Movie Review: The Unborn (2009)
Scary kids eh? That's a new one...
Photo: Rogue Pictures
Someone please tell me why demons, ghosts and movie ghoulies must open their mouths and screech? What is that? Is that like a beyond the world of the living thing I am just not up on or what? Anyway, with The Unborn you are in for 87 minutes of screeching demon kids, dogs with upside down heads and the fact that if it wasn't for the Nazis this entire film wouldn't exist. I tell yah, those Nazis inspired more films in the past 12 months than any other, and now they become original sources for current day ghost stories. Go figure.
David Goyer, billed as one of the brain factories behind the recent incarnation of Batman, writes and directs in his follow-up to the box-office and critical bust The Invisible and this time he brings along with him Cloverfield cutie Odette Yustman to battle an evil twin baby born out of the internment camps at Auschwitz. Along to help her battle these evil spirits are Gary Oldman, Idris Elba and Cam Gigandet whose 14-year-old girl cred elevated by 100% after his turn as an evil vamp in Twilight.
The Unborn is nothing more than you would expect. Going into it you anticipate a second rate PG-13 thriller and while Goyer manages to push the gore to the edge it never really elevates itself out of the cellar of average. Oldman's role is minimal to the point it appears he did it as a favor for his Batman cohort and Elba's role is miniscule even compared to that as he shows up only in the final minutes. While Yustman parades around in her late night panties, sure to give the guys a rise, the character the ladies in the audience are meant to connect to comes via Meagan Good as a foul-mouthed, tell-it-like-it-is, occasional dabbler in the supernatural best friend as she doles out quick quips and f-bombs to freaky little kids for good measure.
There are a few scares as the audience I saw it with jumped more than a couple of times followed by the usual uncomfortable laughter as they cleaned the popcorn off themselves. The plot is a string of the usual occult theories and mysteries making it feel like material you have seen time and time again bringing up memories of The Skeleton Key and The Reaping. And like those movies, this one may leave only the most forgiving audience member satisfied as the majority will look past the mild scares and wonder why exactly they spent $11 on a movie they will feel as if they have seen before.
The Unborn isn't a travesty to be compared to cinema's worst as it scratches on the door of mediocrity and you won't hate yourself for watching this film. But I have a hard time believing anyone will come away anything more than mildly satisfied.
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