Democratic Convention!

The Dark Knight on IMAX!!

Playstation 3 Arriving!!!

First Iowa Football game/loss of the Season!!!!

Drinking Beer at 8 a.m. while tailgating for First Iowa Football game/loss of the Season!!!!!

I can barely contain myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m finished.

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This is another reason why I hate people, especially video game freaks. I know I’m counting down the days until my PS3 arrives, but I could never see myself being this pathetic–if so, it be time to mix detergents in a small closet.

If you’re playing a game for 18 hours for ANY reason (and to the point of becoming physically ill) you are a Loser.

If you drop out of high school to pursue a career in playing Guitar Hero, you are not only an all-cap LOSER, you are a mental defect that makes a fool-proof case for the benefits of abortion. And frankly, this “mother” wins the “Dumbass Douche ‘Mom’ of the Year” award. Can’t you just imagine this broad saying “We couldn’t take the complaining any more” with a trailer-trashy backwoods southern accent.

Jackoffs like this make it okay to mock people. It’s too easy. And utterly righteous. You’d be neglecting your God-given duty not to openly mock morons like this.

I’m finished

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Fuck this Shit!

I’m finished.

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Hey guys, next time don’t worry so much about keeping a lowly reporter like me from revealing that Mulder has a beard. Oh wait, there won’t be a next time. Way to go guys, you just killed The X-Files franchise with one of the shittiest films of the year. 

Funnier than a lightening bolt to Jesus’ cock. Yes, that is funny.

Underwhelming but likable. But overall, still didn’t like it.

Three cheers for not catering to morons. Only thing funnier than Tropic Thunder, the best comedy of the year, is the controversy that has been manufactured by groups too retarded slow mentally disabled touched by angels to notice the film’s nuance in which it actually advocates their philosophy. Now that’s going full retard. 

I’m finished.

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Okay so for the few of you who read this thing occasionally, you may have noticed I’ve been a tad quiet for a few weeks (yeah I’m talking to you Mr. Achey), except for a couple of obits. A few reasons. One, I came back from San Diego Comic Con to a shit storm of busy at my real job. Very tired. No mood to write lately. Two, I guess some hacker or something placed some advertising code on my blog for boner drugs, which forced Google to take me off of their search list engine thingy (yes, that’s the technical term). Well, that’s a horrible, ignorant, factually weak explanation, but I think that’s the basic gist as I was told. So since only about 3 people were hitting the blog per day (which is like half as many as normal!!!) after I was removed, I decided to wait until the issue was fixed. Although, before that thingy was installed a couple of months ago and raised my hits somewhat, I essentially wrote the majority of my blog posts for an audience of 4…but ignorance was bliss, and now that I know my stats, I’m a slave to them. Oh, and the code for the boner medicine never showed any sort of advertisement on the blog. Assholes didn’t even buy me dinner.

As for San Diego. Hurm. Well, I was happy I went. Happy to meet plenty of people, including Bossman Brad. You should at least hit it up once in your life. Live the madness. Swim in the weird. Yet, I don’t deny I came away with mixed feelings about the whole event. The articles I wrote while there were done in the hyperbolic persona of a man fearful for his life, a disgusted cynic. Partially true, but not to the degree that the voice comes off as. I was absolutely fascinated with the people there. And occasionally when I saw a couple, totally dressed up in something (like Mr. and Mrs. Incredible for example), holding hands or whatever, I found it sort of heartwarming. Yet, at the same time there is level of desperate attention-whoring on display that boggles the mind. The whole thing is one madcap whorehouse–and I’m not just talking about the girls wearing next to nothing. Everyone is selling. 

But anyway. Let’s avoid the ranting.

I’m finished.

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Isaac Hayes, The Duke of New York, is dead. Damn. I feel like this blog is turning into an obit column lately. If you’re a cool celeb and don’t want to die, I think it’s time to make yourself uncool and unpopular. Molest a child and move to the Middle-East or something. It worked for Michael Jackson.

I’m finished.

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Bernie Mac, a funny muthafucka as he would say, is gone at the age of 50. I discovered Bernie Mac when some buddies and I saw The Original Kings of Comedy back in college. His act was the film’s show stopper. Pure unfiltered, fuck PC brilliance. This was a guy who made talking about slapping annoying kids in the heads with hammers hilarious. Comedy like that makes the world a better place. The void Mac leaves makes the world a worse place.

I’m finished.

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