Read’em and weep and adore and idolize and plot my murder mother bitchies. I’ve got an Inauguration Day ticket, thanks to my friends Harley (aka Ryan) and Melissa and their pal Cory, courtesy of Iowa’s Republican Senator Chucky Grassley. Ohhh yeaaaah. I’ve gone rogue. I’ve gone republican. Time to scrub this blog of all my unpatriotic, terrorist sympathizing, libtard communist rants and bathe in the color red and go gay (on the unmarried, it’s a choice, down-low) for Toby Keith. MUAHAHAHAHAHA! I will sneak in the neo-con’s back door (in an umarrying, it’s a choice, down-low sort of way), stage a silent coup and rebuild the Republican Party in my own image. The bastards will never know what hit them, even as they’re signing off on universal healthcare and free DVD copies of Fahrenheit 9/11 for every American citizen.

Jesus God I’ve huffed too much WD-40 tonight. Vote Grassley! Time to tow this post back to reality. The reality being: I’VE GOT A FUCKING INAUGURATION TICKET!!! Huzzah! Vote Grassley! Actually since early October I’ve been planning on hitting up D.C. on January 20th. You know to witness history and stuff. Vote Grassley! You really only get once chance to say you were there when the First African-American President was sworn in–well, unless he wins a second term. However, I had no expectations to get tickets, knowing they’d be hotter than a Beatles Reunion tour with the resurrected zombies of John Lennon and George Harrison. Vote Grassley! So when I asked my Pennsylvania friends if I could crash at their fortress for my trip to D.C., I was shocked to hear these Obama supporters have a friend connected to a powerful Republican Senator from Iowa (Vote Grassley!), who could score us all tickets. Oh happy happy, joy joy indeed! Vote Grassley!

Actually, other than witnessing history, and apparently attending some parties afterwards due to their friend in Grassley’s office, I’m just happy to hang out with Harley and Melissa for a few days. I’ve only seen them for a total of 2 or 3 hours since they moved to PA a year and a half ago. So that shall be nice.

Oh and to rub it in…

I’m finished.