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Meal and Alcohol Service |
This is the one that I wasn't sure about, but it isn't because I wouldn't want it, it's because I wouldn't want other people to have it. You see, meals and alcohol encourage a few things:
- Noise (includes belching, chewing, silverware, etc.)
- Peeing (alcohol has a very short in-body lifespan)
- Distractions (waiter and waitress staff serving has to be annoying)
- Drunks (alcohol causes people to get drunk, and drunk people are loud, not a good mix with movies)
I have been told these things really aren't an issue at theaters where this is already something like this in place. However, I think a few of my following items would alleviate a few, if not all, of my concerns.
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No Late Entry |
One of my biggest pet peeves is people who are late and at a movie this is a MAJOR distraction. You see, once the movie starts the theater goes dark. So, some jerky coming in when the lights are down and three of the 300 seats available are left open and they begin their search absolutely no one wins.
Of course there should be a window, but a very small one. Once that movie starts you are shit out of luck.
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No kids in rated R movies |
Okay, time to stick to the rating rules and at the same time eliminate the "unless accompanied by a parent or guardian" clause. If I am paying $35 for a movie I don't want to hear, "What did they say?" "What does that mean?" or crying… Hmmmm, maybe I should add old people to this as well…
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Comfortable seating with more than enough leg room |
I am 6' 6" tall and the aisle has become my friend. This is obviously for more leg room, but it also is because of my fear of sitting next to a smelly, chatty or rude person. However, if I am paying $35 for a movie I better damn well be comfortable and have the opportunity to sit dead center and stretch the limbs at the same time. Being tall this obviously affects me more than most, but I know even you short folks like more room as well or you bastards wouldn't take the last Emergency Exit row seat on airplanes while I sit scrunched in next to the 300 pounders. Punks!
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Trained projectionist |
Oh God! I can't tell you how many films I have seen recently that were shown for some duration in the wrong aspect ratio, or with part of the picture isn't on the screen or any other myriad of issues that can go wrong when the projectionist doesn't give a shit. If I am paying $35 for a ticket I damn well better see exactly what the director intended for me to see and I better not miss a single second because the aspect needs to be fixed or some ass behind the lens wasn't paying attention and switched reels at the wrong time.
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