Movie Reviews

'Guardians of the Galaxy' (2014) Movie Review

Boredom set in early, surprises kept at a minimum as the talking tree and raccoon are the best parts

Guardians of the Galaxy movie review
Photo: Marvel / Disney

Marvel is tangentially moving their Cinematic Universe deep into the cosmos with Guardians of the Galaxy, and director James Gunn has definitely created something that seems wholly separate from The Avengers franchise of movies, but different doesn't mean better. In fact, boredom set in early and only a few chuckles here and there sustained me for the duration.

I never felt a tinge of excitement. The story is nothing more than a "to do" list as we bounce across the galaxy, meeting this person and that being, moving from Xandar to Knowhere, for the first hour or so before we finally realize that's all this is, a means of establishing a few characters, acquiring a MacGuffin and preparing for the next inevitable step in the story. Worst of all, this is a movie about waiting around to see what happens next, because it isn't long before you know what's going to happen, and what I saw did little for me.

'Guardians of the Galaxy'
Review
Grade: D+

Guardians of the Galaxy"Guardians of the Galaxy" is a Walt Disney Pictures release, directed by and is rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, and for some language. The running time is .

The cast includes , , , , , , , , , , , , , and .

For more information on this film including pictures, trailers and a detailed synopsis .

While 99% of the movie takes place beyond Earth's solar system, the opening is set on our blue marble. It's 1988 and a young Peter Quill stands by his mother's hospital bed as life leaves her body. He screams and runs outside only to be abducted by an alien spacecraft. Flash forward 26 years later, Quill (Chris Pratt), now a "ravager", is on a desolate planet, listening to an audio cassette on his Walkman and dancing to Redbone's "Come and Get Your Love". And so it begins...

Quill is searching for a mysterious orb, for which he will be paid handsomely, but just after acquiring the object he's confronted by a man named Korath (Djimon Hounsou) and his minions. Before they can take Quill into custody he manages to escape, with the orb, and flees the planet in his ship unharmed.

Enter Yondu (Michael Rooker), a fellow ravager and the man responsible for abducting Quill as a child. Quill has gone rogue, searching for the orb on his own in an attempt to collect 100% of the reward and Yondu is none-too-pleased. Meanwhile, the bad guy, Ronan (Lee Pace), wants the orb so he can destroy a planet and sends Gamora (Zoe Saldana), adopted daughter of Thanos (Josh Brolin), to get Quill and the orb while Nebula (Karen Gillan), Gamora's sister, sits on the sidelines biding her time.

Next we learn, Yondu has placed a bounty on Quill's head, which brings the sentient tree Groot (voiced by Vin Diesel) and his partner, the genetically altered raccoon Rocket (unrecognizably voiced by Bradley Cooper), into the picture as they attempt to capture Quill and collect. That gets messed up when Gamora enters the picture (her motives apparently not all they originally seem) and the whole group ends up in intergalactic prison.

You with me so far? Because this is just the beginning. I have yet to mention Drax (Dave Bautista) and how Quill, Gamora, Groot, Rocket and Drax eventually team up to save the galaxy from Ronan's plan to carry out whatever other bad things come to mind. Oh yeah, and Benicio del Toro shows up for about two minutes, playing The Collector, while John C. Reilly and Glenn Close play Xandar military officials. However, we're not meant to care or even really know any of these characters other than the central five so I won't bore you with any more of their story.

As for the central five, Pratt did nothing for me as Quill, whose constant sarcasm is so routine there's rarely any comedy in it and the role just doesn't fit him, which I can't tell is as a result of the tonal imbalance every scene encounters or the fact he's just not intergalactic leading man material. Oh, and there's a big "mystery" surrounding who Quill really is and when I say "mystery" I mean, once again, you know who he is and we'll just have to wait and see it all play out in the sequel.

The casting of Saldana seems too on-the-nose following Star Trek and Avatar, as she mechanically sleepwalks through each and every scene as if very little she's doing interests her, and Bautista as Drax is a nightmare with about as little charisma as an actor can exhibit.

Things improve, however, with both Groot and Rocket. It's an unlikely duo and Groot's vocabulary involves saying, "I am Groot", which, depending on Groot's inflection, Rocket can interpret whatever Groot is "saying". Rocket, on the other hand, is a fireball of anger and frustration and most of the time rather funny. These two are not only the movie's comic relief, they are the only reason the entirety of the movie's two hours are worth watching. I would get in line to watch a movie starring only Rocket and Groot, but I never have the intention of watching Guardians of the Galaxy again.

To be fair, I should add that I enjoyed scenes involving Gillan as Nebula. While Ronan is clearly nothing but a super-duper "kill everyone" bad guy and Nebula's sister, Gamora, the orphaned child turning against her adoptive father, Nebula seems to have a little something more to her and perhaps that's because we only get glimpses of what that may be. It also doesn't hurt Gillan gives a better performance in a limited amount of screen time. Her character is definitely evil, but you almost cheer and feel sorry for her at the same time.

Beyond that, the special effects are fantastic, the work done on Groot and Rocket is top notch and the overall visuals are impeccable. Alternatively, I absolutely couldn't stand the musical choices as they never felt relevant to the story, instead as kitschy pieces meant to serve as winks to the audience rather than actual artistic choices as if to say, "We're going to make this a little sillier so you know not to take any of this too seriously and just have fun with it." I can appreciate the sentiment, but it didn't add to my enjoyment, it only added to my annoyance, especially considering the two most ridiculous aspects of the movie -- the talking tree and raccoon -- were the very best parts, silly or otherwise.

Guardians of the Galaxy is bland, holding absolutely zero surprises. The only questions being which song from the '70s will be used next and when will the showdown with Ronan take place so the credits can roll? I, however, know I am on the outside looking in when it comes to this opinion. As bored as I was, laughing only periodically at something Rocket said or Groot did, my audience was fully enraptured, clapping at scenes in the middle of the movie and wholly caught up in the entire thing. Different strokes for different folks I suppose, and I do hope audiences get more enjoyment out of it I did.

GRADE: D+
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  • Frank

    Really says a lot about your feelings about the Phase 2 Marvel Movies. I remember you saying that Phase 2 has to be better than 1. From your reviews, it seems like it is just as bad, if not worse.

  • Pop Ninjas

    eh', I'll hold out to see it to pass judgement. If anything, I've found Brad to typically dislike these types of films, which is fine, to each their own. I thought Cap 2 was the best Marvel flick sans Avengers and what did you give it...a C? I gave it an A, so with this logic, if Guardians lands at a B in my head, I'm happy.

    • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Newbourne/ Newbourne

      I loved Cap 2 and hated Avengers. Brad loved Avengers and hated Cap 2. You loved them both. It's amazing how we all perceive things so differently.

      • iscmarkiemark

        Same here. Then again I never agree with Brads comic book reviews. Can't believe the latest Transformers got a C and this a D+. Then again to each his own...

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/maja/ maja

    That's too bad that Batista isn't a good actor - I was hoping that a Hollywood career would keep him out of the WWE.

    • http://crimsondude.tumblr.com James Meiers

      Drax is an antisocial asshole. From the way Brad describes him, it seems like Bautista nailed the character perfectly.

      • Steven Hayhurst

        Totally agree James, Bautista played the part perfectly in my opinion, and I for one cannot wait for a sequel :)

        • http://crimsondude.tumblr.com James Meiers

          Having seen the movie, my expectation was proved correct. He was perfect as Drax.

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Adu/ Adu

    Well that sucks...I'm somewhat hopeful considering I felt Winter Soldier was probably the best Marvel movie to date. A talking Racoon and alien tree are the most alluring aspects for me after reading your review.

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Winchester/ Winchester

    I guess I'll see when I see it.

    No point pretending on the Blockbuster front at minimum (and particularly on the Marvel films) it's become clear to me over time what Brad likes I often tend to disregard and vice versa. Of course I do have the luxury of being able to pick and choose what to watch more. So, I'll likely find it more enjoyable personally.

  • http://www.ohbrotherwhereartthougifts.com andyluvsfilms

    I'm still fairly keen to see it but it has everything to do with Sci-Fi and nothing to do with Marvel.

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/kylejames182/ kyle coley

    Oh wow

  • http://startkyleorton.blogspot.com Iggins!

    I appreciate the level-headedness of the review. Though that grade is sure to upset those that choose not to actually read!

    • http://moviefail.com/ kimonoko

      The grade makes sense with the review, but having just seen the film last night, I couldn't disagree more with the reasoning. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I fundamentally disagree with each and every point made here. Even his praise of Karen Gillan seems contrary to what I saw; while she is certainly adequate, she has almost no screentime and is easily overshadowed by the rest of the cast.

      Anyway, I guess we'll see what audiences think when this hits wide release.

      • SupreMe83

        I agree. I watched last night. This guy seems to just not have enjoyed or understood what was going on. When you glance over plot and story taking place and call it all "people moving from one place to another" you really are not even trying to keep up with what is happening. The authors entire attitude sounds like he did not want to watch this and has basically labeled everything as not worthy of his attention. He wrote off secondary characters, labels things as mcguffins all because he lacks attention span. no waxing forth in pseudo cinema speak saying that "scenes were imbalanced" is going to hide that fact the author of this article is just being a cynical hipster asshole and didn't want to see the movie so has written of the entire tale scene by scene ignoring most of what was being shown and calling it bad

        • Huzaif Mistry

          You are correct. He's made it no secret in his reviews that he doesn't like the comic book movie genre. I wouldn't say he's an asshole because he's got his own opinion, but I've just stopped reading his reviews now.

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Hudsucker/ Hudsucker

    I'm probably still gonna see this, but I'm glad to hear that Gillan was good. Big fan of hers ever since she was on Doctor Who.

    • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Chris/ Chris

      I thought she was pretty weak to tell the truth. Her character is kind of pointless.

  • Guthrie

    Oh well

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/TheLastEquivocationofBrist/ Michael

    Good thing Boyhood starts the same weekend. Guardians sounds like a rental, so I can tune out during the parts that drag.

    • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Newbourne/ Newbourne

      I watched Boyhood opening night. What do you mean it starts that weekend?

      • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/TheLastEquivocationofBrist/ Michael

        I don't live in New York or Los Angeles.

        • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Newbourne/ Newbourne

          Ah, I didn't know the limited release was that small.

    • JeffMc2000

      I'd consider checking out some other reviews before writing off Guardians. Every review on the site (until this one gets posted) is positive.

      • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/TheLastEquivocationofBrist/ Michael

        It doesn't start this weekend anyway so I have time to think about it :) Boyhood is definitely a higher priority though, even if Guardians becomes the first movie to defy the laws of mathematics and get 200% on RT.

  • http://www.moviebearspodcast.com Movie Bear

    Hey. Don't despair, Marvel fans... It's still a half grade better than The Purge: Anarchy. That's something, right?

  • Batmanfanboy

    What a joyless moron hack of a critic. This film is getting unanimous praise, review is nothing but click-bait. He also didn't like Winter Soldier, one of the best genre flicks in the last decade. Get bent, loser.

    • http://twitter.com/pmachados Pedro

      lolol

    • Xarnis

      Especially with a name like "Batmanfanboy," your comment seems to be more akin to "bait" than this review

      • Batmanfanboy

        How so? It only proves that even though I love Batman I can appreciate that Marvel has pulled off the impossible with this film and made one of the great scifi films of all time(I've seen it, it's amazing)

        • http://www.twitter.com/GregDinskisk GregDinskisk

          The way you phrased that makes me wonder how many sci-fi films you've seen...

        • http://www.twitter.com/GregDinskisk GregDinskisk

          ... because it sounds like you haven't seen a whole lot...

          • Batmanfanboy

            It's about as good as Serenity and Star Wars A New Hope.. so there goes that argument

            • http://www.twitter.com/GregDinskisk GregDinskisk

              Hahahahhahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahah

            • http://www.twitter.com/GregDinskisk GregDinskisk

              Yes because one of those is a fantasy film (Star Wars) and the other one is fine, but not considered to be one of the best in most peoples minds who know sci-fi, but whatever, my argument goes, apparently.

            • Xarnis

              how bout Blade Runner? Or Alien? Or AlienS?

              • Batmanfanboy

                Not as good as Blade Runner.. or the first two Alien movies. It's on par with the greatest of the lighter scifi movies. Clearly the themes and content aren't heavy enough to stand up to those monumental flicks.

              • http://www.twitter.com/GregDinskisk GregDinskisk

                What about Solaris or Primer or The Fly or Videodrome or Metropolis?

              • Batmanfanboy

                None of those either...

              • http://www.twitter.com/GregDinskisk GregDinskisk

                so it's not really a great then, that was just a bunch of hyperbole?

              • Batmanfanboy

                No it's like in the top 30 though!! SERIOUSLY... Under Wrath of Khan... but ahead of Galaxy Quest!

              • http://www.twitter.com/GregDinskisk GregDinskisk

                WHOA THAT'S SO HIGH

              • http://filmemignon.blogspot.com/ Corbin

                If I could get an official ranked list, that would be great.

              • JeffMc2000

                What kind of test is this? How hard is it to have seen most major sci-fi movies?

              • http://www.twitter.com/GregDinskisk GregDinskisk

                Kind of. The kind of test to see if he knows anything he's saying when he calls it one of the greatest.

        • http://twitter.com/pmachados Pedro

          So... you're saying taste is objective?

        • ⌬ Major Omniscient ⌬

          My #1 rule in life is always listen to fanboys. They are the most objective, intelligent people on the planet.

          • http://thebioscopist.com TheBioscopist

            # Comment of the Thread/Week #

        • Xarnis

          any name with the word "fanboy" is almost an instant drop in credibility – because (usually) a "fan boy" is a person with an extremely one-sided view of something, and they get mad when someone doesn't like what they do... even when the criticisms may be perfectly valid.

          and why would your love of Batman bear any influence on enjoying a Marvel movie? I don't think that anyone who loves Batman would be dead set against a Marvel movie...

          • Batmanfanboy

            Judging a book by its cover are we? Wow maybe the name is supposed to be ironic.. something lost on you apparently

            • Xarnis

              my original comment was a joke... but evidently my judgment was mostly correct.

    • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/kylejames182/ kyle coley

      How is that suppose to make me feel?

    • http://www.twitter.com/GregDinskisk GregDinskisk

      Yeah Brad!!! Get bent! LOSER!

      Y'know I've never understood that expression. "Get bent." Like bend your arm? Also, what decade are you from?

      • Batmanfanboy

        It means get bent over .. as in get bent over for the reviewers dick because he just assraped you with stupidity

        • http://twitter.com/pmachados Pedro

          You're really mad huh?

        • Xarnis

          ok now that just dropped your credibility even further

        • http://www.twitter.com/GregDinskisk GregDinskisk

          Will you love me

          • Batmanfanboy

            Yes

            • http://www.twitter.com/GregDinskisk GregDinskisk

              that sucks

        • http://filmemignon.blogspot.com/ Corbin

          You're Guardians of the Galaxy: the person, aren't you?

        • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/kieran/ Kieran

          Whooooooooooaaa. Hey now.

    • BradFanManChild

      Your mom is click-bait.

      • Batmanfanboy

        That's cute.. this simpleton reviewer has an army of douchebags who bow at his feet.. wow what a surprise lol. You guys are too much. Why don't you guys check out Rottentomatoes where this film has 100% and then get back to me. This shit is better than The Avengers

        • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/TheLastEquivocationofBrist/ Michael

          With like 9 reviews so far out of the hundreds that will be coming, yeah.

          • JeffMc2000

            In fairness there are currently 19 reviews up. That sets it up to be in the same category as The Avengers when all is said and done, which was also at 19% when the first rotten review hit, and which ended up in the 90-something per cent range.Which is pretty good for any movie.

          • http://www.kabooooom.com/ Chris Stephenson

            25 now. And climbing. Also, for some reason Brad nor ROS is a RT critic, so this won't be counted. Wonder why?

        • http://thebioscopist.com TheBioscopist

          In statistics you need to reach something called a general consensus, which as Michael just said is currently not met, considering only 9 reviews are in. The percentage will trend towards the final figure in roughly 1 week.

          • Batmanfanboy

            Wow nerd alert lol

            • http://www.twitter.com/GregDinskisk GregDinskisk

              hahahahahahahhah

            • http://thebioscopist.com TheBioscopist

              Let me help you out bud....you're clearly just a kid, so I'll take the time to explain what you're doing wrong here. Firstly - Just because you disagree with a critic's review of film, doesnt mean you start calling them a "joyless moron hack of a critic." If you like the film - I am amusing you've seen it somehow - why not kindly explain what you think you enjoyed about the film and write your own grade in the comments. Discussing film over here is not meant to be treated like a Red vs. Blue political debate. Each person is going to have a personal take on a film, regardless of what the majority are saying. Life is not about convincing every person you meet to like what you like or hit the highway. Stop trying to be a bull in a china shop and have more constructive discussions. If you can do that you'll be welcome here.

        • https://twitter.com/delaney_david David Delaney

          You're on fire brother. Keep it up!

        • BradFanManChild

          Your mom is 100% Fresh.

        • http://filmemignon.blogspot.com/ Corbin

          9 people have posted their reviews on RT. Avengers has 301 reviews posted. That's over 30 times the difference. Why don't you wait until this has 301 reviews on RT before blowing the "It's better than The Avengers!" card.

        • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Ian/ Ian

          Holy shit, there's more.

        • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Adu/ Adu

          So you are the douche who gives 'fanboys' a bad name. Dude, insulting those who don't agree with you will get you nowhere in life. Get out of the basement or light some of those maturity bulbs that have clearly blown out.

        • robotsrule

          Yeah. I mean it's gonna end up around 80 to 88%. They all drop eventually. But I think to the larger point and one I share with Brad, even when these Marvel movies do what they're "supposed" to do effectively, they're still not showing us anything new or taking any risks. So it's fine to succeed at making a bland mediocre genre film but if we're grading everything on a curve and a Clockwork Orange gets an A, how can we seriously also give a film like Guardians an A?

          • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Winchester/ Winchester

            Maybe it's just me and how I approach such things but I would find it extremely dubious to compare 'A Clockwork Orange' and something like 'Guardians of the Galaxy' because it's almost certainly setting up the other film to fail.

            They aren't the same type of film, they don't have the same intentions behind them..........it's a waste of time to put them together critically.

            I would compare auteur cinema with auteur cinema, and summer popcorn entertainment against summer popcorn entertainment (i.e apple to apples) and so I don't see why it would be at all humorous to consider someone could give both films an A and the two don't really interact with each other. You can have excellent blockbusters and mediocre auteur movies and vice versa.

            But as them why they've given it an A and their answers should be very different. This comes back to the argument used here before..............don't look the grade, look at the content of the review. You don't have to agree with the content or tone of the review either but it'll probably give a better sense of reasoning than just the grade.

            • robotsrule

              Yeah. I can't argue with any of that. And ultimately a popcorn movie can effect me and entertain me just as much as a "serious" film. I just happen to think that no one is making popcorn flicks as well as they made Raiders Of The Lost Ark. I'm happy to give Raiders and Clockwork equal grades because they're both great at what they're trying to do. I'm just not convinced the Marvel movies are getting anywhere close to the successful popcorn flicks of old. But that could also just be because I have nostalgia for films from the 70's and 80's and I'm just too old to be mesmerized by something like a Captain America movie. I like watching the Marvel movies because it gives me an escape for 2 hours and I enjoy little bits here and there but they don't effect me the way something like Raiders did.

              • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Winchester/ Winchester

                Marvel's MCU specifically has apparently become some kind of Roschach test for contemporary popcorn entertainment.

                As far as popcorn entertainment goes in the current climate, I would watch a Marvel MCU film right now before I would watch entries in other franchises (which themselves are often no less mediocre or formulaic in their construction but for some reason it's a problem when Marvel does it - I don't really get the distinction, formula is formula wherever it is), because I find they recall the kinds of films I liked when I was younger more than these other franchises do.

                Do I 'love' them the way I would early Indiana Jones, Back To The Future and 'Star Trek' films............no, they don't - but they entertain me for a couple hours (slightly like yourself) much more than a number of other comparable popcorners.

                So my idea of good popcorn piece doesn't seem to always gel with the consenus here................ain't life a bitch sometimes ;)

              • http://twitter.com/pmachados Pedro

                I honestly can't enjoy most Marvel movies. I get bored while watching them and forget everything about them the next day. I can't put my finger exactly on why that is, but it's all very much tiresome for me. The dialogue with all the unfunny jokes and the set pieces every 10 minutes, the artificial McGuffins... It's just so hard to swallow.
                I'm hoping GOTG will get away at least a little from that.

              • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Winchester/ Winchester

                Fair enough.

                My point is while I myself don't have that response to them (yet.......there's a few years ahead for things to change) those kinds of comments and more are exactly what I would say about the likes of the last couple 'Fast and Furious' films, the entire Pirates series, 'Man of Steel', 'Godzilla' and umpteen other films of similar construction. I'd even say some of that about 'The Dark Knight Rises'. Many of those are films which others apparently found entirely watchable for various reasons.

                So at the end of the day does it really matter re Marvel if (for generalisation) you don't and I do? It's not like there isn't plenty else to go around. Does it mean one of us has better taste in summer escapism? I would doubt it.

              • http://twitter.com/pmachados Pedro

                Oh no. We surely have different tastes, like everybody else, but none better than the other. That's a common misconception people make regarding criticism upon the product they like. To think the one criticizing it thinks they are better than them for disliking. They often do, but they often don't.

              • robotsrule

                Yeah, I mean, I'll watch any sci/fi, actioner, fantasy, war film, etc. purely for the escapism of it. I have very little down time and I think I naturally tend to want to unwind by regressing to the carefree wonderment of my childhood. My parents took me to Star Wars in 77 which I don't remember at all but I do remember Raiders and Empire in 1980 and I think many people make the case that those two films are the standard for genre filmmaking. I think the coupling of those film's perfection with my age when I saw them makes it impossible for anything else to rival them. Every time I go to the theater I hope that by some miracle someone will make escapist entertainment that good again and I'm always disappointed. I think as we get older and have seen more the world loses it's awe and wonder. Nonetheless I keep going to every Marvel, Hobbit, Avatar, etc because they at least put me back in that frame of mind enough to forget about my responsibilities for awhile. I'm really curious to see Episode 7 because although the prequels were "Star Wars", they didn't have most of the old characters and they also weren't very good. I'm wondering how I'm going to respond to seeing Han Solo on screen for the first time in 30 years. As much as I didn't particularly like Indiana Jones 4, there were a few moments where having Indy back restored my childhood, if only briefly.

              • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Winchester/ Winchester

                I wouldn't really disagree with most of that, I think it's natural to lose that sense of childhood wonder as we age, but some films still can give you a flash of it, and when it does............everything else critically goes out the window.

      • Batmanfanboy

        Thanks that is nice of you to say that

    • http://cineenuruguay.com/ Driver

      I like The Winter Soldier and all, but how can it be one of the best genre flicks of the last decade if it came out this year?

      • Batmanfanboy

        Someone is lousy at math :) LOL

    • http://www.twitter.com/GregDinskisk GregDinskisk

      That's just, like, your opinion, man.

    • Ryan Martin

      Brad does post a lot of clickbait, but his reviews are always fair. He just so happens to dislike all MCU movies. I'm sure you'll still enjoy the movie and so will I!

    • Guthrie

      You can't be a Batman fanboy and be getting upset about a Marvel movie. Just doesn't make sense.

    • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Chris/ Chris

      Come on dude. At least have an argument. I liked the movie and I respect Brads opinion to not like it.

    • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Ian/ Ian

      Well holy mother fucker...that escalated quickly. This thread has to get some kind of #GoodComments reference on the Friday podcast. It's what #GoodComments was invented for.

  • http://cineenuruguay.com/ Driver

    Well, damn... Still interested, but damn...

  • http://www.digitalkebab.com Shaun Heenan

    That sounds about right.

    • Batmanfanboy

      It's not

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Kessler/ Kessler

    Even though the review is negative, it still sounds like I will enjoy this movie.

    • Batmanfanboy

      You will, because this review is trash

      • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/kieran/ Kieran

        Calm down, buddy.

  • Ryan Martin

    I like and respect Brad, but keep in mind he really dislikes all MCU movies. Everyone else I've seen has said positive things. I have a feeling if you like MCU movies (like most people do), you'll like this one too.

    • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Adu/ Adu

      "Brad decides that"

    • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/T-1000/ TJ

      He gave The Avengers an A- so he doesn't hate them all. He's just looking for a movie with good character development and story which MCU movies lack. This movie still looks very entertaining.

  • ⌬ Major Omniscient ⌬

    Off topic, Brad, but figured you'd see this here.......make sure we hear Laremy's side of the story on how he saved David Chen from Slashfilm in tomorrow's podcast (I'm assuming you didn't record it yet).

    • http://twitter.com/pmachados Pedro

      Now I'm curious. Stopped listening to Slashfilm Cast for a while now.

      • iFearJohnny

        He has Chen's "backup" keys. Chen locked his keys in his car, Laremy came to the rescue.

        • robotsrule

          Laremy is clearly doing the Lord's work on Earth helping his fellow man. It makes one wonder why he was stricken with the terrible Bell's Palsy. The Lord works in mysterious ways.

  • Ryan Martin

    Anyone else get the feeling this film does not do well opening weekend? Look at how Thor and Captain America did their opening weekends in 2011 and think about how rough this summer has been on films domestically. I think Guardians opening under $60 million is possible.

    • Batmanfanboy

      It will do amazing, the buzz is huge, the reviews are all positive and kids are already going nuts over the merchandising

    • http://www.kabooooom.com/ Chris Stephenson

      It was tracking 60-70 a couple weeks ago. Right now hype is through the roof with only one bad review on the internet, right here. I'm thinking high 60's, low 70's, but with a chance to hit 80. Audiences LOVE Marvel. Also there hasn't been a big movie in a few weeks. The closest is Lucy with 40 or so million this weekend. Audiences will be wanting something to spend their money on.

      NO chance it's under 60. If I put money on it, I'd say 72 weekend at minimum.

  • Jarret

    Have we found our Pacific Rim of this summer? Though like Pacific I'm expecting to like this one.

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/TheJackal/ The Jackal

    I can certainly appreciate your honesty, Brad, you are not one to jump on any bandwagons (if one in fact exists for Guardians of the Galaxy), but I could've predicted this D+ review at least six months ago. You are welcome to your opinion (one that I've enjoyed for over a decade now), but it seems that you are hopelessly biased against certain films, long before you've even seen a shred of footage.

    A little more open-minded and unbiased reporting in the months before a film a is released would go a long way towards helping this ROS reader to truly appreciate your harsher reviews.

    • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/maja/ maja

      I'm not quite sure what you mean - Brad has been speaking of his anticipation for Guardians of the Galaxy for the last 6 months or so.

      • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/TheJackal/ The Jackal

        Initially, yes, but I haven't heard a positive word in regards to Guardians for months now. Perhaps I'm mistaken.

  • http://twitter.com/pmachados Pedro

    C'mon Brad! Why can't we all agree on everything ever??

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/T-1000/ TJ

    I'm still very excited to see this. Unlike some people who can't separate opinions and personal taste, I respect your thoughts. Different strokes for different folks. The raccoon looks like the only interesting character. I'm just looking forward to something different from Marvel. BTW my afternoon was dull but reading these comments is making it so much better #GoodComments

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/MovieFan/ Israel Valencia

    C'mon this is like the greatest movie ever!!!!!!!!

    *sarcasm voice*

  • http://filmemignon.blogspot.com/ Corbin

    Looking forward to it, but this is a bit disappointing. Still going to go see it though. Also, you'd better not get depressed with this one because you need to be PUMPED for the next 30 over the next 14 years.

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Ryguy815/ Ryguy815

    It's disapointing that you didn't enjoy it, but I can't see myself not liking this one. Very excited to see it!

  • http://www.kabooooom.com/ Chris Stephenson

    I always find it helpful to see what else the reviewer has reviewed to see if it's someone worth listening to. This is a reviewer that has rated, among others, Sex Tape and Transformers 4 higher. He's got a dislike for Superhero movies, though he rated X-Men pretty high. He also gave Dawn of the Planet of the Apes a "C".

    • http://twitter.com/pmachados Pedro

      Sure it's helpful but read the reviews, not the grades.

  • BradyD

    I usually disagree with your reviews of MCU films. Having said that, the review is discouraging but I can't imagine this being any worse than Thor 2. I'm sure it will be a very entertaining flick.

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/wuggles/ B. Smith

    These comments...You would think Brad gave the movie an F-- and called the director Satan. Like calm down, no movie review is worth insulting someone over. Anyway I didn't particularly want to see this. I didn't see any of the Marvel movies in theaters and I don't feel like breaking that trend.

    • vice2vursa .

      Dude shut the fuck up, this review was fucking shit. fuck whoever wrote it. This is honestly the ONLY bad review I've seen. the movie has a 92% approval rating on rotten tomatoes. Best marvel movie to date so fuck you and yes, it's perfectly fine to insult the reviewer over it.

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/kieran/ Kieran

    I really appreciate your brutal honesty about movies like this, Brad. Although I disagree with you about 'Dawn' and 'Captain America: World Police," I think it's good to welcome contrary opinions about the summer blockbusters that fanboys love to go crazy over.

    As for the movie, I'll probably make it a rental. The marketing for this movie went from cool to unbearable. I'm already sick of hearing about this movie. Also, good review!

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/MovieFan/ Israel Valencia

    I know you don't really like superhero films but this can't be worse than Transformers: Age of Extinction, The Amazing Spider Man 2 or Thor: The Dark World

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/TheJackal/ The Jackal

    I can certainly appreciate your honesty, Brad, you are not one to jump on any bandwagons (if one in fact exists for Guardians of the Galaxy), but I could've predicted this D+ review at least six months ago. You are welcome to your opinion (one that I've enjoyed for over a decade now), but it seems that you are hopelessly biased against certain films, long before you've even seen a shred of footage.

    A little more open-minded and unbiased reporting in the months before a film a is released would go a long way towards helping this ROS reader to truly appreciate your harsher reviews.

    • Guthrie

      If I remember correctly Brad was actually looking forward to Guardians of the Galaxy until he saw a trailer and realized how silly it looked...

      • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/TheJackal/ The Jackal

        I guess I'd forgotton. He certainly seems to have been bashing the film since the release of the second trailer. Maybe I should've said weeks instead of months.

    • vice2vursa .

      This is the only bad review I've seen which seems weird to me considering it's a HUGE success with CRITICS. its honestly the best marvel film imo.

  • http://kaisaccofilm.tumblr.com/ Kai Sacco

    The comments on this review must be seen in IMAX RealD 3D.

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Torryz/ Torryz

    I'm sorry but Zoe Saldana is a terrible actress. In the trailers she always looks like she's asleep. I thought it was her character but after reading Brad's review, it is her. I am also happy to see that it wasn't just me who thought the music in the trailers didn't fit. Everytime I see one I cringe when I hear Hooked on a Feeling. With all the marketing on this, I had a feeling of desperation. I guess I was right.

  • code3210

    This is why I use this site only for news... this is not honesty, it's stupidity...

    • http://twitter.com/pmachados Pedro

      How come?

    • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/maja/ maja

      Not sure what you're talking about. Brad saw the movie and he wrote his thoughts on it - pretty sure he didn't lie about his thoughts as I'm not sure what the incentive would be.

      • http://twitter.com/pmachados Pedro

        Don't you know? Brad is on Warner's pay roll.

      • code3210

        Yeah, I'm sure Armond White didn't lie about his thoughts too.. Brad, the reviewer, has that absurd pretentious attitude, too cool for school type...

        • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Adu/ Adu

          Moron alert

          • code3210

            Awwwww... reviewer has an army of brain-dead supporters.
            At least he succeed with his goal, almost 200 comments for one single review. Bravo!!!

            • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Adu/ Adu

              I think it's only fair...I don't mind Marvel films...but clearly Marvel has lots of 'can't accept other opinions without insulting' people like you....so why can't an honest critic have a few loyal ones as well.
              Cheers.

              • code3210

                The funny thing is, I'm not even a Marvel fan... but I hate when critics call for attention through this kind of biased reviews.
                I'm not a blind defender but hey, movie is doing really great with critics so far - 21 reviews and all very positive (100% - 8.3 average rating). It's not honesty, it's questionable taste IMO.

              • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Adu/ Adu

                It's all subjective you hopelessly lost soul :)

    • ⌬ Major Omniscient ⌬

      Right. Anyone that doesn't bow down and worship Marvel and all of their silly, formulaic garbage is clearly just stupid. You're a genius.

  • AnakinCorleone

    The only negative review of Guardians of the Galaxy I've read so far. I didn't know what to make of it so I looked up your other reviews on this site. Now I find myself even more confused because you gave both Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Dawn of the Planet of the Apes a C+ but gave X-Men: Days of Future Past and Edge of Tomorrow each an A-. I enjoyed all four of those movies equally so I can't make out how the grades or criticisms work.

    Long story short, while I respect your opinions it doesn't seem like it's indicative of my movie tastes. However I do enjoy the counterpoint because with all of the hype surrounding this movie it helps to have an opinion that lowers expectations too.

    • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/TheLastEquivocationofBrist/ Michael

      Don't just look at the grades, read the reviews if you want to understand Brad's critical voice better

  • http://letterboxd.com/gman/ G-Man

    Here come the haters that haven't seen the movie yet

  • http://crimsondude.tumblr.com James Meiers

    Just checking the written review, and having no recollection of his BnL comments, I still agree with Brad's overall impression of The Winter Soldier even if it doesn't completely convey why (especially compared to Filmdrunk's, which lays out the primary objection that I share: Cap has no agency, and it's an exposition-heavy clunker). I wanted to like that movie. I like the characters. I like the idea of an espionage-heavy movie set in D.C. I liked the idea that the Russo Bros. were aiming for a '70s paranoid espionage thriller akin to Three Days of the Condor and The Parallax View. The problem is that those films didn't star characters noted for their superhuman physical attributes, and that they are inferior films in retrospect because they all end the same way: The lead character being jerked around, i.e. lacking agency, until a shadowy character lays out the whole conspiracy at the end of Act 2 and then Act 3 is just trying to survive certain death and revealing the secret to the world, or more likely having it actually covered up by even more powerful forces. So the Russos succeeded, and that's why I was disappointed when I actually watched The Winter Soldier. I can sum up my ultimate frustration with The Winter Soldier being my disappointment at Captain America giving a rousing speech to rally the "good" SHIELD personnel, and then having that rallying speech mean fuck-all with no actual impact whatsoever. Even Mark Millar got that move right in The Ultimates when Cap rallied the military in the climax.

    I know Brad's been down on the marketing for GotG since spring, and as it's escalated he's also become more exasperated on the podcast. I cannot blame him one bit. I read the first two incarnations of the Guardians of the Galaxy, I've been eager to see this since it was announced, and yet I'm already sick of the marketing for this film. He's made a note of being vague about what it is that makes him unsettled with the movie being sold, and I finally get it.

    In the comics, there is now a third incarnation of the Guardians of the Galaxy. It happens to be written by the one actual comics writer in the Marvel Studios creative committee: Brian Michael Bendis. I didn't like the idea of the changes made to the characters when the newest volume was announced and released, and it was obvious that the comic was going to be based on the movie and not the other way around. That is what it is. The amount of money one movie costs exceeds Marvel's annual publishing revenues. So let's not pretend that getting the characters and stories right for a property this relatively risky is more important for the film than the comic. But over time I've realized what unsettled me about the changes in characters is what I'm seeing in the clips and trailers, and it is that the characters strike me as one-note, bloodless corporate assets.

    I'm assuming that one of the spoilers teased in the movie for a sequel setup is that Peter Quill's father is not only an alien, but he's the Head Alien on his planet, Spartax.

    I don't give a damn about the Xandarians and the Nova Corps. I don't see any reason why the story has to involve the Kyln. Why are there three (four, before Gamora switches sides) henchmen for Thanos? The orb is obviously an Infinity Gem because we need to have six of them before Thanos can assemble the Infinity Gauntlet in Avengers 3.

    I can understand why Knowhere is in this. It's Marvel's cosmic version of Casablanca, and is the Guardians' de facto base. I doubt the movie mentions that those two locations are also located at literally opposite ends of the known universe (The Kyln being at The Crunch, site of the remnants of the Big Bang, and Knowhere, at the Rip, which is the edge of the known universe). There are decades of stories located between them, as well as, you know, the entire universe, and it seems like this is going to follow the same formula as the other MCU movies and most other movies this year and suffers one fatal flaw from the beginning: It's too long. I'm surprised it's only 121 minutes, but I bet that could easily be shaved down to 100.

    I will see this in a week. However, this review makes me certain that Brad's and my apprehensions were well-founded.

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/RonOnealFresh/ Ron Oneal Fresh

    Would it be fair to call Guardians of The Galaxy, a comedy?

    If so I can understand the apathy, and the effect of quickly being disengaged. I usually try to avoid comedies If I don't know If it's my cup of tea.

    From the trailer and clips GOTG looks amusing, in a quiet chuckle kind of way — not sure If that can sustain me for 120 minutes. The plot and villain just sounds too rote the way you described it, my god. It sounds like they re-used the Thor 2 villain.

    • http://crimsondude.tumblr.com James Meiers

      The marketing is certainly pushing the comedic elements hard.

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/JonSullivan/ Jon Sullivan

    Look, what we really want to know is whether it made you feel like a kid again?

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Newbourne/ Newbourne

    The story is nothing more than a "to do" list as we bounce across the galaxy, meeting this person and that being, moving from Xandar to Knowhere, for the first hour or so before we finally realize that's all this is, a means of establishing a few characters, acquiring a MacGuffin and preparing for the next inevitable step in the story. Worst of all, this is a movie about waiting around to see what happens next, because it isn't long before you know what's going to happen, and what I saw did little for me.

    Sounds just like a comic book to me.

  • http://www.theuncool.com Greg Mariotti

    wow. so many comments. I saw the film last night too (at the same screening as Brad) and wanted to share my thoughts.

    I actually liked Chris Pratt and the musical choices more than Brad.
    While his performance was fairly one note, he was likable and had a certain amount of screen presence in the role. While the CGI was great for Rocket and Groot, I thought it was pretty cheesy in other areas.
    That being said, I would pretty much agree with Brad's issues and grade. The plot is rote (with very little surprise and some heavy handedness), characters are underdeveloped. I was bored and waiting for it to end.
    That being said, at least half the audience cheered and clapped at times (there were plenty of kids in the crowd too). This is a movie clearly not for me and it really seems geared more for the under 18 crowd.

    Wanna watch a much better movie going for a similar vibe, but done much more effectively? See (or rewatch) Serenity.

    • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/JonSullivan/ Jon Sullivan

      Reading this just makes me miss 'Firefly' even more. Guess it's time to binge-watch it again!

      • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Newbourne/ Newbourne

        I tried getting into Firefly and failed. I really wanted to like it, but it felt rather cheesy and cliché. Plus the production value didn't really help it. I stopped about 2 episodes in.

        • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Risa/ Risa

          Wow, I've found someone who shares the same opinion as myself on Firefly - I had to question my actions (from buying the box-set to sitting through 13/14 episodes) whilst being extremely annoyed by the mediocrity of it during that weekend about 9 years ago.

    • vice2vursa .

      I'm way over 18, it's the best marvel film.

  • Bssdds

    This is a bummer to hear. Although I genuinely get more enjoyment out of these movies than Brad does, I can't help but say my excitement is diminished after reading this. It probably will be far less entertaining than this comment thread. Man, that escalated quickly.

    • vice2vursa .

      you need to read more reviews then, this is honestly the only bad review I read about this movie. the movie is a hit with critics everywhere else man. best marvel film imo

  • Kingswood

    I'm giving this review a D- ...boredom set in immediately

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Chris/ Chris

    I was able to catch an advance screening and I really enjoyed it. I agree it started slow, but once the team came together I thought it was great. In the grand scheme of cinema this movie has no point, but I was laughing and having a good time. This is not much of a thinker, but it does have heart. I do look forward to its inevitable sequel because I think it just kind of scrapped the surface on this characters.

    It was the Marvel formula once again, but it has flourishes of Gunn's vision and humor that I had a good time. In a summer of really bad movies I was very happy to see this one come along.

  • robotsrule

    Well it's 100% on RT (Rotten Tomatoes, not Russia Today) so I think this is another one of those "Brad hates fun" movies. Come on man, turn off your brain and pour some soda into your face-hole and be an American for a change. Talking Raccoon!!

    • http://www.theuncool.com Greg Mariotti

      The movie has gotten a pass so far on RT. I'll be surprised if that continues....

    • hailstate

      "Yeah, Brad, 'turn off your brain' and enjoy what we shovel out each summer." -- signed, every major studio executive

      • Edward

        Cynical assholes like you ruin movie going.

        • hailstate

          Sounds legit.

          • Edward

            Yup. I bet you like pretentious ego strikers like Under the Skin for its "atmospheric emotion" and hate these films because you're too stuck up to pull your head out of your ass. Then openly mock the fans of comic movies because only you and a group of people who hold themselves higher then everyone else

            • hailstate

              NAILED IT.

            • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Adu/ Adu

              Wow...your stupidity knows no bounds does it?

            • http://www.ohbrotherwhereartthougifts.com andyluvsfilms

              Under The Skin is a fantastic film and my #2 of the year so far, I have a documentary at #1 and an Indian film at #3 so i'm guessing we'll never be BFF's. Still looking forward to Guardians though despite being bored shitless for around 90% of the Marvel Experience, explosions do not equal excitement.

              • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/kclaw31/ kclaw31

                I have Under The Skin at 2 as well....I think. Really curious what you think of Guardians of the Galaxy, let me know. I thought it was great - a lot of fun.

              • http://www.ohbrotherwhereartthougifts.com andyluvsfilms

                Hoping to see both that and Mood Indigo on Wednesday, should be a good day.

    • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Hudsucker/ Hudsucker

      Are you sure RT doesn't stand for Raccoon, Talking?

    • http://twitter.com/pmachados Pedro

      Such a douchehack.

      • robotsrule

        Yeah Brad, you douchehack. Do a gooder research next time. It's just supposed to be a dumb and fun movie ok? Jeeez. I can't believe how much you hate a gud movie with coool effects just because you think your smarter then everyone else!

        • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/TheLastEquivocationofBrist/ Michael

          People who don't listen to the pod might think you and Pedro are actually insulting Brad (just saying :P)

          • robotsrule

            People know I'm not a "good commenter". And if they don't know, well, they themselves are probably a good commenter.

            • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/TheLastEquivocationofBrist/ Michael

              True, so the only risk there is that a real good commenter will think you're one of them. You could infiltrate their ranks as a double agent!

              • robotsrule

                Shhh. You're blowing my cover.

  • PJ Edwards

    YOU ARE MY HERO

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/TheJackal/ The Jackal

    I find it strange all of the comments agreeing with Brad's review, assuming he's completely correct, when in fact none of these people have seen the movie yet. Make your own judgments, people. The review was well written, that is all.

  • hailstate

    Brad, why aren't you validating my emotional attachment to this movie with a positive review!?!!? Why you no like, Brad?

  • Edward

    Then perhaps you should just stop watching these movies. It's clear they don't appeal to you, and I'm getting tired of hearing you whine about them, so why not just stop wasting your time and ours?

    • hailstate

      Yeah, Brad, use your ESP to only review movies you'll like and stop making me go to your site and stop making me read your reviews Clockwork Orange-style.

      • Edward

        You belong to the group of pricks who get confused over why people pay to see Transformers. People like these movies, and since he didn't like Iron Man 3, Thor 2, Cap 2 and this, why waste everyone's time.

        Stop being a goddamn prick.

        • hailstate

          I don't think you understand how the internet works.

          • Edward

            I do. You think you're being edgy and cool by acting like a cynic. It's evident he doesn't like these movies. Why waste the time to go to the screening, write the review just to endure backlash.

            • hailstate

              I'll let Brad decide if he's wasting his time. Maybe you should take your own advice and spend your time at another site.

              • Edward

                Nice turning of the tables there, champ. I like to hear his opinion, but I don't like it when I see a review of something that obviously isn't his cup of tea, droning on bout how he didn't like it. He stopped reviewing the Saw movies after awhile, I'm assuming because his opinion of them deteriorated.

              • http://twitter.com/pmachados Pedro

                You know it's his work to review movies right? Not to like them, but to review them? It really doesn't matter if he likes it or not. It's his job. It's not a waste of time.

              • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/AlmostFilmCritic/ AlmostFilmCritic

                You haven't read his X-MEN:DOFP review have you?

      • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/TheLastEquivocationofBrist/ Michael

        Please don't make me hate Beethoven!

    • http://www.theuncool.com Greg Mariotti

      Pure silliness. Brad is on record liking Thor, The Avengers, etc.

      • Edward

        He's said his opinion of Avengers drastically changed upon repeated viewing.

        • http://www.theuncool.com Greg Mariotti

          so. He doesn't hate superhero films. Add Nolan's trilogy and the original Donner Superman to his list of films he likes...Brad is objective as anybody.

          Edward, have you seen Guardians? It's not good....

    • PJ Edwards

      I think he reviews the movies since it's his job to do it.

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Christian/ Christian

    C'mon Brad, they're out there guarding the galaxy and you give them a D-?? All of the other critics (thus far) know that in order to keep these guys happy, the RT score must stay 100%!

    BTW: Congratulations on the most commented on GOTG review in the world! :)

  • iFearJohnny

    Sigh, maybe just stop talking about Marvel on the podcast if you're never going to have anything nice to say. Can't wait to see it, its probably a hell of a lot of fun and contrary to the grade, a better watch than Sex Tape. That said I am starting to appreciate your Armin White views on the marvel cinematic universe, its making for a fun read just like White's reviews.

    • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/TheLastEquivocationofBrist/ Michael

      If Brad was trying to be the next Armond White, he would've given Tammy an A. So no.

      • iFearJohnny

        I know it was a joke, but I'm just sayin he clearly dislikes the MCU while most people have embraced it, giving him an Amond vibe when it comes to the MCU. I don't care, he likes what he likes, it makes for a good read.

  • JeffMc2000

    I'd say that anyone considering taking this review seriously should check out Rotten Tomatoes before ruling out seeing Guardians.

    • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/maja/ maja

      Yup because we all know that RT is the be all and end all.

      • JeffMc2000

        It's not, but a consensus is more valuable than a single opinion.

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Travis/ Travis

    Brad, I hope I end up disagreeing with you, as I am wont to do from time to time, but I doubt you are a lifeless moron hack about it (if you are, you'd tell me, right?)

  • http://zissousociety.org Kingsley_Zissou

    Mutiny!

  • http://zissousociety.org Kingsley_Zissou

    Where do I go to get mad at Brad for assuming he won't like Wish I Was Here?

    • http://zissousociety.org Kingsley_Zissou

      Although he probably wouldn't. It's basically a Garden State reboot with a couple great moments.

  • 47ronin100

    Aw man, I was looking forward to this too.

    • http://zissousociety.org Kingsley_Zissou

      I like Chris Pratt.

      • 47ronin100

        Chris Pratt is cool. Glad he's getting some exposure.

        • http://zissousociety.org Kingsley_Zissou

          I'm excited for him to be in the next Jurassic Park. I'm cautiously hopeful about that one.

          • 47ronin100

            Yeah me too. I wish Sam Neill and Jeff Goldblum were coming back though. And Laura Dern. And Ariana Richards. And Joseph Mazzello. Was JP worth watching in IMAX 3D for me? The answer is a resounding yes.

            • http://zissousociety.org Kingsley_Zissou

              I'd love to see Goldblum come back but I'm not sure any of those characters could keep getting tricked into going back. They've almost all fallen for it already once.

              • 47ronin100

                Well, they were kicking around an idea where cities are under attack by lots of dinos. Of course, John Sayles was kinda all over the place with his script though. Then he did that whole human dino hybrid mercenary thing. Not a bad idea. Just not a good one for the franchise.

              • http://zissousociety.org Kingsley_Zissou

                I don't get that. Why would you need a human dino hybrid?

              • 47ronin100

                Gonna have to ask John Sayles for that because I am still trying to wrap my mind around that one. Instead we got the Spinosaurus snapping the T-Rex's neck.

              • http://zissousociety.org Kingsley_Zissou

                You liked the Lost World book, right? I'm considering reading that one. I feel like there was potential for a neat sequel to Jurassic Park but the movies never quite figured it out.

              • 47ronin100

                Um, the first time I read it, I was a bit shocked that it was pretty much not for kids. So many F-bombs. The thing of it is, the book is better than the movie but I really love the epic scale of the movie. Of course, the movie is admittedly stupid (even as a kid, I was stumped as to how the tyrannosaur got at the crew in the bridge). But the book is pretty cool.

              • http://zissousociety.org Kingsley_Zissou

                Do you think the new movie will be the same old thing where the dinos get out somehow and everyone tries to survive?

              • 47ronin100

                Probably. Kinda wish they went with the concept of loose dinos in the city but I guess not. And yet, I will still watch it. Because dammit, nobody keeps me away from my dinos.

              • http://zissousociety.org Kingsley_Zissou

                I'm very disappointed in the human race's inability to bring dinosaurs back to life thus far.

              • 47ronin100

                So am I. Also, really Asi? We know that dinosaur DNA in mosquito preserved in amber isn't possible. I swear, he somehow brings everything down a notch.

              • http://zissousociety.org Kingsley_Zissou

                He's burdoned with the responsibility of educating the entire race.

              • 47ronin100

                That's Franks' job. He's the Bill Nye of our group. Asi is like......................................................the Snape.

  • Dave

    I do enjoy reading your reviews for a different perspective Brad, but I do find myself disagreeing with you more and more - which is why I am not worried to hear you didn't take to this. I'm unfamiliar with the comics, but the trailers have really caught my attention.

    For anyone worried by this review, visit Rotten Tomatoes. It's only 20 odd reviews in, but they're pretty much all hugely positive.

    • robert franklin stroud

      I saw the movie and Brad's review was spot on. This movie is not very good; particularly, if you have an above-average IQ and notice all the flaws.

  • Paul Slim

    hmmmm are you sure we saw the same movie?

  • Mannyfresh

    I came in search of a more unbiased review, as cinemablend gave it 5 stars and I'm just not buying it. Marvel is notorious for weak plot overlooked by rabid loyal fans, this review sounds right but I might check it out, I could be wrong.

    • http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3769949/ thatpj

      Cinema blend is unbiased!?

      • Mannyfresh

        IDK, I see so many more ads and 5 star reviews, maybe it's not you; (CB) it's me.

  • Paulius

    So now you're kinda like that critic who ruined boyhood's 100% on rotten tomatoes.. Just.. you're not on rottent tomatoes so you cant be the one who ruins it. But you were trashtalking those critics and now that's you!

    • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/TheLastEquivocationofBrist/ Michael

      Guardians has 19 positive reviews on RT right now. Boyhood has 152.

    • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Adu/ Adu

      How is a person sharing his opinion on a movie ruining anything? Sheesh...the times we live in.

  • http://www.rabidpictures.com yrabadi

    haha... love the comment count on this sucker. You got the internet all riled up Brad, congrats.

    Skimmed the review as I would like to watch the film before reading it in more detail. I will say it sucks you didn't enjoy it more. 'Bored' is a horrible word when it comes to cinema... hoping I don't experience that when I check it out next weekend.

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Cordia/ Cordia

    It's just Brad's opinion..wtf are people doing with their lives having the time to critisize someone for not liking a movie. Get over it, If Brad doesn't like GOTG maybe you'll still love it..or not.

    • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/DArtagnan/ DArtagnan

      Yeah, but who cares whether he liked it or not? A critic must write a review based on what fans want to believe, not voice out his/her opinion. :-)

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/Welio/ Welio

    Tough but fair

  • Kathy Rowe

    Well, we are planning on seeing it, but only because it's something different on the Hollywood slate this summer. Bored of everything else. Too bad they didn't look further into the realm of Indie authors; I have a character they'd like to meet. And he has sequels...

  • Abed Nadir

    I'm pretty sure RS is just fed up with comic book movies and that has dirtied the lens with which they watch movies. This one is the most anticipated comic book movie of the year. If it is this bad, Marvel's plans for this series would grind to a halt. I'll watch for myself and judge.

    On a different note, the ratings on this website have been absurd in the past few years. It's like he's slowly getting more and more cynical to the point where he only enjoys artsy bullshit movies that can never connect with most people. This website is great for news, but it has become elitist and out-of-touch with common tastes.

    • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/TheLastEquivocationofBrist/ Michael

      He liked X-Men DoFP, 2 Guns, The LEGO Movie, About Last Night, Neighbors, etc. How are those elitist?

      • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/PzyKo/ Max

        As well as Edge of Tomorrow, Godzilla, How to Train Your Dragon 2, The Raid 2, Lucy, The Fault in Our Stars, The Other Woman, Lone Survivor, Rush, Prisoners, The Wolf of Wall Street, The Way, Way, Back, Gravity, Frozen, The Conjuring, Despicable Me 2, Fast 6, Red 2, Captain Phillips, 42, Homefront, Dead Man Down, The World's End, This is the End, World War Z, Turbo, Catching Fire, Oblivion, Man of Steel, Evil Dead, The Croods, About Time, and Beautiful Creatures. All "mainstream" movies released in the last two years that Brad has given a positive review.

  • nerdrrage

    I give this review an F- and will see GotG regardless and judge for myself.

    • http://zissousociety.org Kingsley_Zissou

      I give this comment an F+.

    • robert franklin stroud

      F minus? Really?
      I guess your stupidity really is limitless.

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/JNFilms/ JN Films

    220 comments? Where have I been...

    And people hating on Brad need to knock it off. He is just voicing his opinion on a movie he happened not to like. He's not forcing you not to see it. Calm down.

    Like Cordia said:

    "It's just Brad's opinion..wtf are people doing with their lives having the time to critisize someone for not liking a movie. Get over it, If Brad doesn't like GOTG maybe you'll still love it."

  • TheMachine

    Wow the author is quite hard to please. I Love the cast, the crew and I think this movie will own.

  • Lucy Six Morris

    Thanks for letting us know that everyone else watching it had fun. Perhaps they should be the reviewers for this. How you got the job is anyone's guess.

  • Edson C

    Yeah, saw this at a special screening, was fantastic, all you can ask in a summer blockbuster. Brad should team up with Armond White, Mr."I'll-get-more-attention-if-I-contradict-movies-people-enjoyed". Give Transformers a C and this a D+? There's got to be a better way you can sound smart, buddy. Keep trying.

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/AS/ AS

    Different strokes for different folks I suppose

    Ha, that's generous. It's more like the difference between people with functioning IQs and those with excrement in their craniums.

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/TheLastEquivocationofBrist/ Michael

    I took a look at the comments on Stephanie Zacharek's negative review...some of them are too horrible to even be laughed at as a "good comment," they're just scary. And she's a critic I've been aware of for as long as I've been aware of film critics, so probably at least 15 years. A long, successful career as a critic, but give a negative review to a Marvel film and it seems you must be a hack, a shill, or worse.

  • http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3769949/ thatpj

    Just saw it and Brad nailed it. This is a movie for the kids.

    • robert franklin stroud

      Dumb kids at that. I cannot believe the positive reviews (they must have been paid for) as this is a C movie at best with an incredible amount of flaws.

  • Mntnman

    Most reviewers loved it. Loved it! Perhaps this guy is just a curmudgeon. I read these reviews, but then make my own judgments, so should we all. At least he admits the crowd he watched with seemed to like the movie. To each his own!

  • https://twitter.com/delaney_david David Delaney

    A very cynical effort again from Marvel. Avengers lite really. A poor mans RDJ, a sentient tree who was basically the Hulk, a supposed deadly assassin who turned out to be yet another feeble woman who needs to be saved and a villain hell bent on world destruction, for some reason. Huge spaceship and city destruction at the end. There must be some other way to end a film. It bothers me that the most sympathetic characters were a talking raccoon and a sentient tree. C'mon Marvel, write some decent human charecters. Can't be that hard. Thematically, I did learn that it's good to have friends and friends are important. Wait, was this a kindergarten class? Lastly, don't wait around for the stinger. It's a fucking duck. Nuff said.

    • http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3769949/ thatpj

      Nailed it.

      • https://twitter.com/delaney_david David Delaney

        Thanks man.

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/MovieBuffNtn/ Reid Sweatt

    Damn it Brad!!! I wish I disagreed with you. I mean I wouldn't give it a D+ but I was definitely letdown. Particularly in the second-half. The first-half was fun, and it was very funny, but it all led up to nothing. Nice review Brad. Still pissed that I agree with you though

  • http://crimsondude.tumblr.com James Meiers

    I just came back from this movie, and while I respect your reviews and opinions, I cannot understand you could write, "I never felt a tinge of excitement." I generally agree with Filmdrunk that Iron Man 3 is the best MCU movie, but this was way more exciting than Avengers. Never a tinge? I don't understand.

    "We're going to make this a little sillier so you know not to take any of this too seriously and just have fun with it."

    And I did, and I'm glad they went for it. Any superhero movie that takes itself seriously is going to turn into the Nolan Batman movies, which are overwrought and ridiculous when trying to be serious, at best, and Man of Steel at worst.

  • Jhary Kenshura

    If I thought this review was based on the movie I could respect it. After reading the entire review though, it's obvious that this is little more than someone who went in with biases fully loaded, and surprise, had them all affirmed! Quill was taken in 1988, exactly what musical choices should they have made for the mix tape that wouldn't have been "kitschy" and more relevant to the story? Even other critics who didn't like the movie enjoyed Bautista's work, yet the only thing said is about him in the film is that he's a "nightmare." On the other hand, your love for Karen Gillian is evident by praising her for acting and storyline that isn't there. Her performance essentially IS a fight scene, but the subtle nuance of her essence gives full body and vitality to each frame of the movie she is in, or something like that, right?

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/JimmyDiamies/ Jimmy Diamies

    I don't think you will ever be further outside, Brad. I usually agree with your reviews and grades but this one seems way off. Saw it today and it is probably my favorite movie in this cinematic universe. I know it is just one piece of a much larger puzzle, but I think you are starting to put way too much emphasis on that aspect of these movies when you watch them now. Anyway, not trying to beat a dead horse, I thought it was fantastic. I think Chris Pratt is wildly charismatic and Bautista was a pleasant surprise. You are correct about Rocket being the best part and Saldana not being very special as Gamora but I liked the character fine. I had no idea going in that I would chuckle that much. Found it very amusing. Marvel and Gunn nailed this imo (no comic book knowledge) people are gonna eat this up and I am excited about it all eventually coming together. If this does have a lower rating than Transformers, I am baffled.

  • The Great and Powerful Turtle

    so instead of giving a review paid for my Marvel you've taken Warner bros money

    • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/TheLastEquivocationofBrist/ Michael

      Is your name a Wild Cards reference? I've been meaning to try reading those. (Note this question doesn't mean I agree with your comment, just curious about the name).

      • The Great and Powerful Turtle

        yes it is ...the first 4/5 Wild Card books are very very good,a bit of a mix bag but the story of Jet Boy Dr Tachyon(the Turtle of course)and how the virus was released would make great TV

  • m8rm8r

    Good thing this guy has no clue what a good movie is, Drax is supposed to be humorless and dry, Quill is sarcastic so the movie doesn't take itself to seriously like Star Wars, can't argue Gamora though, thought she could have done better. The music is a sentimental attachment the main character has to his last year on earth with his moms favorite pop songs, not a kitch nod for the audience. This guy basically missed most of the ideas the movie was getting across just so he could crap on the movie everyone else loved and he could be the one bad reviewer for it. This movie is a b- to an a+ depending on if you enjoy fun and if everything the movie sets out to do doesn't fly over your head like this dope.

    • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/TheLastEquivocationofBrist/ Michael

      Nothing flies over his head. He has great reflexes, so he would catch it.

  • kazukool

    dont trust this review at all its fucking great

    • robert franklin stroud

      No, it was not that good. If you are not very intelligent like kazukool then the pretty colors and images might be enough for you.

  • LincolnX

    This movie wasn't for everybody - but I enjoyed it. It reminded me of how I felt after the first Star Wars. Really good feels. And I think the soundtrack was a big reason why. It help ground a movie about aliens in a familiar sonic aesthetic.

  • Haw haw

    I tried to like it but it seemed to be using songs from the 70's as a crutch to hypnotize people into thinking it's likable. I lived through the seventies and don't want to hear those sad songs that remind me of car wrecks anymore. 2014 kids would not get the Footloose joke and the only good joke is when Drax remarks about his new friends and calls Gamora a green whore. Then I had to spend time telling my booger eater nephew why it's a bad thing to call everyone in McDonalds a green whore. I couldn't think of a good reason, so I let him keep doing it.

  • http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/profile/kathrynlynn/ kathrynlynn

    When I saw the trailer for this film, I was actually really interested. I thought it would be funny and adventurous and sort of irreverent. And while I did laugh, quite a bit- especially with Rocket, and I did find the humor of Drax oddly charming, I was just bored.

    It's not that I don't like the characters or that world- but so much time has to be spent introducing us to them, and sort of filling in their back stories just enough to make sure we know who they are, and so that, I imagine, things can connect to there other marvel movies... that it leaves this being basically just an introduction film. Which is boring.

    I have hopes that the second installment could be better- because maybe then they can tell a good story.

    My eyes were rolling from the beginning with the character of Quill though. One of the first jokes he makes is about a girl (or alien being female) that we're meant to insinuate he had a sexual relationship with and couldn't remember her name... oh and for bonus funny... he didn't even remember she was there. Because you know... that's hilarious.

    Quill is an asshole with no character arc. And you could argue the character arc for him (and the others) is about becoming family... but it happens in such a staccato fashion that I didn't buy it.

    I don't hate marvel movies- I like them for the most part. But this one just didn't hit for me.

    I would however watch a movie about Nebula and Gamora.

  • http://stevelincolnmovieblog.blogspot.com/ Steven Lincoln

    First up, I loved this movie! I left the theater reminded of how I felt when I first saw Star Wars back in 1977. The movie reminded me a lot of that first trek to a galaxy far far away. This film perfectly integrated action, humor and heart with much better dialogue than any of the Star Wars films. I read a review that said they could watch the five main protagonists just sitting around talking for the length of a film. I was never bored. In fact, I went and saw it a second time the very next night and was not bored at all. Thoroughly enjoyed this film. It's the first summer movie this year I'm really excited about.

  • http://stevelincolnmovieblog.blogspot.com/ Steven Lincoln

    Now to address your review. The film is not just an introduction to the characters. Each character is introduced as a way to further the main story as well as provide subtext and depth. The film is bookended with Peter Quill's story which is the heart as well as establishing him as the centerpiece of the Guardians. The musical choices are not just silly winks but a link to Quill's character, his relationship with his mother and a reminder that he's an ordinary guy like you and I (albeit with something special) thrust in the middle of this galactic adventure. Pratt is quickly becoming one of my favorite actors after Moneyball, Zero Dark Thirty, The Lego Movie and now this. Bautista and Soldana are both engaging in their roles lending credence to their misunderstanding of earth terminology and their individual motivations. At least, you liked Rocket and Groot which together with the other three make up a completely engaging super hero team.

  • xscarletstorm

    I honestly can't wait to see this movie

  • Scott Phillips

    I always listen to the podcast but rarely read the site. This is the first review of yours I have read. The first paragraph made me create an account so I could comment. You and Laremy misuse a lot of terminology, but non more so than "MacGuffin" and it drives me insane. Just read the wikipedia page you yourself have linked for Macguffin. The stone in this movie IS explained, we actually DO get to see it, and it does play a central role in the plot instead of indirectly motivating characters.

    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MacGuffin

    To determine if a thing is a MacGuffin:
    check to see if it is interchangeable. For example, in a caper story the MacGuffin could be either the Mona Lisa or the Hope diamond, it makes no difference which. The rest of the story (i.e. it being stolen) would be exactly the same. It doesn't matter which it is, it is only necessary for the characters to want it.
    Does it do anything, and if it does, is it ever actually used in story? If the answer to both is yes, it's a Plot Device, not a MacGuffin. For Plot Devices that get the same attention as aMacGuffin, compare Magnetic Plot Device.

  • zatyjesa

    You're always my first choice for reviews of a movie, because I know that if you don't like it I'll end up loving the film. Thanks!!

    • robert franklin stroud

      Then you are stupid as he is not.

  • The Deev Abides

    hang on, just wanna say the musical choices - which you detest, were perfect for the film as Starlord's mum died in 1988, and gave him an awesome mix tape on cassette for him to listen to. You give me a better mix tape of someone growing towards an adulthood of 1980's that beats 10CC, David Bowie, Jackson 5, The Runaways, Blue Suede and the Pina Colada song.. seriously.. I challenge you.

    As someone who didn't like The Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy was very enjoyable.

  • Ricci Jön

    I agree with most of this review. Only thing I'd ad were some of the effects & logic were so unbelievable, it took me out of the picture at times. Found "As bored as I was, laughing only periodically at something Rocket said
    or Groot did, my audience was fully enraptured, clapping at scenes in
    the middle of the movie and wholly caught up in the entire thing." to by my exact same experience.

  • robert franklin stroud

    This review is 100 percent spot on. I saw it yesterday and I agree with everything you wrote, including the song choices. I will look for your reviews before my next movie visit.