Can I exchange no. 2 Ushers with Snipers?

Cellphone ringing? Not for long.
Thinking you're funnier than the movie and need to make it heard? There's your punchline.
Teenagers with superfluous hormones? The scene in AVP2 with the girl in underwear got a few lonely teens a bit noisy. If you can't get a girl than jerk off regularly (at home!) so you won’t bother other cinema visitors everytime you see a bit of skin.

A few points to make towards this:
1. I know silencers dont make the shots that quiet and decrease range but it's a lot shorter noise than the average ringtone and the range doesn't matter, no cinema is that big.
2. At least you know where the extra money goes. Their wages and cleaning cost.
3. If you're gonna get the boys and girls out of the middle east they'll need jobs. No need for them to end up living on the streets like the vets from gulf war 1.

Quality list. The images are above and beyond. I just don't get why theaters suck so hard these days… what about a member's only theater chain? If you can by season tickets why can't you go to a place where you know idiots will be excluded?

Snipers? Could work but the blood spatter would be an issue.

Exclusion of idiots? Hmmmm, but I would like to go.

1) NO kids (of any age)
2) NO obnoxious teenagers, unless they are alone (therfore liable to get a beating)
3) No People that touch my seat (my murder instinct cames full back to life when this happens)
4) No People who already saw the movieand can't keep their mouth shut
5) Complimentary first drink and pop corn
6) No problems with the film
7) No adversiment about coming to see "Paw Paw" and crap like such
8) No people who fidget on your same line of seats
9) No latie
10) Presidential permission to shoot cell phone talkers on he spot

well i want the movie to be good ….. if im not satisfied i get my money back …. for them to kno that your not lieing you get a lie detector test after the movie for anyone who seriously didnt enjoy the movie. Becasue yea you can get all the nice seating and ushers etc. but to spend $35 and then not like the movie you have just wasted $35 on crap.

yo, great list. $35 is still too high, but I might pay $20 if the theatres worked to get rid of some of the annoying behavoir that ruins the movie going experience.

blood spatter eh, should be contained with the big bucket seats.
Maybe the right angle can contain the splattering to a single seat area as well.
Look its just an idea so far, we'll have to extensively try and test it first.

Otherwise just invest in your own cinema room in your house. Good sound system and beamer. Nice seats. Fresh popcorn and such.
Plus, you'll allways know who you'd be beating up for that annoying ringtone.

There just isn't anything right now that could possibly make a movie experience worth $35/per viewing.

However, commenting on the list…
I would hope those seats have (silent) massage and heat controls :D, and there definitely should be free drinks and snacks included :popcorn:.

Personally, I can't understand why most of these "rules" aren't already enforced. They are exactly why I rarely go to the theaters, and prefer to wait for PayPerView or DVD. Exceptions are BIG blockbusters, but only during the lunch mid-week – long lunch hours are perfect to see a flick and avoid all the "problems."

:rockon2:Keep up the great list!