script of the first Twilight.
That said. I will buy all the Cirque books and hope they continue with the series. John C. Riley kicks ass, as did everyone else. Not knowing anything about the books I found the flow, pacing and plot easy to follow as did the variety of aged kids I watched it with (7-15 year olds). So, I have no idea what was "a mess" unless your referring changes from the book to screen.
For this genre, I thought it was extremely well done!
I agree, I just rented the movie myself and I hope they have not shelved plans for a sequel. The movie was great fun to watch. Plus it left me with many questions about Darren's future. It was a great movie I have to disagree with the review it was given on this site I give the movie an A-. The minus because it seemed to try to put too much story in a limited amount of time.
I loved the books and i think john c riley is dead on as his character and so is josh hutcherson but the monkey girl isn't even in the books!they strayed way to far from the storyline and try to fit 3 books into one movie! but i do want a sequel just to see how it plays out on the screen and what they will do with the useless monkey girl
I am this movie's biggest fan and even I think it's a mess most of the time.
I am probaly the biggest fan of cirque du freak and the movie was somewhat good the only part that really got me was when Steve and darren battled because they weren't suppose to fight yet at all but still it a good movie
yeh i no they might have spoiled other movies when they make more necause they're not even meant to no that steve has joined the vampaneze thats like book 7 or around there and hes not vampaneze yet in that book he hadnt turned loved the movie but they might have stuffed up for future movies because they changed the books too much
Yea I agree. I have read the books too and they dont fight till way later in the books. so what up with that????? I still liked the movie, but who ever produced it needs to get their act together and if I was darren shan I would be disapointed!
i agree with you, because steve doesnt come out again until the 8th book,i luved the movie! it was just nothing like the books!
they show'd steve and darren fighting in case there was no sequal they wanted it to have an ending
I'd rather watch "Twilight," too. Twilight is at least absolutely hilarious, though it isn't meant to be. I have a thing for love stories that are completely ludicrous but told with absolute sincerity, and Twilight fills the bill, along with Star Wars Ep. II. And they're the only ones that manage both so spectacularly.
But as for "Cirque du Freak"? I'm bored already, and that's just reading what it's about. Count me out.
really, the twilight saga SUX! this movie is pretty good. i had hoped it'd have more detail and that it followed the script of the books, but honestly saying Twilight is better? that's the most horrible thing u could say about it lol
I liked the movie it was great no body should judge it like this. Its a great movie and everyone should go see it. I likes it and i hope they do a second movie
Let’s face it this movie was never going to match the book but that was the same story with the Harry potter series and look how successful those movies have been .As I have read the whole Series I can also tell you that the first few books are the least exciting so just give universal a chance to redeem its self with the more exciting books .Apart from that this film respectively is not aimed at your age grope where as “twilight” and “true blood” are so maybe in the future you should keep to your own age group . In my opinion this film may not be the best film of the year but has lade the foundations for the much more exciting sequel very well.
exactly. i much prefered the vampire rites and vampire destiny trilogies to the vampire blood. but that was purely because the first three were glorified character development descriptions. when they get to the next trilogy it will be MUCH better
really i thought the opposite i loved the first 2 trilogies then it slowly went down hill still great books though only series ive read the whole of
this movie is bad if you have not read at least the first four in the series if you have you will understand alot more and know all about the movie and love it but the interviewer did not read the series so she should read it then interview the movie for it to be fair I have read each book in the series and after watching the movie i give it a B
this movie was confusing, if you didnt read the books. ill admit they screwed a few things up, they should have done it exactly like the book is. this movie was still good but you must hace read the series of the saga to fully understand and like it just like a few others said, just wait for a sequel and give a chance another thing just read the books!!!
if ud done it EXACTLY to script it would've been boring. but i agree it should've been to script. they didn't even mention Debbie which i was very upset about :(
the movie stunck and i mean stunck the book was great
WHERE DO U even gett the book ?????? im clueless
from the library
this was a good movie and shouldent be compared to the stupid twilight siries in any way because the book was written before twililight and the movie was filmed before twilight and if your going to comapre you should atleast know all you facts.
baka.
movie was good definately not as good as the books but if they dont make a sequel they are idiots the best part is coming up next
inoe they should make a second one cuz its gonna bug me intill i see it
I have never read the books and I still liked the movie and hope they make more. It was 10 times better the wast of space twilight movie give me more like this what vampire sparkles in the sun fuck that
This movie completely sucked. I mean since I'm a fan of the book series, I thought that the movie completely slaughtered the story. But even when I look at the movie from the point of view of someone who has never read the books the movie still sucks. Everything happens too fast and it has a cheap, plastic, and childish feel to it.
once u read the fucken book u already noe wats gonna happen so u cant see the movie from a point of view of someone who hasnt read the book cuz u already have. its ur own fucken fault
This movie is both good and bad. It was loosely based on the books which may have disappointed the many fans. It was very quick to get through 3 books which I think wasn't a good idea what so ever.
I like it because the books are very well written and I find the movie funny. It seems to have good sales. The first week it came out in Ukraine, it went to number 1.
This movie would have been better had they not have crammed 3 books into such a short time.
they were probably trying to follow in the footsteps of a series of unfortunate events. but that kind of wrecked it. but to be honest, i think if they're gonna make a sequel they should hurry up
YES . YES THEY SHOULD
i think that the books were better than the film but i still think that this film was way better than what you said it was like. I thought the film was great because the it added comedy to the book.
i slightly agree i loved the movie and parts of the comedy were good others werent so much in australia it didn't have great sales me and my friends put it down to poor advertising we literally had to find out about the movie on the internet it wasnt advertised at the movies or tv at all
snake boys kind of cute, he reminds me of someone but i can't put my hand on it. all i know is that he was in a movie called The Amatures of something? a group of people who decide to mack a porno [lmao] so i looked up the cast of that movie and found out his name, which it says up in the picture, Patrick Fugit. he's a cutie:p
@yami: Ya, The Amatures. Funny, Patrick Fugit plays Evra.
That movie was awesome! Darren and Steve were both hot and i read all the books after i saw the movie the books r better than the movie though
IKR DARREN AND STEVE WERE SOO FUCKEN SEXII!!!!!!
i like the movie better than twilight…..
i read both twilight saga and vampire assistant's novel…
for me, twilight more focusing on romance while Cirque du Freak is more about the fantasy and magical world……
i hope they are making sequel…..
i hope people wont compare the movie with other vampire's story like true blood and vampire diaries since the Cirque du Freak are more focusing on teen and kid….
Deadly movie its gonna be sequels galour because its only gonna get better
was australia the only place that didn't get lots of people seeing the movie because it wasnt that popular here
This movie was really good the sequel will be even better though
All in all i would give three out of five rating. It was a bit dry at times, a bit weird, and a bit "off" in general (can't really explain it) – but otherwise it was okay. It could have been more in depth and it could have been a bit better acted, could have flowed a bit better too.
But given that this was number one of who knows how many, i can completely understand the short comings – many multi part movies or long television shows are a bit off to begin with but pull together as things progress.
I try not to compare movies and books to one another – they're never going to be exactly the same and liberties are ALWAYS taken. I do agree that if you go into the movie with the mindset it will be exactly like the book, you WILL be disappointed – but if you go into the movie without having read the book or without comparing you may like it better.
i am this movies number 1 fan i could watch it 100 times and i still would not get bored and now i want to be a vampire.
great movie
this movie was gr8.. i red all the books though so it was nice. they changed alot though. I like the books but they better make the sequel. i wanna c darren becoming a vampire prince :D
true i wanna see vampire mountain to and the tasks he has to do to become recognised by other vampires
You can't always listen to the critics, the really critis are us.This movie was a good and had a decent adaptation to the books.There needs to be a sequel now that a first one has been made and now that millions of die-hard fans like me are expecting….. no demanding a second movie. If their must be changes, just find a more versitile and experianced director than Paul Weitz, he was not a good choice. Making the next Cirque Du Freak movies will just make the franchise better, tell Hollywood to get to work on those sequels.Giv the people what they want and DON'T DISSAPOINT US!!!!!!!!
So I was honestly disappointed in this movie, umm.. I wish i wasn't so upset by how it turned out, but i'm sure if i watched this again without having read the books first i would have liked it. I found the book to be a lot better, though that happens often for many people. Going back and looking at the movie again without even taking the books into consideration makes the movie a little bit more enjoyable.
me too
i really liked the movie and thought it was really good…they shud really make a part two like really i wud love to see how the movie plays out…since i have never read the books
ive read the whole series of books and i thought that even thought the movie kind of missed out bits of the first three books, you expect that with any movie that was a book originally so i loved the movie and i hope they make a sequel :)
x
ME TOO
I have never read the books cause I have never heard of them which is odd cause I love vampire books/movies. Anyway I thought I'd give the movie a try and it kinda had a slow almost b budget kinda movie start but picked up and turned out to be a really good movie. I'm excited to see if they make a part two because I'm sure it will be even better.
First off let me just say that i dont care if this comment is deleted or not second whoever wrote this review should go fuck themselves with a stick of dynamite and then jump of a bridge. This movie was actually a very good one and people should stop hating on the smaller films just because it wasn't some big ass budget movie with extreme visuals and shit doesn't make it a bad movie and I for one hope they do make a sequal and it will i bet it will make so much money that they will make third and a fourth if possible and then you will see it and shit yourself cause you wrote a bogus ass review about the first one.
U ARE DAMN RIGHT I AGREE WIT EVERYTHING U SAY … DAMN RIGHT!
omg wat r u on about this was a great film and i really hope they make a film for all the books they are great and thats only your oppinion mine is that it wasnt exactly like the books but it was a brilliant film beacause it had action and evenhad comedy in so i think they should make alot more films and even if it wasnt successful fans of the books would want to see the films to see wat they are like on film so bring out more and dont listen to this crap review!
I totally agree with u! And i'm too lazy to read the books so I want to kno what happensnext cuz it ended so suddenly.
I doubt anyone will read my comment but I must say the movie was both good and bad all of u are judging this movie by the standards of somthing like lord of the rings or star wars or Harry potter, this movie is not in the class of those movies obviosly but u can never judge a movie by the book it was based upon that will just make u hate the movie in the first ten min of the flick and this movie yes is in the same class as eragon and the goldon compass but those movies were both good movies not great bt not horrible the problem is like me u read he book first and that is what ur judging upon I'd give the movie a "B" on cenima content but a "C" on story line.. Try watching the movie and act as though u had never read the book and then write a review
I agree with you the book are really good but the movie is good too. I mean, i read the lightning thief series and hated the movie too, but my friends loved it because the hadn't read the book. Movies are never as good as the books but the movies are sometimes good too. I know the movie was totally different form the books but it was good, and some younger kids want to watch these movies too and you can't have all the gory stuff in the books so i know a lot of you out there hate the movie but please don't, because i like both and you are just weird. I mean my i got in trouble because of my ranting about the lightning thief series.
i didnt like that they made the vampire generals look like wusses. i also didn't think it made sense that Murlough killed Vincent and somehow it didn't cause a war (considering the original truce). but i liked the humour in the story and considering i luv josh hutcherson more than i luv life, i had to like it at least a bit! lol. i also thought they captured Darren's family well. although they completely messed up the school teacher (who is meant to favour Steve) and the transformation into a vampire
i find it stupid how they made the war caused on murloughs death it wasnt meant to be it was meant to be just mr crepsley killed murlough on his terms not the vampires so it wasnt meant to have started the war
also i found it sort of wierd that govener general and mr crepsley started the not draing humans blood theyre meant to be young compared to other vampires it was meant to have started ages ago before they were alive
THANK YOU!!! This film was a sad pathetic excuse and i felt that they were just trying to cash in on the vampire craze. I Read tho whole series and this was like a slap in the face to me. Darren Shan is one of my favorite authors and i really hope they don't try this crap with The Demonata Series because this was really an embarrassment to both Darren and Paul. Please dear god don't let that happen. The irony of this movie was the fact that i myself am currently in school to become a director and i felt the view he took was just way to upbeat and happy. I myself wanted to direct this movie after i read it and felt that the mood should have been way darker. In conclusion go f**k yourselves if you don' like my opinion.
This film was rather…… well it takes boring away no?But your not exactly on the edge of your seat. I agree this movie needs to be darker; scarier, for it is too childish! We need minor gore? And the spider sucked balls. It needed to be larger and much more menancing….
WHY DONT U JUS FUCK URSELF WITH A BUNCH OF SHIT CUZ THATS WATS CUMING OUT OF UR MOUTH AND U ARE SHITTT!!!
i think they should have included debbie and they should have made it at least 3 hours long.
I loved this movie and I dont' care what anyone says about it. I think this si way better than twilight, and i'm obsessed with it! And I also didn't read the books so that might explain some things.
Ok I think the movie was ok, but from the point of view of someone who has read the books a loved them, I am utterly disappointing by it. I know they change things, but they changed waaaay to much!!!! NONE of the characters are right, the plot sucks, and it's kinda just boring. They took a amazing book and ruined it. I don't even see how a sequel is possible! And even if this was successful, I don't think any fan of the books wants the movie to become way over commercialized like many other books made into movies had become. I know I was kinda harsh but I just hate how they made the movie is comparison to the books.
i know what you are saying but were they left the movie they should make a sequel for the people who have not read the books. But your right the books were AWESOME!
I loved the movie. the only problem I had With It is that it kinda rushed in the beginning. I really hope they make a sequel cause if they don't then the this movie would have been a waste. It was like an introduction to the sequel. But I give the movie a A+. Plus all the actors fit the characters which was good.
Yea I agree with you too. They should make a sequel.
alrite film. bad adaptation
i have to say that i loved this movie. and i really hope there is a second one. and the jurk who wrote such a bad review is CRAZY!!!!!! :)
also there has to be a second one cuz with the ending this one had its gonna bug me if i dont now the ending u could of jus put everything into one big movie thats lyk 3 hours long. PLEASE MAKE ANOTHER MOVIE!!!!!!!!!
Yea, i think there should defiantly make a second movie!
I saw the movie first not knowing there was books, but I've started reading the books and there awesome. I love the Movie and think they should make a sequel. I love the books more, but i think the movie was cool too. And i don't like people saying it was bad because it really wasn't.
I honestly thought the movie was amazing (:
i really want a squeal , even if i have to write a screenplay myself . i have read the books and honestly WANT TO SEE IT IN A MOVIE !!!!!
i'm reading the books first and then imma watch the movie!!
i'm in love w/ Darren Shan!!!!!!!
but what happened to him was sooo sad.
ok, first I heard of the movie than found out that there were books .I got the movie right after i found out than wated until the updated 2010 cover books were sold in stores. I have onley read the first 3 books and seriously hope that they make more movies to tell the hole story. The movie was AWSOME, come on people who did not like the movie . In conclusion every thing Cirque Du Freak is F'ing AWWWWSOOOOMMMMME
the whole idea with films based on books is that they are just BASED on the book. if a director tried to fit everything from the books into the movie then the movie would be too long.I personally saw the film before i read the books. i enjoyed the film and feel the acting was awesome, it is so easy to overact in these type of things and the actors didn't. as for the sequel it should go ahead, the fans need to see what is gonna happen to Darren, Crepsley and co.
Darren Would be proud half of you r just jealous u couldnt do this good if theres not a sequel because u ill be pissed
I really enjoyed watching this movie.I loved all actors and plot in general.Hope there is a part II coming soon!
I am so sick of everyone accusing Cirque Du Freak of conforming to the "vampire craze." Let's get our facts strait. The first book of the Cirque Du Freak series was published in 2000 in Britain. Than in 2004 in the United States. Twilight was not published until 2005. The only reason that Twilight made a movie before The Cirque Du Freak series was because every little girl and all their little friends HAD to read the Twilight series, therefore it was much more popular, therefore there was more money to put towards making a better movie sooner. Cirque Du Freak was not noticed in the United States until after the "craze started" because than half the people who read twilight and actually like books said "oh hey another vampire book." You can badmouth the movie, but DO NOT bring that god awful movie Twilight into this. The Vampires Assistant was 73465873648573645 times more entertaining than watching "Bella" blink a million times and tell Edward she loves him.
For the record. I read the Cirque Du Freak series (all twelve books) AND THAN, I read the Twilight series.
sorry for the novel comment. It's my favorite book and movie.
This is my favourite book series ever, the movie was good but dissapointed me as of the lack of faithfullness to the original story line, first vampaneze = Purple skin, second no monkey girl, third only full vampires can flit, fourth Mr Tiny does not take sides in the story at all when in the film it is clearly portrayed as he sides with the vampaneze, Fifth no debbie = no human alliance with the vampires later on in the story. the movie was good as a movie not a reindition of a book
You people say you've read the book. But if you had read it properly you would see how off the movie is. Steve is suppost to be scary not Josh what's-his-face. He is not scary at all. Also, during the series, Steve has a kid with Darren's sister, Annie. I think if he captured her they cannot have a kid. Evra is competely off he doesn't looks remotely like a Snake and does not want to play the guitar. They also left out a liked character, Sam, AND a main Vampaneze, RV. The thing that is the worst is that the ages are SO off. Darren and Steve are suppost to be 10 in the begining NOT 16. This movie is so bad, it CANNOT have a second movie because it will be about nothing. After all, there is about 5 minutes of the movie that is part of the book. THIS MOVIE IS HORRIBLE COMPARED TO THE BOOK. Trust me. That is all I have to say.
I've never read the books I saw the Movie on HBO or some station like that and thought it was hilariously awesome. It was interesting and had some great funny moments and most important, we got to see vampires ACTING LIKE VAMPIRES: drinking blood, staying out of the sun, sleeping in coffins, and definitely NOT sparkling like some stupid emo disco ball. How could anyone give it a D? Some of the special effects sucked (like the wolfman) but other than that it was a pretty good ride. A-
The book series was to short at least I think so I finished it in one week.