Movie Review: Punisher: War Zone (2008)
Flat out awful, but I know some of you will like it
Photo: Lionsgate
I have never subscribed to the "so good it's bad" idea of looking at films. I am sure I have a few exceptions to that rule (the first two Mummy movies suck, but I enjoy them for example), but Punisher: War Zone is truly awful. I am not saying you won't enjoy it, I am just saying I didn't. There is an audience for a film like this and I don't particularly believe you have to be a mouth-breathing troglodyte to be a part of that group. I am not a comic book reader, but I would bet anyone that reads "Punisher" comics will enjoy this. On top of that this film is not shying away from absurdity, it embraces it. It would be hard for me to believe that director Lexi Alexander didn't realize all her actors were using accents that if spoofed on "Saturday Night Live" would encourage Oscar nominations. No, it appears Alexander went about making this film a bit backwards and asked for the worst dialogue, performances and plot devices and proceeded to put it all in a gorefest disguised as an action film. If what I am describing excites you, just wait… I'm not done.
Inside Punisher: War Zone necks aren't broken once, they are broken twice. If you are a near dead mother with one foot in the grave that won't prevent your head from getting turned into a sizzling crater of gore. If you are a Parkour rooftop performer you won't have enough moves to avoid a heat seeking rocket as it pirouettes toward its victim and blows him up in midair. And when a gunfight is about to occur in downtown New York in the middle of the night, don't worry, a phone call has been placed and we now have a permission to use explosives all night long. Yup, in New York you are allowed to use explosives that sound like gunfire, death, screaming and carnage in the middle of the night and no one is the wiser. What a city!
As I said, Punisher: War Zone is absurd. Little girls wave goodbye to the mammoth of a man that killed their father and just single-handedly slaughtered hundreds of men. Understandable. Something I hope gets leaked is the actual body count in this film because I think it is giving this year's latest installment of Rambo a serious run for its money. Rambo came in credited with 236 deaths, the bar has been set and I am dying to know if Punisher meets and exceeds it.
Folks that read this site often already know I enjoyed this year's Rambo, and are probably wondered why one film filled with carnage and an outright determination to inflict as much bodily damage as possible would be better than the other. The best answer is to look at Rambo as reality and imagine notching up the absurdity a couple hundred of degrees. Dominic West plays the film's baddie named Jigsaw and gives a performance so over the top and ridiculous you can't help but loathe every minute he is seen on screen. I don't care if it is tongue-in-cheek and if it is supposed to be ludicrous. It stinks and it was hardly tolerable. Jigsaw's brother, Loony Bin Jim (Doug Hutchison), is locked away in an insane asylum and once broken out he decides the first thing he is going to do is eat the orderly's kidney. Mmmm, yummy eh? He could have at least thrown it on the George Foreman griller first… that I could have at least have some respect for.
For those thinking I am spoiling the movie by revealing all the gruesome details, I'm not. It's one thing for me to tell you the violent obsessed vigilante known as The Punisher (Ray Stevenson) actually punches a guy's face in and it is another thing to see it done. It's funny to even think of Stevenson as the film's stereotypical meathead avenger considering I just reviewed the Wanted Blu-ray and mentioned how James McAvoy was such a welcome new addition to the action hero genre since he was an everyman. I guess you only get so much originality a year. However, what this film lacks in originality it makes up for in stupidity. And I can tell you right now there is very little middle ground, you are going to either love the hell out of this film or hate it. You know where I stand, but I hope I gave you enough ammo to make your decision on whether you want to give it a shot because if anything I said interests you don't deny yourself the chance to see it all played out on the big screen.
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