The Omen (DVD)

As pointless remakes go (and the words "remake" and "pointless" usually tend to go hand in hand), John Moore's (Behind Enemy Lines) almost shot-for-shot redo of The Omen has to rank pretty much right up at the top of the list. Screenwriter David Seltzer (Dragonfly) must have gotten paid for doing nothing, the team behind this supposed update following his and director Richard Donner's (Superman) 1976 template so closely and with so much reverence you'd think they were adapting Shakespeare.

Needless to say, this new version is a serious waste of time. Even with solid actors like Liev Schreiber (The Sum of All Fears) and Julia Stiles (The Prince & Me) taking over the roles made famous by Gregory Peck and Lee Remick, there is virtually no reason to watch this story of Satan's infant son discovering his birthright whatsoever. It's boring, a by the numbers horror thriller filled with the expected copious amounts of dripping blood and brutal eviscerations but forgetting the suspense which could have made it all palatable.

Granted, it's not a total loss. For the uninitiated this one is certainly serviceable. Better, Mia Farrow (Rosemary's Baby) is stupendous, turning in a wickedly sinister performance as an evil nanny intent on helping her young charge Damian (Seamus Davey-Fitzpatrick) make use of his hidden talents for death and destruction. She's a hoot, nailing her character with the precision of a seasoned pro and any interest The Omen circa 2006 holds is thanks in large part to her.

As weak as the film is, Fox's new DVD release of it is certainly exceptional. Not only is the Widescreen (1.85:1) transfer wonderful, the studio has packed this disc with special features far better than the main feature they support. There are the usual trailers (of which I have to give props to the team that assembled the seriously creepy teaser), unrated extended scenes, an over the top alternate ending, commentary from director Moore, producer Glenn Williamson (Hollywoodland) and editor Dan Zimmerman (Alien vs. Predator 2), and three behind-the-scenes featurettes.

The commentary isn't anything special (although the trio talking certainly seem to be enjoying themselves) but those three short documentaries certainly are. "Omenisms" is a video diary-like piece following the making of the picture, revealing insights and details of the filmmaking process usually not showcased so openly. "Abbey Road Sessions" involves the musical recording sessions, composer Marco Beltrami (Underworld: Evolution) toiling over every note and nuance while reveling the opportunity to work at the famed Abbey Road Studios once home to The Beatles.

But the best is a fun, informative and frequently unsettling bit of paranoia entitled "Revelation 666." This featurette follows the history and meanings of the 666 numerical marker, talking heads ranging from the filmmakers to religious scholars talking about its history and significance. There is nothing more obscenely silly than watching foul-mouthed Brit Moore make supposedly serious comments about the devil and the apocalypse and then have them followed by an arch ultraconservative pastor.

What's most amusing, though, isn't that this talking head piece is filled with a cast of commentators so dissimilar from one another, but that it is so damned entertaining and intellectually stimulating. It is a featurette that feels like it would be more at home on a PBS news show than it does on a DVD, the people putting it together doing a grand job of assembling a documentary worth watching instead of the movie it is unfortunately packaged with.

This, now that I think of it, probably isn't bad advice. Personally, I'd stay as far away from this new The Omen as humanly possible. It is a stupidly prepackaged unmistakably banal bore. The movie is a waste of time, a bland retread masquerading as a brand-spanking-new update of an old-school horror sensation.