P2 (DVD)

Damn, what a terrible film. It's no surprise this unimaginative mess was produced by the mind behind High Tension as Alexandre Aja also co-wrote this film with Gregory Levasseur and director Franck Khalfoun. However, I will say at least High Tension had some actual tension leading up to its miserable ending, and Aja redeemed himself with the Hills Have Eyes remake, but he obviously passed off some inferior work here to Khalfoun as this parking lot thriller is about as original as the countless number of uninspired horror films hitting theaters now days.

The film stars Rachel Nichols as a corporate muckety-muck who is staying late to finish up some work on Christmas Eve. At the end of the night everyone is gone and the basement parking lot is dark and empty. Her car. Won't start. The parking lot attendant (Wes Bentley) is a freak. He offers his help to no avail. Nichols goes upstairs, calls a cab, can't get out of the building because she is locked in and ends up going back down to the parking lot where her night of "terror" begins as Bentley abducts her and proceeds to torture her.

It's a blah-blah story and it even features a moment where, get this, her cell phone has no signal. Then, once she finds a signal, she - drops - her - phone! Argh! How frustrating, right? I mean, a guy wants to kill you and you finally get a cell phone signal and you drop the phone. Oh, I forgot to tell you she dropped it on the other side of a gate and couldn't reach it afterwards.

I have an idea for the suits at the studios. If you ever get a script and there is a phrase inside of it that reads something like, "And the cell phone can't get a signal," burn it immediately! Also, if the cops show up responding to a 911 call and the dialogue features something like, "No officer, nothing going on here, I am all by myself," never take a script from that writer seriously again.

P2 reads like amateur hour at the school for scripts. I didn't even take the time to watch any of the making of featurettes or listen to the audio commentary. What's the point of listening to someone you already don't respect after watching their film? None.