Box-Office Oracle: Apr. 4 – Apr. 6, 2008

I just figured out who the ideal audience for this is. It's people in their 90s. They won't go on the internet to read the savage reviews and when they see it they'll be reminded of their youth because the jokes will all be the same. Perfect. However, it calls into question the marketing campaign. They should have been sending telegrams via Western Union.

Estimate: $16.2 million

Release a kiddie film, make some money. It's an equation as old as time.

Estimate: $15.3 million

Oddly someone is orchestrating a dig campaign to make 21 seem cool. Somehow every story on the box office success of 21 makes it to the top of the dug list. What gives? Did they pay you people off? Clearly this is a terrible film. Let it go.

Estimate: $11.5 million

I'm somewhat uneasy about giving $26m to children's fare… but what choice do I have? The numbers are the numbers. They never lie.

Estimate: $10.8 million

They've done well promoting the sex angle here. Now if only they could promote the "decent movie" angle. They'd be set!

Estimate: $6.9 million

I can only drop it 51.5%. Why? Well, at some point people have to see something right? There hasn't been a weekend where the box office made zilch, has there?

Estimate: $4.6 million

B-Luv made fun of me for last weekend's Oracle. But it was all stupid Stop-Loss that did it! Sigh. The Iraq war screwed me.

Estimate: $3.5 million

Lifeless. Vapid. Boring. Clumsy. Stupid. Just a few of the fun words I'd ascribe to Drillbit Taylor if you asked me nicely. Go ahead. Try me.

Estimate: $3.0 million

I'm having a stressful day at work. I feel like taking it out on someone. Yet, no puppy appears for me to kick. Curses.

Estimate: $2.3 million

Some folk have Stop-Loss here. Not me. I hate that friggin' movie. Let it burn. Ah, that feels better. I lashed out!

Estimate: $2.2 million