BOND GIRLS TOP 40: GIRLS 1-10

Improved

10) Had this been an actual Top 10 list, this is where Martine Beswick would have gone (or even the other Gypsy girl, Aliza Gur, or any of a number of other oversights).

9) After Ursula Andress, Shirley Eaton's golden girl is the most iconic Bond woman. She's a bit on the thin side for my taste, but what a face and what a look. Definitely top 10 material.

8) That's better. Hot, hot, hot even compared to other Bond girls, Daniela Binachi may have the best all-around body on the list.

7) And while she gets the odd bit of jealous criticism for cellulite, Claudine Auger may be the most beautiful woman on the list. Except for Halle Berry, they unfortunately don't make Bond women like Auger any more.

6) Your set-up highlights the problem with this choice. After Austin Powers, no one can take those smarmy but prudish Bond seduction scenes seriously _ if anyone ever did. Fiona Fullerton is a good-looking woman, but the audience doesn't get what it wants. Personally, I think of AVTAK and chuckle.

5) Jane Seymour is a seriously pretty woman and may have the series' best hair after Sophie Marceau and Michelle Yeoh. But suffers from that silly "virgin seeress" conceit, which is only one factor that makes LALD a cringefest. You can just see the script meetings: we've been slightly progressive, now we've got to throw in something for the racists. Seymour's performance is also just plain dull. She's been better in almost everything else she's done. (On a related note, whoever's breasts those are in "Wedding Crahsers" are certainly nice, and perky enough for a 25-year-old, much less a 55-year-old. On the other hand, they don't look any larger than Seymour's natural 35Bs, they're largely obscured by Vince Vaughn's hands and we don't see Jane's face and cleavage together in the same shot. I congratulate Seymour on her continued good-looks and wish those breasts are hers, but the jury is way, way out on that.)

4) Lust at first sight, huh? I'll admit Caterina Murino is Top 11-15 material. Physically, she reminds me of Barbara Carrera, who is missing.

3) Damn, Halle Berry is one fine woman. Definitely in the top 3.

2) In several decades, the former Richard Starkey had more luck than entire continents. But while I like Mrs. Ringo as much as anyone, well, almost, I'd slide her down a few spots to accommodate Halle Berry, Sophie Marceau, Claudine Auger, Teri Hatcher. Still, Bach plays a strong character in an enteratining movie, so I won't gripe too much. I still regret there was no action between Barbara Bach and Caroline Munro. What a missed opporunity!

1) Right you are. The orignal is still the greatest. There are Bond Girls with pretty faces, better legs and even better breasts than Ursula Andress, but nobody represents as well as she does. Not even Halle Berry coming out of the sea can erase the memory of Ursula's appearance in Dr. No.

In any event, you've rehabilitated yourself with this top 10, which holds up very well.