Girl's Best Friend: The Comic Book Superhero
They don't all wear tight tights.
Photo: Warner Bros.
Given the paragraph above, you should know that, if you're reading this, I already think highly of your girlfriend. And if I think highly of your girlfriend, then I'm automatically assuming she doesn't twitter away her days discussing nothing but the lighter side of Kate Hudson's film repertoire. A real girl likes real movies. Thus, if your girl really is so great as to deserve a movie date this weekend, she has probably already bought tickets to go see Watchmen. I don't say that because the reviews have been astounding (they haven't) or I've seen an advanced screening and preemptively approve it (I haven't); I say it because it's movie history, and any true lover of movies must be at least a little bit curious.
If the lady and you do have plans to see Watchmen, then… I can bet you already know a bit about it. If it's the lady herself who has requested the fanboy sojourn, however, you might do a bit of homework. Read about it here and there, and then ask yourself… what's the appeal? Is it the Historical Movie Moment Factor™, i.e., the fact that the most loved comic ever is hitting the big screen? Is it the 300-style, eye-popping graphics and special effects? Is it her not-so-secret Alan Moore obsession? Her slightly curious Billy Crudup obsession? Maybe. But it's also the curiosity wrought from seeing multiple masked women and men of mystery blow up the big screen. Ladies love the superhero.
Let me clarify: not all ladies love collecting material goods based on the superhero, repeatedly discussing the superhero, verbally admonishing the superhero, or in other ways treating the superhero as if he or she were a real person. But… ladies love the superhero.
That fantastically capable demi-god from comic book lore has gotten a lot of face-time recently. With The Dark Knight and Iron Man (and you can throw in the opening number with Hugh Jackman from last month's Academy Awards in lieu of the upcoming X-Men Origins: Wolverine), you might wonder what's left to see out there. Well, let's revisit recent comics-turned-movies that pump up the presence of the atypical superhero: the average guy wronged by life. In the event you want your weekend to go comic book-crazy, here are suggestions of a few adapted greats that any perfect girl would love to watch with you:
Plot: After fifteen years in jail, a man embarks to avenge his wrongful imprisonment.
Pluses: He's not a superhero, but you do get to root for the underdog, watch some startling beat-downs, laugh, cry, cringe and be amazed for two full hours.
Minuses: "Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone."
If she likes it, also consider: Sympathy for Lady Vengeance
Link? Certainly
Plot: Two post-high school misfits pretend to befriend Steve Buscemi.
Pluses: Scarlett Johansson in one of a small number of roles in which she isn't attempting to break up a marriage.
Minuses: Few from my vantage point.
If she likes it, also consider: Napoleon Dynamite, who really could star in his own comic book.
Link? Certainly
Plot: A biker boy amped up by the government goes on a killing spree. Hijinks ensue.
Pluses: Oldie but a goodie. From start to finish, it's one blast of excitement after another.
Minuses: You might risk wetting your pants, which may threaten to wreck the mood.
If she likes it, also consider: Ghost in the Shell
Link? Certainly
Plot: The title says it, really. It's American life in all its splendid normalcy.
Pluses: Paul Giamatti plays our title character, Harvey Pekar, with splendor.
Minuses: It waxes a bit depressing (as does America).
If she likes it, also consider: Persepolis
Link? Certainly
Plot: Based on and drawn by the author of the graphic novels of the same name, this film tells the coming-of-age story of an Iranian girl during and after the Islamic Revolution.
Pluses: It's black and white hand animation, which looks really cool.
Minuses: Will remind you of the glaring fact you are not well-traveled, Bali aside.
If she likes it, also consider: Waltz with Bashir
Link? Certainly
Plot: Basin City is a mess!
Pluses: Fabulously cast, stylistically slick, and with a kiss from Tarantino, visually compelling.
Minuses: Sets you up to expect a really cool sequel, which has yet to be delivered.
If she likes it, also consider: Not seeing The Spirit
Link? Certainly
Plot: United they stand.
Pluses: Bryan Singer.
Minuses: X-men 3: The Last Stand
If she likes it, also consider: Watchmen, clearly. And the upcoming X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Watch that trailer. It is RAD.
Link? Certainly
There you have it, a small collection of comic books adapted to movies that are snuggle time-ready and girl-approved (by me, at least). Sure, a few are violent, but isn't life but A History of Violence? With this list, at least, you'll be ready to put the lights down low just in time to witness Neo-Tokyo explode (potentially in your pants), no matter your comic genre preference. But do let me know if there are other flicks you would suggest!
If you manage to set the mood right via any of the films above, you might just go for broke and try to segue into a little Guitar Hero or Halo 3 to finish your evening. That is, if you didn't want to get any below the guitar action. Otherwise, stick to the task at hand–which is loving your girl's best friend.
Oh, and if you haven't seen that Wolverine trailer yet, do yourself a favor directly below…
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