Just when I think I’m warming up to Mikey “I Rock the Bass for God” Huckabee, he goes and says something so atrocious that I wish his God would get on with the Rapture and relieve us of his presence. The guy has a decent sense of humor, but I don’t think he was joking when he spouted the following toad shit on The View:

“People who are homosexuals should have every right in terms of their civil rights, to be employed, to do anything they want. But that’s not really the issue. I know you talked about it and I think you got into it a little bit early on. But when we’re talking about a redefinition of an institution, that’s different than individual civil rights. We’re never going to convince each other…But here is the difference. Bull Connor was hosing people down in the streets of Alabama. John Lewis got his skull cracked on the Selma bridge.”

Getting beyond the mind-numbing contradiction of his statement–”homosexuals should have every right in terms of their civil rights, to be employed, to do anything they want (unless of course they want to marry one another, fuck that shit Yaweh style)”–Huckabee displays a sickening level of callow ignorance here. Hmm yes, obviously Gay Bashing is a figment of the liberal media’s imagination, just like evolution and the First Amendment.

Apparently Huckabee forgot about the late Harvey Milk or Matthew Shepard (among the thousands of homosexuals murdered in the last quarter of a century). Or perhaps he thinks they were just a couple of queers who forgot to avoid bullets, fists, and fences.

I’m finished.

Filed under: Bitching, Politics: Alabama, Bull Connor, Civil Rights Movement, Gay marriage, Gay Rights Movement, Harvey Milk, John Lewis, Matthew Shepard, Mike Huckabee, The View

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Read’em and weep and adore and idolize and plot my murder mother bitchies. I’ve got an Inauguration Day ticket, thanks to my friends Harley (aka Ryan) and Melissa and their pal Cory, courtesy of Iowa’s Republican Senator Chucky Grassley. Ohhh yeaaaah. I’ve gone rogue. I’ve gone republican. Time to scrub this blog of all my unpatriotic, terrorist sympathizing, libtard communist rants and bathe in the color red and go gay (on the unmarried, it’s a choice, down-low) for Toby Keith. MUAHAHAHAHAHA! I will sneak in the neo-con’s back door (in an umarrying, it’s a choice, down-low sort of way), stage a silent coup and rebuild the Republican Party in my own image. The bastards will never know what hit them, even as they’re signing off on universal healthcare and free DVD copies of Fahrenheit 9/11 for every American citizen.

Jesus God I’ve huffed too much WD-40 tonight. Vote Grassley! Time to tow this post back to reality. The reality being: I’VE GOT A FUCKING INAUGURATION TICKET!!! Huzzah! Vote Grassley! Actually since early October I’ve been planning on hitting up D.C. on January 20th. You know to witness history and stuff. Vote Grassley! You really only get once chance to say you were there when the First African-American President was sworn in–well, unless he wins a second term. However, I had no expectations to get tickets, knowing they’d be hotter than a Beatles Reunion tour with the resurrected zombies of John Lennon and George Harrison. Vote Grassley! So when I asked my Pennsylvania friends if I could crash at their fortress for my trip to D.C., I was shocked to hear these Obama supporters have a friend connected to a powerful Republican Senator from Iowa (Vote Grassley!), who could score us all tickets. Oh happy happy, joy joy indeed! Vote Grassley!

Actually, other than witnessing history, and apparently attending some parties afterwards due to their friend in Grassley’s office, I’m just happy to hang out with Harley and Melissa for a few days. I’ve only seen them for a total of 2 or 3 hours since they moved to PA a year and a half ago. So that shall be nice.

Oh and to rub it in…

I’m finished.

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This is good stuff.

I’m finished.

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Among many things, last night was a wonderful one for African-Americans. One more step towards the complete realization of Martin Luther King Jr.’s dream. However if you’re a homosexual, last night was another shameful step backwards for this country.

Arizona and Florida banned gay marriage. Arkansas banned unmarried couples from being foster or adoptive parents. It was made explicitly clear that the Arkansas proposition was aimed at gays, who obviously can’t get married in the backasswards world of retardity and pigfuckers that is Arkansas. And now it appears that California, one of the few states where gay marriage is was allowed, has passed Proposition 8, banning loving gay couples from getting hitched and somehow staining the sanctity of marriage that we breeders have kept so polished with our 50%+ divorce rate.

I’m sickened.

Yes, one of the most liberal states in the union just banned gay marriage. And you can thank the oh so tolerant in a fascist way Mormon Church. Yep, Utah crapped thousands of Mormons into California to raise support for Proposition 8 and it apparently worked. This was their version of The Domino Theory gone gay: If one state goes homo, why it could spread to us too. GASP! After all, it is a communicable disease, so says our Pluto god.

This is wrong on so many levels. When will America wake up and realize that the Gay Rights Movement is the Civil Rights Movement of our time? You’re either marching in Birmingham or opening the faucet on the firehoses.

I’m finished.

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Have no delusions about tomorrow. It will suck. And so will the day after and the day after that. The economy will evaporate for sometime more before it rains again. Wars continue. Our enemies remain strong and determined. From the exploding national debt to our failing education system and every problem between and beyond within our borders, tough, troubling times lie ahead. Easy solutions do not exist. Of the two choices, America chose the person best equipped to formulate smart, rational strategies to overcome such challenges. I have no doubts a McCain (and possibly Palin) administration would have knee-capped this nation beyond repair. Last night, we all won. Yet, make no mistake, President-Elect Barack Obama is just one man. Within my lifetime, I do not remember a man ushered into the White House with such hype and unreachable expectations (much of it his own campaign’s doing). To think he can vaporize all of these crippling problems overnight is simply stupid. Even with a Democratic majority in Congress, I expect no miracles. It is quite possible President Obama and the Democratic Congress could fail. And if they do, then… damn, expect a quick resurgence of the Republican Party. Yet, like I did on the eve of election night, I remain Cautiously Optimistic.

And heed this: what the pundits say today about the Republican party–it’s teetering into oblivion–mirrors their remarks on the Democratic Party in 2004. These things move in cycles. And they swing violently as the last 4 years prove. My only hope is the return of the Republican Party will be preceded with a purging of the Sarah Palinites (the new Bushies), the anti-intellectuals, the irrationalists, hate-mongers, budget-busters, and Christian-right fascists. I hope the party of Barry Goldwater returns.

Yet, today. Celebrate. It could be quite sometime before we get a chance to do so again.

I’m finished.

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WE ALL WIN!

I AM NOT FINISHED!

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Over the last 8 years, the Bush Administration displayed the sort of ignorant irrationality one would expect from a slack-jawed yokel toasting waffles in the bathtub. Down-right stupidity, arrogance, and the abolishment of dissention goose-stepped this nation into a quagmire of over-lapping and increasingly complex problems. These are complicated times. And they require an extraordinary person capable of more than superficial nonsense.

I will fight this. I will fight that. I will fight (fill in the blank). Screaming that you will bare-knuckle brawl an abstract issue is not a solution. It’s not even a tactic. It’s akin to sparring with an imaginary friend. I know how to fix this. I know how to fix that. I know how to fix (fill in the blank). Stating you know how to fix a problem while simultaneously showing you lack any profound understanding of said problem only proves you really don’t know how to fix the problem. I’m a maverick. She’s a maverick. We’re mavericks. Calling yourself a character from Top Gun doesn’t make it so. I’m a goose. She’s a goose. We’re geese. Guess what, I’m still not a goose.

John McCain is not a bright man. He graduated 894 out of a class of 899 at the Naval Academy. His answers to reporters’ questions often verge on Forrest Gump simplism. The opinions of Sarah Palin makes John McCain seem like Jimmy Carter in comparison. Never once has she answered a question that gave any hint she possesses the critical thinking skills required of your average Burger King fry cook. She is the embodiment of the sad anti-intellectualism movement sweeping across this country. John McCain and Sarah Palin are dumb people. Intellectual lightweights. And our two wars, stained international reputation, garbage economy, reduced constitutional rights, and the horrorshow of post-Hurricane Katrina were the fruits of a nation governed by dumb people. The United States of America cannot afford 4 more years of mindless fools driving the bus.

While I feel that Barack Obama’s plans for the economy, healthcare, national security, etc. are better for the country than McCain’s, my vote for Barack Obama stemmed mainly from two admirable qualities he exudes: Wisdom and Vision. Obama is a man of stunning intellect, rationality, and calm steadiness. From the Iraq War through the current Economic implosion, Obama, a magna cum laude Harvard Law graduate, exhibited the wisdom, temperament, and good judgement that characterizes great leaders. Unlike McCain or Palin, Obama appears not to just notice a problem alone (and then declares he can fight it in a make-believe boxing match), but rather he examines the issue and its root causes before developing solutions. He personifies exactly what has been lacking in the Bush Administration. Pragmatism.

Scary, uncertain times call for a person with vision. John F. Kennedy was such a man. For America to progess forward it requires inspiration, an idea instilling hope in us all that as a nation we can solve the daunting problems our country faces, that a possible future exists in defiance of today’s rampant pessimism. Unlike McCain who only offered petty, vile smears bundled with fear-mongering in lieu of leadership or vision, Obama speaks to the very best of the American character and how it is an agent for positive movement within the world. Is it flowery and uncynical? Yes. But so what? Great leaders stir the world with their words.

I’m finished.

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Between skimming message boards on politics news and checking in with Fox News, I’ve noticed one thing. Watching Conservatives on the eve of a likely stomping is like watching someone slowly drown a cage full of rabid weasels. They’re going fucking nuts. We are witnessing a complete and utter mental collapse of human decency and brain functionality on a massive scale. It’s an awesome, yet awful, sight to behold. I need some popcorn.

I can understand those who believe McCain may win just barely. Fair enough. Yet, there are people out their who swear up and down that this is a landslide in the making…for a McCain win. HAHAHAHA! Crazies. They’re a hoot. It reminds me of a quote from Bad Santa: “Wish in one hand. Shit in the another. See which fills up first.”

I’m finished.

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Madelyn Dunham, Barack Obama’s grandmother, who he has credited as one of the most influential forces in his life died today. As always, Obama spoke of her death with poignancy.

I’m finished.

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We liberals are a cynical bunch when it comes to elections. Doom fiends, honestly, always looking to the sky nervously waiting for Thor’s hammer to strike. Yet, it’s time to mix in the rationality with the anxiety and stir vigorously.

I’m cautiously optimistic Barack Obama will win Tomorrow night/Wednesday morning. This is the current rationality.

Yes, despite ALL polls and the three major tracking sites (538, Real Clear Politics, and Pollster) showing Obama ahead both nationally and within key states I still must build a backdoor into my prediction. I AM CAUTIOUSLY OPTIMISTIC. After all, I was blindly optimistic about John Kerry’s chances four years ago. And that rotten puppet Bush and his goon-squad of demented sleaze-sick geniuses broke me like a guitar in the hands of Pete Townhend. I will not allow that to happen again. If John McCain pulls off the Greatest Upset in Election History (and there is no other way to label a McCain win), I will not weep, I will not break, I will continue. That is all one can do.

So could McCain pull off the Greatest Upset in Election History, despite losing all three debates, choosing an absolute imbecile as a VP lifemate, and running one of the most crippled, incompetent campaigns in modern history? Sure. Miracles and jaw-dropping surprises happen. Of course if McCain wins then every major pollster and number-runner and even Karl Rove would have to be wrong, almost every pundit would have to be wrong, the Bradley Effect would have to be proven true and overpowering, and Democrats (which greatly outnumber Republicans) would have to stay home in vast numbers.

It would be an EPIC FAIL across the board. The most humiliating defeat in a long line of gang-stomps of the Democratic Party. The expected swelling of Democrats in Congress would only provide a band-aid for a shotgun wound. However, even though McCain swears everyone is wrong (because he has to or otherwise he admits defeat, which no candidate would do before election day) except for him (we have the right numbers, we got That One right where we want him), I doubt very much we’re seeing a mirage here.

Egat! This post has rambled for longer than I imagined. All I wanted to do was lay down some predictions in a rather simple fashion. How about we get to those, eh. These are from the gut and perhaps battle the stats a tad.

*Obama will win between 300 and 330 of the electoral vote. He will win 3-5% of the popular vote. I expect no landslides. Although I’ll remain drunk through Christmas if Obama does surf to victory on one.

*My blog will be back to posting pics of hotties by Friday at the latest…and I may actually go to a movie, which I’ve strangely avoid for several weeks now.

I’m finished.

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