Hey Edward Cullen, Louis Tully is on the phone and he wants his eyes back.
BY: David Frank |
November 23rd 2008
The film adaptation of Twilight looks like the year’s best comedy. A laugh a minute, I hear. I might even swallow my pride and catch it this morning, just so I know what every 13-year-old girl and 45-year-old romance-starved, lonely mother is talking about tomorrow. Although, I’m getting a vibe that I’ve already seen much of Twilight already. I don’t know why… well regardless, here’s some random pictures. No meaning behind them at all. None whatsoever.
HA!!! Joe Scarborough, who I have a secret gay-conservative crush on, just said “Fuck you” (rather than eff-you) on live air and didn’t even realize it, despite the nervous giggling from everybody and their mom and the producers probably screaming “WHAT THE FUCK JOE!!?!?” in his ear piece.
Going out of your flippin’ skull waiting for Election night results? Can’t go the internet or surf TV without checking Polls every two minutes? Yet, still can’t break your need for relevant politics? After all, you are a junky.
Well, then I suggest you find a copy of Hunter S. Thompson’s brilliant “Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ‘72.” I’ve been re-reading it as my potty-book for the last couple of weeks, and the I’m dumbfounded by how relevent it is to the 2008 election. The book is essentially a diary of George McGovern’s doomed presidential campaign against Dick Nixon, as seen through Thompson in a year-long series of articles he wrote for Rolling Stone. And it’s amazing how the successful McGovern campaign of the primaries was almost exactly like Barack Obama’s campaign (and even fell into a similar situation that we saw occur between Obama and Hillary Clinton), while John McCain’s campaign has followed the same self-destructive pattern that was McGovern’s post-convention presidential campaign. The similarities are just just…well, shit, I really can’t believe how much this book mirrors the current election.
With special time-traveling guest, the John McCain of 2000
BY: David Frank |
November 2nd 2008
If you would have told me last spring “Saturday Night Live” would kick ass this season, I would have giggled quite loudly in your face, which would have topped the number of laughs that SNL gave me last season. When a Christopher Walken hosted episode fails, then you know it’s a terrible year. But thanks to the election, SNL has exploded with the funny this season. So here’s a little break from all the villainy and degenerates I’ve been writing about. These videos are from the November 1st episode, hosted by Ben Affleck (probably a future president if he does go into politics…I’m not kidding, he could be the Democrat’s Ronnie Reagan) with special guest appearances by the John McCain of 2000 (the one I like) and his wife.
But first, Affleck’s Keith Olbermann skit. You see I like Keith Olbermann of MSNBC’s “Countdown with Keith Olbermann.” All in all, he’s MSNBC’s answer to douchecock doofus Sean Hannity (except Olbermann is smarter and funnier and not a complete mental defect). Yes yes, most point to the Olbermann/Bill O’Reilly rivalry, but in terms of pure ideological robotics, Olbermann and Hannity are wire much more alike. Anyway, this skit is hilarious as Affleck doesn’t so much impersonates Olbermann as much as Olbermann possesses Affleck. Great stuff.
Okay, now onto the Special Guest appearance by the John McCain of 2000. If this was the McCain of the entire 2008 election (funny, loose, self-deprecating, not a fucking bitter desperate asshole), I wouldn’t find him so despicable. I have never denied that I liked the John McCain of 2000. Although the more I’ve found out about him over the last few months, I doubt I would have chosen him over Al Gore (which I’ve said in the past was a possibility). I just don’t believe he has the judgement or intelligence to lead, and that would have probably been my conclusion also in a hypothetical Gore v. McCain race. Sadly though, I think the John McCain of 2008 is probably closer to the real man: A bitter, irrational jerk. How sad. But nonetheless, enjoy these two clips. They are quite funny.
And how about one bonus clip, an interview with the McCains backstage. The only reason I’m showing this is because it has an air of candidness displayed here that the McCains have guarded against revealing in these final weeks of campaigning. It’s not in the words they’re saying, but in the body language and tone of their voices. You can smell the stench of defeat coming off of them. It’s impossible to read this video as showing anything but a couple who know they’re on the Titanic and all boats have sailed away.
Remember those Budweiser commercials a few years back that made every fucking douchebag rummy in the free world lose their remaining brain cells and start screaming Whaaaasssssup!!!!! in bars, churches and funeral homes?
Well they’re back. I see this as some repentance for unleashing one of the dumbest, most obnoxious catch-phrases on a stupid parroting nation of moronic drunks.
Yes, the Whasssssup guys are for Obama. This is a nice piece of satire. And as funny as this short film is, it’s also sort of poignant.
Yeah, I’m a Star Wars nut. And I’d totally hang this in my living room. It’s a pretty larger banner–6 feet across. Some geekier-than-I nerd at Rutgers made it (http://eden.rutgers.edu/~avinator/starwars/). He based it off his roomates painting (which a picture of is too damn big for me to upload and make a thumbnail of…but you can find it by clicking on a link from the link above. Yeah you could totally call these guys out on so many things…but really. Let’s just be cool and say job well done, job well done good sirs. Now go get laid.
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