Shrek the Third (HD DVD)

I loved the first Shrek, I own the DVD and have watched it multiple times. Upon release of Shrek 2 I was far too kind and gave it a "B" all due to its fantastic ending. However, it was a film I never returned to. My expectations seeing Shrek the Third in theaters were extremely low, and that said the film still couldn't manage to win me over, and it isn't fairing much better on HD DVD.

Granted, I will say I don't mind this movie and parents will most likely love plopping their kids down in front of the television to get them out of their hair for 90 minutes, but this is hardly the classic the first film was even if it is a slight improvement on number 2.

The gist of the story is that the king of Far Far Away Land has passed on and Shrek is pretty much the rightful heir to the throne, that is, except for Fiona’s cousin Artie (Justin Timberlake), who is off at high school doing a proper job of underachieving and getting picked on. Not being one for responsibilities outside of waking up Shrek sets off to find a replacement and our journey begins, along with a little bit of mischief provided by the scorned Prince Charming.

The premise is all fine and dandy, but when fart jokes become old hat these movies don't really have much to turn to, which results in jokes falling flat on their face and the heart of the story being dragged through the mud. It also doesn't help that the accompanying music is so far from appropriate for each scene you are left scratching your head more often than feeling for the characters. How they managed to work Damien Rice's "9 Crimes" into the film is beyond me, the song is about cheating in a relationship and they use it when Shrek saves Artie's life by berating him... the two don't go hand in hand.

As far as the HD DVD is concerned you get a ton of little kid features that I could hardly tolerate for even a second. Animation fans will actually be happy to watch the HD DVD exclusive "Animator's Corner" feature that plays the storyboards in time with the film, along with another feature of deleted scenes that were never even shot. Instead you get to watch the writers actually pitch their scenes for the first time. I got bored with it because I hate meetings and that is all this felt like, but I think plenty of others will find it interesting.

There are also some web-enabled download features such as a trivia track, but I didn't take the time to download them since I wasn't about to watch the film again.

Should you buy this film? No. Will you buy this film? Probably, that seems to be the deal lately right? People just walk through Best Buy or Walmart or whatever and scoop the latest releases into their basket and off they go. Shrek the Third is one of the reasons movies aren't special anymore. Half-assed storylines and the promise that parents will take their kids to see any old crap that occupies a couple hours out of the day is reason enough to make a third film and have plans for a fourth already in the works.