Girl's Best Friend: 'Bride Wars'
Run for cover!
Photo: 20th Century Fox
This week's estrogen escape takes the cake: there are weddings, there are flowers, there is jewelry, spray tan, shopping — and that's in the trailer alone! In short Bride Wars has it all. If you thought Kate Hudson couldn't pick a romantic comedy better than How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, oh my friend, you thought wrong! And if you thought you wouldn't have to see it…well, my friend…once again, negatory.
Despite the fact that there are some five movies opening wide this weekend — including one starring Clint Eastwood, the Gran Torino of cinema himself — the only film on your girl's radar is Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson's tour de femme. And she usually has much better taste. Well, where weddings are concerned, even the sanest of women get a little weird.
Why she might want to see it: Might? No, she definitely will. It features brides behaving badly! Sounds like a show on the Oxygen Network.
Why you might not: Sounds like a show on the Oxygen Network.
The silver lining: Most romantic comedies clock in at under two hours.
Tips for the untrained:
- The script was co-written by new SNL regular, Casey Wilson (i.e., Dusty the paralyzed stripper). Makes one think there will be more than a few good jokes in there. Play a game with yourself, and try to figure out which one-liners are all hers.
- Another saving grace for your boredom/agony may come in the co-stars. Candice Bergen of "Boston Legal" co-stars as the wedding planner, and like Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada, she's bound to steal a scene or two (or three or four). Plus Bryan Greenberg and Chris Pratt, who play the two lucky grooms-to-be, are likely to mirror your personal disconnect from the feuding brides, so stick with them.
- Much like an episode of "Bad Girls Club" (real show), Bride Wars will teach us exactly how we shouldn't act. So don't worry: your girlfriend watching brides behaving badly won't turn her into a badly behaving bride. In fact, you haven't even had that conversation, have you? Nor do you want to? Only in it for the sex, you say? Oh, dear. Take her to see something else.
- All else fails, wear a hoodie and bring headphones. But in general, be gentle with her feelings after a movie about weddings. We don't like to admit it, but we can be oddly sensitive about the subject. So play nice, or you might end up with VIP tickets to the Bride Wars sequel, DTR Woes. Starring you.
Should you prefer to keep yourself and your lady out of the reign of taffeta at this weekend's box office, I do recommend you two go see Gran Torino. It's not a light movie; it's a thinker, but you'll both come out of it with a lot of conversation. First question: do your parents really hate her? Or is it just 'cause she's Asian?
Let me know what fights you get into this weekend. Hopefully, it won't be anything next week's movie can't fix!
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Dear Girls' Best Friend:
What do I do? My lady friend claims she wants to see Gran Torino this weekend and she hasn't even mentioned Bride Wars. Except for a moment before Ben Button when she said the she would see any movie just because Reese Witherspoon is in it, and (here's the kicker) same goes for Hudson.
Never mind. Here's hoping Brad's D- is way off!
See, I'm in the throes of wedding planning (hell, I've got The Knot open in one tab, and gown finalists open in another), and I would never consider seeing Bride Wars. It looks plain awful. It doesn't look like it has a single redeeming quality. If we do get to the movies this weekend, Doubt and Slumdog Millionaire are at the top of our lists.
@aerinpegadrak: Yeah, I think Amy was caught between a rock and a hard place this week having just started this new column. I feel I owe her a debt of gratitude trying to begin such an endeavor at the beginning of January, the worst month of the year for new releases. Go easy on her with this pick folks. :)
@Brad Brevet: Oh, I see her logic in assuming that most girls will be falling all over themselves to see this one. I just wanted to clarify that I'm not one of them, since I find this movie rather offensive, to be honest. But after getting a much closer look at the wedding industry and those it caters to, I can see how this would appeal to lots and lots of women.
I'm really enjoying these columns, actually. I think that providing guys with survival tips to get through chick flicks is rather inspired. Perhaps a mirror column offering girls tips on how to get through action or horror movies, too?