So last night was the Oscars. I found it very strange that I was sort of (in the tiniest possible way) rooting against No Country For Old Men. No, “rooting against it” is terrible phrasing. I was rooting for There Will Be Blood. There that’s better. For context: There Will Be Blood is my favorite film of 2007 and yep #2 is No Country For Old Men–and the difference between the 2 is the vote of one super-delegate. So yeah, I’m still ecstatic that No Country For Old Men won and the Coen Brothers won (fucking finally!!!!!). And I’m glad Daniel Day-Lewis won otherwise I’d have flipped a school bus full of children over in protest.

But to be honest, if it was the Franker Awards, There Will Be Blood would have won for Best Picture and Directing. But nonetheless, Paul Thomas Anderson has made nothing but brilliant films (with the exception of Hard 8, I’d argue all of his films are masterpieces), so I’m sure his time will come. And I’m happy the Coen Bros won for the best film they’ve ever made (which is saying something). I hate it when great filmmakers/actors win just because it’s time to give them their due–FUCK YOU if you say The Departed, that’s up there with Marty’s best work.

Anyway, here’s a few pics and highlights–I cribbed these off the site.

Viggo and what I assume he’s going to kind of look like in The Road!!! Yes, I know I’m way too excited about a beard. But anything with the film adaptation of The Road and I’m on top of it like a frat guy on a passed out doll. But more on this soon.

This was by far the best “moment” of the night. Even if Jon Stewart had completely bombed, his act of bringing back Marketa Irglova on to the stage earned him Host for Life tenure as far as I’m concerned. This was just fucking awesome.

Yeah, I’m not a big fan of the La Vie en Rose. But Marion Cotillard was the tits in it. And literally the tits last nightt. God she was radiant. Although, admittedly Diablo Cody’s style is more along my tastes. Speaking of Diablo Cody…..

I have mixed feelings about her. I can’t deny her acceptance speech felt sincerely heartfelt, which is sort of the opposite vibe I pick up from her in interviews and her writing. Yet, I still don’t know. Other than the great feeling she gives me in my pants, I don’t buy into her look-at-me, self-conscious image–despite being physically attracted to it. But what the hell, she’s the Hillary Clinton of Emo Panda chicks, opening the door for the 40 million other Emo Panda myspacers out there. Plus she has a book, a hit movie, a fucking Oscar, and her blog is way more witty than this piece of drivel–so who am I to judge?

With that said, I’m sharing some of Oscar winner Diablo Cody’s thoughts on the Oscars directly from her blog. I got a feeling this may come and haunt her very very soon…Also in regards to the first post here, I have to say I’d take Natalie Portman any day over Cody, and Cody’s attire was nothing to brag about last night. Not that I’m ever going to regret some of things I’ve written though.

2/28/2005

“What a shame Natalie Portman didn’t win the Best Supporting Actress trophy last night. I was so looking forward to hearing another saccharine speech declaring Mike Nichols to be “the best daddy ever.” The bile spikes in my throat. Can you imagine a male actor of similar stature making such an ingratiatingly creepy statement? Besides, as I’ve said before, I prefer toothy Keira Knightley to her boring, highly regarded doppelganger. …

Other than the minor misfortune which befell Ms. Portman (did you notice her slightly bloated, tear-stained visage when she presented later on?), I thought the Oscar telecast was a first-class snooze. Virginia Madsen looked appealingly blowsy; she’s the non-brain-injured man’s Melanie Griffith. The severed Oscar parts arranged onstage made a ghastly tableau (was that a tribute to the cinematic tour-de-Dorff that was Saw?) I liked seeing Sean “Puffy” Combs up there doing the wide-eyed earnest naif routine he tends to affect at Hollywood events. “So this is the Oscars!” Whatever, Puff. You’ve been linked to multiple shootings and routinely eject A-listers from your parties; I highly doubt an awards show has your undies in a twist. I think he thinks that if he behaves in a non-threatening, aw-shucks manner, he’ll get offered more movie roles. Hitch, he aint. Puffy is the inverse of Justin Timberlake in that he’s a stone cold thug and desperately wants to seem innocuous.

I was very pleased that Hilary Swank and her conspicuous ass cleavage won another Oscar. Would I be a jerk if I said it was because I don’t like Annette Bening? I just don’t. Maybe I’m jealous; she effortlessly tamed a famous womanizer (Warren, duh), had like four of his babies, and has still managed to maintain a successful career playing shrieking harridans. She always looks so smug and cool. You know Annette Bening never looks in the mirror and thinks “Do I look butch with my hair like this?” even if she has reason to be concerned.”

3/6/06

Hooray for Hollywood, and all that self-congratulatory treacle!…Anyway, I know I usually have lots of sardonic bile to spew about the Oscars. And you guys lick it up all nice and slow-like, ’cause you’re awesomely nasty bitches. But see, this year, I’m actually a cog in the Magic Machine, and I would never bite the hand that slowly, seductively feeds me. Besides, I could wind up writing for some of the actors I’d mock. Wouldn’t that be awkward? I mean, I’m already afraid that someday I’ll meet Virginia Madsen and she’ll say “I read on the Internet that you masturbate to Candyman.“

I’m finished.

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So, I’m pretty much bored at work at the moment. What’s the deal with that? I haven’t had this feeling of not having much to do for several months. Too bad I know this isn’t going to last long…better enjoy it

This week was all about getting a lot of shit done. You know what I’ve gotten done outside of work? Jack Shit! I’m pathetic. I’ve spent most of my evenings this week either watching 24, Ghost Hunters, or napping. It’s always like this in winter and summer. Winter I’m too depressed to work up the urge to do anything. And in the summer, the heat sucks the energy out of me. Luckily, I’m a fucking energizer bunny during the spring and fall seasons–gotta love mild temps.

So I’m reeeeaaaaallllly gotta work my ass off this weekend. Lots of transcribing and writing. Going to lock myself in the office and get to it…right after I finish watching…

I saw The Savages last night.

Now I’ve seen all the major nominees except the The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (please come here soon). However, it wasn’t the best time to watch this movie. It really parallels some news regarding my own estranged father the other day. So yeah. Good movie though.

I’m finished.

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Gas is above 3 bucks again. I so want to get a vehicle with better gas milage. Amanda and I bought a 06 Civic last year (our 1st big purchase as a married couple), but it’s essentially her car. I drive a 98 Toyota Tacoma 4×4–less than 20 mpg She doesn’t like to drive it, unless she has to. So I have to drive 30 miles to Iowa City everyday in it. It’s been bloody brilliant for this winter. And frankly that’s the reason why I’m keeping it. In Iowa, you need a  4×4 vehicle. To not have one would be liking living in Houston, TX, without an air conditioner. Sure, you can survive. But it sucks not to have one. So yeah, I’m stuck with the Road Warrior II (as I call it) for the forseeable future…paying gas out of my ass.  

Remember when $2.00 a gallon was a gigantic rip? Damn.

I’m finished.
 

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I know I’m late on this. Yet, I saw this image on my buddy’s blog. He’s a master’s student at NIU. I feel like showing some support since this tragedy is something that has appeared to really, and understandably, shaken him up from the phone convo and emails we’ve had the last few days. The shooting is literally the first thing I heard about when I walked off the plane in Cedar Rapids last Thursday and after a few days of staying in a luxourious hotel way beyond my means with Hollywood types it was a brutal wake up call to reality. I called Will while still in the terminal. I’m one of those anxiety types who worries, often illogically, about the possible loss of a friend or loved one. Obviously, he was physically okay, otherwise I wouldn’t be wasting time with a blog right now. 

I know people and the media want to make sense of this…but there is no sense to this. None. Looking for it only leads to madness.

I’m finished.

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Half an inch of ice and 5 inches of snow. Fuck me.

Also my wife, Amanda, is officially addicted to 24. That is the awesome. What is not the awesome is that 24 has been delayed until next January. Since I watch it on DVD, that means TWO FUCKING YEARS until I witness the next JACK BAUER 24 HOURS OF POWER!!!!! That blows inflatable hotdog dicks. Amanda has threatened to DVR or watch the show weekly next January, which would suck for me since I’d get roped into the weekly watching of it and have 7 days between episodes. That’s like a heroin addict going 7 days without a fix.  Even if I store 12 episodes and watch it like well, then I have to still wait to store up more. Fuck that. I like watching it on DVD. 

 Anyways.

For Valentine’s Day, I received the Juno soundtrack (and Gone Baby Gone).

Then today I bought the There Will Be Blood soundtrack.

 All of that is the awesome. And really, both of the art on these CDs are framable. Especially, the There Will Be Blood one. Quite beautiful.

Okay, Amanda is passed out on the couch. I should probably throw her over my shoulder and lay her down in bed. And since it’s midnight, I should probably stop writing too.

 I’m finished.

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No Seriously, I’m back. Canada was a good time despite the numerous traveling issues to get there–damn weather. Damn United–it was the 2nd time in a row they’ve left my damn luggage in Chicago…although the 1st time was on the way home from Cancun so it wasn’t a big deal. This time though, I had no clothes in my carry-on. So yeah. Luckily they smelled good the next day still. But I’m A FUCKING IDIOT. For now own I travel as light as possible and everything goes carry on. Otherwise can’t speak much about the trip upon penalty of death. Hopefully in few weeks or couple of months, you all get to hear the story.

 Anyways I got a lot of work ahead of me in both transcribing, writing…and my real job–(I had more emails to go through than I care to think about). Now I must take a hot shower and get ready for my honey to come home from work so we can do some sweet lovin’–it’s Valentine’s day afterall…actually I’ll probably be passed out by the time she gets home.

I’m finished.

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Blizzard again. Went in at 5am to so I could leave at 1pm and beat the storm and take Amanda to work since she hates driving in this shit. But that means I have to pick her up at 10 in the middle of this stuff. Expecting 1 foot of snow. I’m going to have to dig out my truck.

Listening to MSNBC for Super Tuesday coverage. I love Chris Matthews. The guy is non-stop hyperbole. I’m an Obama man. But as for the republicans…I don’t know but here’s the deal. I’m rooting for McCain b/c  he’s some what of an open-minded guy…although over the last few years he’s gone sort of bat shit, and he’s definitely a total panderer now, as opposed to 2000. Part of me believes he doesn’t believe half the shit he says these days and is just trying to get the right-wing Christian vote, then he’ll cast them aside if he won. That’s me being optimistic. However, if he wins the Republican nomination I believe he has the best chance of the Republican candidates to win the White House. Don’t want that. However, the idea of Romney or Huckabee being the Presidential Nominee for the Republicans literally scares the shit out of me. These guys are fucking nuts (especially Huckabee). And even the slightest idea of them ending up as the President strikes the fear in me. The FEAR!!!!

For no good reason I’m posting this pic of me in my friend’s coat. She’s like a size 1. SO this is really a fat man in a little woman’s coat. I look like I’m taking a shit. And yes I’m full of saki.

 I’m finished.

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I’m a gigantic Mystery Science Theater 3ooo fan. If you were to graph my hyper-interest in movies it would take a big upswing around 15 years ago when I discovered MST3K. I’d also say the show defined my type of sense of humor for the most part, and helped me become kind of quick quip sort of douche–my friends and I still purposely watch awful (and sometimes good) movies just to out zing the other guy. And other than being one of the funniest shows on TV (one that I wish was in syndication around here), I believe it also had one of the great series finales. Plus the film is hilarious too.

Anyway, I’m really happy now that the folks behind MST3k have split off into two separate direct-to-DVD projects that essentially do the same sort of comedy, but minus robots. You have Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett doing The Film Crew. And now we have Joel Hodgson, Trace Beaulieu, J. Elvis Weinstein, Mary Jo Pehl, and Frank Conniff doing Cinematic Titanic.  I own The Film Crew’s Hollywood After Dark and plan to buy the rest soon. It’s solid.

 I just got the 1st Cinematic Titanic tape in today and I plan to drink some left over party beer and watch it tonight. I can’t wait!!!! My only problem with Cinematic Titanic is that it came to me exactly as pictured below.

Yep it came pretty much as a disc in a paper envelope…sort of like Netflix movies. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure this thing will be well worth the money, plus the one thing I like about Cinematic Titanic that Film Crew lacks is silhouettes on the screen (that really makes it close to MST3K, but again minus robots). However, for 15 bucks, I’d at least expect a damn case. So I guess I gotta make my own.

I’m finished

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The Patriots lost. Sort of shocked. It seemed like in the end they were going to prove once again why they’re the greatest clutch team in NFL history…but Manning one upped them. I was sort of cheering for The Patriots since I’ve always wanted to see a NFL perfect season (in my opinion the hardest, as tonight proved, and greatest sports record in history). But at the same time, it’s not much fun when it’s a dynasty team. Also Randy Moss being on the team along with the cheato-cam from earlier this season has left a bad taste in my mouth. However, when Belichick walked off the field before the last play, I was kind of glad they lost–even though I’ve always thought Eli Manning is a punk ass bitch compared to his brother. Anyways Belichick = gigantic douche in my book now. and I’m thoroughly anti-Patriots for now on.

As for the movie commercials. Ok. Iron Man was cool. But overall none of them blew me away. There were several decent to great regular commercials, I personally dug the one with Shaq as a jockey. However, holy shit, those Sales Genie commercials. My brother-in-law-in-law and I were jaw-dropped flabbergasted. They were outright racist! I mean my god! I felt like I had entered some time warp to the 1940s or something. I’m sure there will be a lot of talk about them tomorrow, and Sales Genie probably was going for any news is good news sort of publicity stunt. But really, having your company labeled as racist is the dumbest marketing decision in the history of prominent marketing. This will be interesting.

I’m finished.

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The Patriots will probably win tomorrow, securing them as the greatest football team in the history of the NFL. I’ve only been waiting for this since I started paying attention to football 20 years ago.

We’re having some family over since I got the big screen HDTV and all. Should be a nice time. However, like everyone else, I’m all about the commercials, particularly the movie ones–last year was incredibly disappointing. However, I know of Iron Man, Chronicles of Narnia and Wanted will be for sure…otherwise I haven’t heard about others (obviously I’m hoping for The Dark Knight–unlikely though, unless it’ll focus on Two Face or Batman instead of the Joker–and Indiana Jones, which is equally unlikely since the trailer is coming out Valentine’s Day, but maybe we’ll get The Incredible Hulk…I just hope I don’t miss it like I did for Hulk a couple of years ago…funny story, I was so pumped up to see the Superbowl commerical for Hulk. Could have cared less about that year’s game. And I was telling everybody how the commericial for Hulk was all I cared about, and sure enough Amanda asked me to go and get something from the car and that’s when the commercials came on right when I left the house and goddamn I missed the commercial…I’ve never quite forgiven her for that).

I’m finished.

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