The Scorpion King 2: Rise of the Warrior (DVD)

I was not a fan of the first Scorpion King flick. Quite frankly I thought it was awful despite finding undeniable enjoyment in the stupidity that are the first two Mummy films. Even still, I have a soft spot in me for direct-to-DVD features. It's not as if I always find them enjoyable, but I always watch them with my expectations so low it is typically hard for them to entirely disappoint. Direct-to-video releases aren't made on big budgets and they don't typically gain the greatest actors. The Scorpion King 2 is no different as they recruited UFC champion Randy Couture as the "big name" in the cast. This is a sad statement in and of itself, especially considering he is in the film for about 15 or the 109 minutes. Not exactly worthy of top billing.

The story is a prequel story to the one told in 2002 Scorpion King starring The Rock as Mathayus the Scorpion King. Taking his place as a teen warrior in training is Michael Copon and oh boy is he bad, but to be fair he is no worse than the rest of the cast. The film follows young Mathayus as he goes away for training as a black scorpion only to return and find out Sargon (Randy Couture) has not only killed his father, but he has strong armed his way into becoming king. Now serving under Sargon's banner Mathayus must decide whether or not he will avenge his father's death or serve under the man who killed him.

Alongside Mathayus is Layla played by Karen David and her acting prowess is proved terrible throughout the film but none so much as in a scene with the film's second villain, Lady Astarte. Playing Astarte is Natalie Becker and the scene in which Astarte and Layla battle is filled with awful effects and dialogue that will have you cringing with laughter. "I will tear your face off," yells Astarte. "Good, then I won't have to look at you," replies Layla. Once Layla is caught in some kind of force field generated by Astarte she yells, "It's not fair, you said no magic." Astarte quite simply replies, "I lied." She lied, you laughed. It is truly awful.

The pic is written by Randall McCormick (Speed 2: Cruise Control) and directed by Russell Mulcahy (Resident Evil: Extinction) and the film experience of the two novices shows in the storytelling, dialogue, effects, direction and just about everything else you can think of. This is an amateur effort at best and the fact that they even made special features for the DVD is laughable.

There is actually a feature on the DVD surrounding Couture's performance as well as the film's effects by Condor Cape Town, an effects house that boasts no real film experience and doesn't even list Scorpion King 2 as one of their projects on their official site. Not a good sign.

I didn't expect this film to be a work of art, but I expected it to be tolerable. I expected to be able to recommend it to folks who may not mind renting a no-brainer action flick. Unfortunately I can't recommend this film to any audience. This is a terrible effort and it shocks me Universal would be willing to put any money into its release. I am sure they will let it hit shelves and barely promote it, but the fact they spent any money in its creation is enough to feel bad.