Filed under: Movie News

Horror Needs a Killer Fish Movie

Strange as it may sound, that might not be too far off

Photo: commercial-archive.com

I shocked myself with my intense negativity for the idea of a Pirahna remake as I looked back through the archives. I have written about the remake not once, not twice, not three times, but four times already and each time I called it either "stupid" or "unnecessary". Well, in the spirit of full disclosure and downright honesty, I am going to say I think I was wrong.

Horror has pretty much gone stale in my opinion. It has become filled with PG-13 thrillers that really aren't horrors. To add insult to injury, the R-rated horror films seem more interested in giving us gore alone and nothing interesting in terms of storyline. To put it plainly, horror films have either become cheap thrillers or 90 minute gross outs. Entertainment really doesn't come into the equation.

What has me changing my stance on the Piranha remake set to be directed by Alex Aja (The Hills Have Eyes and High Tension) was not Bloody-Disgusting's report in which effects designer Greg Nicotero says the remake will be "'Girls Gone Wild' with boobs and blood and piranhas," even though I am sure many of you are already sold based on that alone.

Nope, it was a few of the comments left in B-D's article that got me to thinking, "Hmmm, they may have a point here." Here's the one that had me changing my mind:

Cannot…fucking…wait. This is exactly what the genre needs; a balls to the wall killer fish movie. Wonder what kinda input [Joe] Dante is gonna have. ~ Droogie13

Yeah, it may sound silly and stupid to think the phrase "balls to the wall killer fish movie" could inspire interest, but for me it actually does. This isn't going to be Anacondas, Primeval or even Lake Placid for that matter. For anyone that has seen Aja's High Tension or Hills Have Eyes you already know he is not one for cheap violence, this guy goes all out. In that sense, consider killer fish, teens going for a swim and add a shit ton of blood. Yeah, it's camp, but when was the last time we saw a campy horror film that took itself seriously? The "campiness" is the entertainment. Slither gave it a shot and I enjoyed it, but I think this one will take it even a step further.

Oh, and even though I have gotten tired of the 3-D gimmick for most films, the fact that Piranha will be shot in 3-D only has me that much more interested. It's currently set for a July 24, 2009 release.

Chastise me below for changing my opinion, but if you can also offer up your thoughts on what you think this movie may offer that would be nice as well.

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Post #1
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Wow.
This movie is fuckin ridiculous.
Wanna know why I wanna see it?
THE DIRECTOR OF HIGH TENSION!!

In my opinion, High Tension is the best horror movie of the past few years.
I have given up on mainstream US horror movies.
I have gone to indie and foreign horror movies.
IE: High Tension.

I never saw that ending coming.
Never.
It was so shocking.
I was on the edge of my seat the entire movie.
Something I haven't been in a while.

The only decent American horror movie recently was The Strangers.
I know ya'll at ROS didn't like it, but I thought Liv Tyler did amazing.

But truthfully, the only horror movies of the past few years worth mentioning are The Decent and High Tension.
The rest has been shit.
So hopefully he can make Piranha be another.
But I doubt it.
Severely.

PS-
Catacombs with Pink was pretty good.
Tiny bit predictable.
But better than most of the shit out there these days.

- moviecritic2192
( June 8th, 2008 | 5:44 pm )
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