I Like It. You Don't Like It. So You're an Idiot! Right?
There's no qualifying one's taste in movies, but it's a fun argument
So I liked that movie and you didn't. Or I hated that one film and you placed it number 8 on your best of the year list. Let's tussle – right through the pub's window and into the street, just like something out of Rocky V… oh but at least we agree that movie sucks, right? No? Well, you're an idiot. Oh, I'm the idiot? We'll see who's the idiot after I drop kick your cerebral cortex to the nether regions of Tunisia. You'll renounce all love for Rocky V then, I bet!
Whoa whoa that's a pretty big, sharp piece of window glass you've got to my throat. Time out, okay. Can't we just get along? You and I always argue whether a movie is good or bad. And you know what? I've had an epiphany. Fighting over whether a movie is good or bad bores me. It's pointless. In the end, most likely you're going to stick to your opinion, as I will with mine – unless of course you keep that goddamn shiv on my Adam's apple because then I'll start noticing plenty to like in Rocky V.
I know I'm being hypocritical. Remember a while back when I trash talked everyone and their second cousin who liked The Boondock Saints (if you don't here you go). Yeah, I'm seeing the errors of my past. I still think it's a horrible movie in every imaginable way. But if you enjoy it, who am I to shatter that pleasant feeling for you?
Yet, when someone has the audacity to disagree with you on a particular flick, you get that need, that obsessive, pulsating desire to bend that person to your viewpoint. The fool must be set right, usually by hurling insults faster than he/she can retort. And when you're finished with that poor, misguided sonofabitch and he still thinks Alone in the Dark is a fun film, then by God (God, as in meaning you) he must be an imbecile beyond hope. After all, you're the God of Cinematic Taste and he who differs shall conform or perish to the might of your pointed mocking.
A few weeks ago on the set of Jennifer's Body I made what some would consider a folly of nerd-mentality manners among my fellow jaded reporters. I admitted that not only did I enjoy the Star Wars prequels, but I loved all three of them. L-O-V-E-D! (Oh and I really liked Superman Returns too, another controversial remark among my peers as it turns out.) And the guy next to me says, "And I guess some people sympathize with the Taliban too." And this was coming from a thick-accented, native German! Since when do Germans get to call anyone out as a fascist sympathizer? Yes yes, it was a joke and I took it as such. But what was it to him, or you – or anyone – for that matter, if I find the antics of Jar Jar Binks har-har-larious or not (I actually don't all that much)? It just means we have varying tastes. You can use that as a measuring stick if I recommend anything to you.
I hate Rocky V (and having deadly objects held to my vital arteries) and you love Rocky V (and holding deadly objects to other men's vital arteries). What we find funny, what we find entertaining, what we find scary and what stimulates us emotionally differs between every individual on this planet. If a movie entertains, scares, or makes me laugh or cry (even if I notice several flaws), why should I deny it?
But how do I explain it may be the better question. Sure I can use off-the-shelf film review parlance such as "the action scenes were tautly directed." Yet, when disagreeing, you can always justify your opinion by saying "the action scenes were sluggishly paced." Or you find Hayden Christensen horribly wooden in Star Wars. But I see him as brilliantly subtle (I actually do – but your retort can always be "yeah, so subtle to the point of impersonating drywall"). You see, even the "technical" arguments for a film's worth can be viewed in conflicting lights. Everything whirls around that mysterious ether of subjectivity, dictating how films connect with us, which the restricted nature of words and language will always fail to accurately explain. A movie resonates with you or it doesn't. It's individual mental chemistry.
The best you can do is give insight to the lens in which you viewed a particular movie with (this is the foundation of competent movie reviewing). For instance, I couldn't care less if a comedy contains poor performances or shoddy cinematography or is stupid as all hell. If I laughed, then I judge it as good comedy. Or if you enjoyed a movie simply because Indiana Jones appeared in it. Fair enough. I might find that a silly fulcrum to judge a film on (Brad sure as hell does). Yet, at least you indicated the view finder you're watching a film through. And while I may reject it as a guide for my own thoughts, there's still no ultimate authority stating your mode of analysis is worse than anyone else's. Despite what some say, there isn't an absolute scale for these sorts of things. If that's what works for you, then fantastic. Go with it. Godspeed, my friend.
It's not that I'm apathetic towards your opinion on a film's quality. Regardless if I may disagree, I'm always interested in hearing your thoughts of a flick (I just hope you convey the standards in which you based your feelings so I know where you're coming from). However, if you loved a movie and I didn't, I no longer feel the urge to change your mind. Life so often hemorrhages with things that create unhappiness. I see no point in snuffing out something that hands you a bit of delight in this world. That's just mean.
Although this begs the question of whether it's wrong to persuade someone from a negative to positive stance on a movie. I think it's less wrong since you're trying to add to the stack of things that could make someone happy. Yet, that driving need to crank someone like a garden-hose reel over to your position still reeks with insecurity, as if the very existence of dissension invalidates your own opinion somehow. So instead of accepting their judgment you'll often instead question their sanity, their intelligence and if you're a talkbacker on AintItCoolNews.com, their appearance and sexuality too (that is unless you are "first" in which case the point is moot).
So my friend, I say put the shiv down and let a fellow human completely disagree with you. I don't like Rocky V, deal with it. Then have the self-confidence to just go, "Cool. I see your point. I understand… " without the words "… that you're a fucking idiot and I'm gon' tell you why," following behind.
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