If you know me at all you know that I hate stupid people. But even worse is stupid journalism, like we have right here. It’s more abhorrent because stupid people don’t know any better but journalists should.

This article is what I speak of.

So let’s break this thing down. I’ll give credit where credit is due, some of the things in here make sense, but overall I am going to MURDER this piece.

Time for some pull quotes!

LOS ANGELES, California (Hollywood Reporter) — Brian Robbins is having the best month of his career. As the director of DreamWorks' "Norbit" and the producer, along with partner Michael Tollin, of the Walt Disney Studios' "Wild Hogs," he has been responsible for bringing in better than $120 million to the North American box office during the past month — with more sure to come. But if the critics had their way, his star-driven, high-concept movies would be playing to empty theaters.

"How does a movie score in the 90s with an audience and get a 9 percent positive rating on Rotten Tomatoes?" Robbins said, referring to "Norbit's" onslaught of negative reviews as summarized on the review compilation site, http://www.rottentomatoes.com. "How do you figure that? Is the audience that stupid? Is America's taste that bad? I don't think so." While the jury may still be out on America's intelligence, Robbins has given up making movies for critics.

A few things here. The jury is not still out; overall we are becoming a nation of imbeciles. You need look no further than our slipping educational rankings against industrialized nations. Oh, and that bit with the news media referring to Anna Nicole as "our" Lady Di seemed a bit stupid, but that's just me. But really, that’s a mass generalization too and unlike both Brian Robbins and The Hollywood Reporter's writer I’m going to give you a little more intelligence. I figure that’s why you come to RopeofSilicon.

Here are a few “facts” everyone clearly missed on their way to saying how dandy Norbit is.

• Casino Royale = $166 million, 94% on RT
• The Departed = $131 million, 93% on RT, Best Picture Oscar
• Borat = $128 million, 93% on RT

Notice that the last movie listed is a comedy too Bri-boy, so the real answer is that America has both idiots and people who enjoy something a little more highbrow. We’re a big country, 300 million strong, so your $83 million at the box office represents about eleven million people. That’s right; one out of every 30 Americans eats paste. No wait, some people were probably suckered in, so let’s say 1 out of 60 Americans runs into walls. That’s ok, I accept that. Let’s get back to the article.

"If you read reviews on a consistent basis on all films, you realize that the majority of films just get murdered," Robbins said. "The only films that get good reviews are the ones that nobody sees. I just don't think you can make movies for critics."

Please note the three movies above, all with 90%. Also, of the top 100 films at the box office the average grade was 49% on RT. That’s not getting murdered, that’s fair. Critics like some things. Others they don’t. Crazy huh?

What Robbins has proved is he can make movies for the masses.

Not true. He makes movies for 1 out of 30 people. Even gigantic films only draw 15% of our population.

"Hogs" brought in audiences of all shapes and sizes, from older white males who never go to the movies to young black kids who wanted something funny.

This not proven. Nowhere have the demographics for Wild Hogs been listed. This is a “fact free” statement.

Business for "Norbit" fell by just a scant 35 percent, proving that audiences were still interested in both comedies.

NO NO NO!!! This is a clear example of fixing the numbers to suit your argument. The true indication of word of mouth is from weekend one to two. Norbit made $34m weekend one. $16m weekend two. That’s over a 50% decline, which is actually average, not great, but average. Norbit fell 35% in the fourth weekend due to a little thing called “math.” As the weeks progress films lose less of a percentage at the box office because the overall dollar number is smaller, yet the amount of people seeing films is somewhat static. This is a proven metric for the majority of movies. Films that have been out three weeks that follow this trend (in the top ten):

• Ghost Rider
• Music and Lyrics
• Breach

The only one that is different is Bridge to Terabithia and the difference is a scant 1.6%. See, this is the difference between blather and research. Whoever wrote this has a job at The Hollywood Reporter, which I’m guessing pays them, well but they are either lying to you or are uninformed.

In the case of "Norbit," Robbins attributes the film's staggering success — it has made $83.2 million — to Eddie Murphy doing what he does best.

STAGGERING SUCCESS! 30 films made over $80m last year (or more than one every two weeks). Included in these? The Pink Panther, Nacho Libre, Scary Movie 4. Were these movies also staggering? Are you staggered? Personally I am so staggered I can’t even stand.

"You can't review 'Norbit' like you're reviewing 'The Departed.' What are you going to talk about, subtleties in performance?" asked Robbins, who now follows Murphy's advice and doesn't read the reviews of the movies on which he's involved. "Eddie Murphy plays three amazingly different characters brilliantly. How could you not praise that? No offense to Alan Arkin (who beat Murphy for the supporting actor Oscar), but he couldn't do what Eddie did in 'Norbit.' "

I didn’t review Norbit like The Departed because they are different. What I did was watched them at different times and then wrote different reviews. Crazy, eh? True, there are no subtleties to Murphy’s performance, good of you to note that.

Alan Arkin could not do what Murphy did, again true. You’d probably have to murder Arkin to get him in a fat suit. You’d have to stuff his lifeless body into that fat suit.

Final quote:

"Don't pay attention to tracking and don't read the reviews," Robbins said. "Funny trumps. Work with movie stars."

Sort of true! movie stars help bring in audiences. Well played. Funny trumps? No, the laws of averages does. Some people simply like comedy others find retarded. That doesn’t make me right, I grant you that. But it doesn’t make you right either. It’s entirely possible that your comedies do appeal to a lower level of thinker.

You should just be grateful that there is an audience for your movies. They pay your salary. But that doesn’t make you a fantastic success. It just means you know your audience. Also, they eat paste.

By the way, I hope you read my Norbit review. I was very kind.

Related post categories: Editorials, Features : Brian Robbins, Norbit

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