Material Girls (DVD)

Some films you just wonder... Why? The new Hilary and Haylie Duff comedy Material Girls is such a film. Playing two cosmetic company heiresses who lose their fortune and find themselves suddenly in the poorhouse, this picture is every bit as anemic and unfunny as you would have imagined it to be. It is a startling career low for a whole platoon of talented entertainers including director Martha Coolidge (Rambling Rose), actress Angelica Huston (an Oscar-winner for Prizzi's Honor) and actor Brent Spiner (Data on Star Trek: The Next Generation), and starting with a pathetic cover of Madonna's iconic classic song this one's a downer right from the get-go.

It is no wonder the thing wasn't screened for critics when it was released back in July. Considering its paltry take at the box office, it actually is a wonder MGM didn't just cut their losses and release the thing straight-to-video. Even then, after sitting through the whole thing - twice! I somehow managed to listen to all of Coolidge's banal commentary - I'm still hard-pressed to imagine who in their right mind would ever want to actually try and sit through the thing.

Okay, I realize at almost 30 I'm far older than this film's target tween girl audience. I totally get the fact that Duff's legions of fans would probably watch the young actress-slash-pop star doing just about anything. Heck, I'm even open to admitting the girl has some effervescent spunky charm that works far more for some people than it does for others. But even for them, I cannot begin to think Material Girls would ever be their idea of a good time, the movie so ponderous and monotonously dull going outside and playing with glass on the freeway probably a better way for a person to spend their hard-earned time.

As for the disc, MGM has released the film to DVD containing both Full Screen and Widescreen (1.85:1) presentations of the laughless comedy. Special features include Coolidge's aforementioned commentary, the theatrical trailer, a music video of Hilary's "Play with Fire," the promotional short "Getting to Know Hilary and Haylie as the Marchetta Sisters" and the behind-the-scenes featurette "Cast of Characters: The Making of Mean Girls." None of this is all that interesting, although listening to Huston try to explain why she decided to make the movie and watching her try and keep a straight face as she does so is probably the best laugh this whole enterprise has going for it.

Does the failure of Material Girls mean Hilary Duff's time at the top of the tween girl bandwagon has come to an end? Probably not. For all my knocks against her here I must admit to finding the young woman surprisingly delightful from time to time (her song "Break My Heart" is an infectious delight), and if she could ever find the right vehicle I'm quite positive she could make something good enough to put her right back within my good graces. But this movie certainly isn't it, and a couple more like it and any chance of career resurrection this one-time Disney darling has will be washed down the cinematic drain for good.